I am often amazed at how my meditation book speaks to me, giving me just what I need:
(HP speaking...)
"Life is really consciousness of Me.
Have no fear. A very beautiful future lies before you. Let it be a new life, a new existence, in which every single happening, event, plan, you are conscious of Me.
.... Be in all things led by the Spirit of God.... and trust Me in all. And the consciousness of Me must bring Joy. Give me not only trust, but gladness."
From God Calling, February 12
My sponsor gave me this book when she gave me the Big Book. If it's not appropriate for me to post this, Dean, please let me know.
I'm just full of gladness today, despite having been so sick and without my meeting structure. I read again , the BB story last night, The Housewife Who Drank at Home and I love this paragraph....
"At one time the admission that I was and am an alcoholic meant shame, defeat, and failure to me. But in the light of the new understanding that I have found in AA, I have been able to interpret that defeat and that failure and that shame as seeds of victory. Because it was only through feeling defeat and feeling failure, the inability to cope with my life and with alcohol, that I was able to surrender...."
Wow, I feel so blessed. Thanks for being here with me.
Gladee, you can post anything here that doesn't offend and isn't derogatory with regards to the subject of the message board. I enjoyed it, and I'd add ..."today". HP cannot be with us, when we are up in our head thinking about the past or the future.
I have been able to interpret that defeat and that failure and that shame as seeds of victory.
That I really needed. I struggle sometimes with my head and wonder why it has to be so hard, and so damn painful, sometimes but that reminds me that it is not. I have a chance to build a new and better me, a happier me with a soul in contact with its Creator, and I would never have had that chance without this disease.
It's only as hard as I make it, isn't it? The answers are there if I want them and if I put my faith in my HP I will be just fine.
Things aren't hard - they're just different and they are a better different.
I don't know if what I wrote makes any sense to anyone else but it does to me.
God Calling by A.J. Russell can be gotten used on Amazon for $8 and shipping. I get most all my CDs and books used-save a lot of money and have never been disappointed with the quality. I go for "like new" or "very good" condition.
