Sorry friends, have to blow off steam...

Just Toni · MIP Old Timer

Sorry friends, have to blow off steam...

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Don't let the ****birds get you down Tonicakes. When someone makes an offhanded comment like that to me, I usually just smile and say "It's like that huh?" and laugh. If they ask "like what?" I just laugh again and change the subject. People make derogatory remarks when they don't feel good about themselves. It's a game of "If I bring them down, it will be uplifting to my sorry @$$ed disposition. Don't give them the satisfaction. I enjoy taking the high road, with a little hidden sarcasm of course. bwahahaha

mikef · MIP Old Timer

WE AGREE TO DISAGREE WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLE!! IT SHOULD ONLY BE THAT EASY HUH~ Thanks for sharing and putting yourself in the solution while doing so,now thats good work!!! Prayer,lookin inside,sharing like it is,knowing some of your own"stuff" yup lookin good... :) :)In support smile

gladlee · Senior Member

You can vomit on me anytime, I clean up nicely.

I think Tonicakes could use the tee-shirt a fellowship member here has been wearing to meetings lately:

NAMASTE BITCHES

I'll join Dean with a wicked laugh, Bwahahahahahahaha!!

Love you (((Toni)))

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

I've had this t-shirt (for Alcoholics) idea for while now.

On the Front it'll say "Be Careful What You Say To Me, Because I Am a Sensitive Person"

On the Back it'll say "Disregard What I Just Said To You, Because I Am an Insensitive
Person"

present company excluded of course biggrin

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 6th of February 2011 02:56:05 PM

Just Toni · MIP Old Timer

This was a big day for me, had come to my own conclusions about my plans, and this was the Oncologist that just came with the "package" so to speak for I wanted to use this state of the Art Center as it it considered the best on the West Coast...

i told her my decision, that was crystal clear, and her words were, Dont agree with you, she is a very young
inexperienced new Doc, so now at this time, I do need to go back to drawing board with my own Doctor here that I commucicate with very well, and go to Plan B.

She was rude and was talking at me, not to me.
So just looking forward to getting to Plan B. Tick tock, have to make this change right away. Looking forward to dealing with a Mature doctor......

ok over and out, Gladee, I want one of those tee shirts, so funny....

OK speaking of time, its getting close to Kick off.....well
just under 3 hours...

Hugs, and needed to clarify for some reason....

Loe you all and thanks for your endless uncondition support....it really helped me....when my head was screaming help, there it was, something I can always count on, and as Mike always say, "if God is for us, who can be against us.

Toni

Tonicakes

gladlee · Senior Member

(((Toni))) I apologize for my insensitivity.

I just wanted to share, my sister ended up firing her oncologist for treating her like a less-than.

My son is in medical school. He is young and insensitive. I think they get wrapped up in the science of it all, and forget they are dealing with human beings who happen to have feelings... and who also do their homework. (in my experience, an over-sized ego doesn't like this.) Perhaps also, they just don't have good detachment skills, it's gotta be a tough job.

I believe you have an internal physician protecting you, I love how she spoke up today!!

I will send light to all your caregivers for wisdom, understanding and compassion, all in Divine order. (((hugs)))

Just Toni · MIP Old Timer

I did not see anything "insensitive" in your response. I had not clarified anything.....and thanks for sharing about your Sister firing her Ongologist.....

Funny too, One of my Sons lives down the Coast,20 miles south of the Coast, where I live, has a full time Practice, within a Clinic, about 6 Docss, and took on 2 nights as an ER in the Pychic ward, little did he know that would sometimes mean an extra 10 ER calls per night, now he is working
about 60 hours a week, was telling me that he needs to cut back somewhere, I am so happy for him, one of the things that always stands out, is his love of his patience,
a very loving son and doctor....EGO, dont think so, but he has a lot of incredible prestige that comes back to him. when he was in Med school he seemed to have sort of an ego about it....so maybe that will change for you too.

So how is your Flu, hope so much that it is jut GONE Gone, gone.

Thanks for your gentle caring and support, it really DOES make a big deal difference to me.

hope you have a wonderful day, not going to ask you if you have cable, worried about the answer....:)

(((((((((((((((Gladee)))))))))))))))))

Tonicakes

-- Edited by Just Toni on Sunday 6th of February 2011 05:11:15 PM

gladlee · Senior Member

The virus is still hanging on, I went to a meeting earlier today with my own box of tissues, I am sooooo congested. I just rested my head against the cinder block wall, haha. Of course, it was a great meeting. It's the meeting with all the nuns... one of them always drops the eff-bomb, which I find so entertaining, hehe.

I do not have cable, apparently it is Super Bowl Sunday. I am totally fine... other than no one seems to be here at MIP. When I was married, this day would have been like a loud, obnoxious, holiday, not missing it....

other than the food, that was the best part. So... not to miss out, I just got back from my favorite food trough, Whole Foods. It was my lucky day, they had all my favorites, Polenta Ragout and Eggplant Parmesan! I now regret that I didn't grab the brownies in the bakery though, darn.

I hope your day is getting much better.... and includes dessert ((tonicakes))

leeu · MIP Old Timer

That little jumpy red angry face just says it all!! That and the bit about dessert. Tuck 12 steps in between the two, and there ya go! Oh, and the T-shirt with sensitive-insensitive, gotta have one. I love how I can troll through posts and don't even need the details--it just all makes sense! Almost as if we are all in the same boat.....hmmmmmm :)

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey JT,
I think your plan b is going to make you happier. We fired our first Oncologist for some of the same reasons. We ended up in a great system and we are thankful we did not "do it her way".
Tom

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

I think to a certain degree anger is unavoidable...it's a natural human emotion. Though from my own recent experiences, I need to pay much closer attention to what I do with it. Also, feeling a super duper resentment takes so much energy in retrospect. It is like being a slave to something all over again and my program is about being free....free from crappy feelings, free from the bondage of self, and free from alcohol. Glad you are feeling better Toni! Keep on Keepin on!

Mark

rkdian34 · Member

Anger is not a natural human emotion... It is a reaction to fear. The book says, "We must be free of anger." If you opinion varies try AA

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

rkdian34 wrote:

Anger is not a natural human emotion... It is a reaction to fear. The book says, "We must be free of anger." If you opinion varies try AA

If you use the seach feature, you'll find 5 pages of threads on the subject of AA's view of anger. Such as this one. http://aa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42735&p=3&topicID=14233950

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 7th of February 2011 10:51:33 AM

billyjack · Senior Member

rkdian said..." Anger is not a natural human emotion... It is a reaction to fear. The book says, "We must be free of anger." If you opinion varies try AA "

Anger is a GOD given emotion, just like all the rest of my emotions. So, since they are GOD given, they ARE natural human emotions. And If they are GOD given, they are good. The problem is not the emotion, but how a self centered, selfish, frightened, untreated alcoholic uses them.

Anger is a reaction to fear, and unfortunately, as a human I will never be free of fear. My only solution is to align my will with GODS will, continue to take inventory, continue to humbly rely on GOD to remove what stands in my way of my being useful to HIM and those about me. Then and only then does GOD give me the serenity to match calamity, and my emotions do not run me into the ground. " trust GOD, clean house, help others " Yes with out question try AA

rkdian34 · Member

Doesn't that depend on which G_D you worship?

billyjack · Senior Member

No. we are all free to worship whatever god we want, but the GOD who runs the universe will do acording to His will, with or with out our permission.

rkdian34 · Member

The G_d of my understanding isn't the G_d of your understanding. My God is a loving G_d he doesn't dispense fear, he removes it.

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

rkdian34 wrote:

The G_d of my understanding isn't the G_d of your understanding. My God is a loving G_d he doesn't dispense fear, he removes it.

Then where does fear come from?

Like if God made me, and he is all knowing and all powerful, and my self will creates fear and God created me, didn't God create my fear?

What if God is to you like water is to a goldfish in a bowl ... always in it and of it -- surrounded, supported and sustained by it.

So then, if God is anything like that -- anything at all -- then maybe you can stop torturing yourself with the question of what is God's Will vs. what is your will.

Because if there's no "wrong" place to be in the bowl for that goldfish (and how could there be, since there's no place in that bowl for the fish not to be in the water) then there's no place in your world you can not be in, of, surrounded, supported and sustained by God -- whatever the idea of "God" means to you.

_________________________

Underneath the question of whether something is "God's Will" or "my will" is really an attempt to make sure I make the "right" decision -- and underneath that is not a desire to make the right decision, but the fear of what will happen if I make the wrong decision.

And isn't fear of making the wrong decision merely the fear that I'll not get what I think I want? Isn't it just the fear that if, in the Cosmic Game Show of life, I "guess wrong" then my path will be hard not easy, full of lack rather than abundance, and I will discover that, spiritually speaking, I took a wrong turn, and thus, wound up in the wrong place?

But if I am maybe like the goldfish, then there is no wrong place. There is no place my will can remove me from God's Will.
I don't believe I can move "further away" or "closer" to God, since I am "of" God, surrounded by God
God giveth and God taketh away

and I have emotions around this, the emotions are mine

and if I am an alcoholic, I have clear cut instructions on how to deal with these emotions

if nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake, there must be a lesson somewhere, it's up to me whether I choose to learn it, so my God dispenses and removes fear, creates the sunset, love, children and the perfect breast, but also created hate, fear, war and nuclear power plants

There is nothing that is not God right? like God is not some emergency pinch hitter I call just when I want the world and my emotions about it changed, God either is, or isn't, and if God "is" God is everything right?

So I might as well just get comfortable with the situation and get busy accepting things how they are, then get busy living, and deciding how I want that to look like, miserable and pissed off, thinking I know best, or chill, like someone who has learned to surf the monster waves, that WILL take me from point A to Point B regardless of my wishes, I just get to choose whether it's a fun ride or a miserable one

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Anger is a natural emotion. Period. If I slap you, you will get angry. In AA we do work to rid ourselves of anger, but to have no anger would mean to be less than human. It doesn't make sense to split hairs and misinterpret the big book.

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Fear is also natural. Fear can be adaptive. The point is not to have one's actions all based in fear and to lessen irrational fears. The experience of fear is unavoidable though to some degree.

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

pinkchip wrote:

Anger is a natural emotion. Period. If I slap you, you will get angry. In AA we do work to rid ourselves of anger, but to have no anger would mean to be less than human. It doesn't make sense to split hairs and misinterpret the big book.

As was stated earlier by BillyJack, it's not emotions or instincts themselves that get us in trouble, it's the distortion thereof (I'm agreeing with you) I always liked this description from the 12 and 12 that introduces us to step 4

CREATION gave us instincts for a purpose. Without them we wouldn't be complete human beings. If men and women didn't exert themselves to be secure in their persons, made no effort to harvest food or construct shelter, there would be no survival. If they didn't reproduce, the earth wouldn't be populated. If there were no social instinct, if men cared nothing for the society of one another, there would be no society. So these desires-for the sex relation, for material and emotional security, and for companionship-are perfectly necessary and right, and surely God-given.

Yet these instincts, so necessary for our existence, often far exceed their proper functions. Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives. Our desires for sex, for material and emotional security, and for an important place in society often tyrannize us. When thus out of joint, man's natural desires cause him great trouble, practically all the trouble there is. No human being, however good, is exempt from these troubles. Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct. When that happens, our great natural assets, the instincts, have turned into physical and mental liabilities.

Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. We want to find exactly how, when and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for us. Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, most of us have found that the faith which really works in daily living is still out of reach.