Well, I can honestly say that almost everything I did when I was drinking was selfish. If I'm doing something expecting or wanting to get something in return, that's selfish. If I put my feelings ahead of others without taking theirs into account, that's selfish. Of the top 5 most important things in my life today, I fall in at # 4. Sure, I love the person I am today, but placing others needs ahead of my own is really how we as human beings were meant to live (IMO). I've found that giving freely of myself today is is own reward, and there's nothing better in the world for me than the feeling I get when I'm truly unselfish.
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Was I thinking of myself to the exclusion of others
I used to think selfish meant greedy, which it does, but what it really means to me now is "clueless", unaware of the impact of my actions on those around me
I also agree with Klaatu, if I give "gifts with strings" or "love with strings" or do ANYTHING with an eye on what it is in for me, I am acting selfishly, virtue is it's own reward, because when there is some other reward, it's no longer virtue, it's selfish
I also agree with aquadude, it's warm, it's dark, it's comfortable, and I spent a great deal of time there, and when I get scared I scurry right back there, and I know I'm not done until I hear a giant "pop"
the sound of my head being forcibly removed from my a**
It was also explained to me to pick up a dictionary, and I am not being condescending or demeaning, I actually had to get a dictionary and my sponsor would make me look up words all the time, words like selfish that I thought I knew the definition of, and I was an avid reader, had been reading my fathers college books since about age 7, was reading Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller by age ten, I fancied myself pretty smart...another bubble burst......sigh
# concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others; "Selfish men were...trying to make capital for themselves out of the sacred cause of civil rights"- Maria Weston Chapman wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
# Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfish
# Holding ones self-interest as the standard for decision making; Having regard for oneself above others well-being en.wiktionary.org/wiki/selfish
# selfishly - egotistically: in an egotistical manner; "he behaved egotistically" wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
# selfishness - stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
# selfishly - In a selfish manner; with regard to private interest only or chiefly en.wiktionary.org/wiki/selfishly
# selfishness - the quality of being selfish, the condition of habitually putting one's own interests before those of others en.wiktionary.org/wiki/selfishness
-- Edited by LinBaba on Thursday 3rd of February 2011 09:09:29 PM
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Bill recovered alcoholic, the active drunk is incredabley selfish and dishonest. How can a person empty the the bank account that was set up for the woman who said she was preegant and then run off with the girl who would become the wife .that because I didn't didn't get a reciept copy of the marriage license.that in my mind I did not think I was married when I sobered. Up.only to get the first women I ran into pregnant because I did nt think I could get a girl pregnant.because none of the others did. But that is my inventory.
That's a tricky one for me as well... If I don't put certain things for myself first (sobriety), I wont have anything to give to others (an empty vessel trying to pour out, if you will). However, my diease had me calling in all sorts of things for myself, often at the EXPENSE of others.
I don't know... perhaps it boils down to covering honest NEEDs vs WANTS, and the cost to others in the acquisition thereof. I am not so sure that selfish or not is a black and white thing, but more likely a wide range of shades of grey.
Love God above all things and love your neighbor as you do yourself!!!Moving from selfishness to selflessness is quite the journey powered by the God of my understanding!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
