... so after a good 4 day stint of being miserable, negative and feeling like giving up (as if that is a viable option)... I woke up this morning, and caught up on all the comments to my posts and read a bunch of your posts here.
Taking a few actions toward my sobriety for me:
1. Going to a meeting today at noon NO MATTER WHAT.
2. Googled and printed out a blank days of the week calendar. Going through my meeting book and putting any possible meetings that I could make on any given day on this calendar. Makes it one less step than opening the tiny little book and scrolling around for a meeting. ONE LESS EXCUSE TO NOT TRY TO GET TO A MEETING. I know my basic schedule so I'm narrowing it down to just the meetings I POSSIBLY can get to. Sometimes the task of just finding a meeting overwhelms me when I'm not in a good frame of mind.
3. During our lovely blizzard on Monday I started a binder of all my inspirational 'AA' stuff (I refer back to this and print out some things I read here, advice given to me, etc.; I kind of journal a little in one section of it... just a mish mash of 'stuff' that I want to hang on to and not 'forget'.
Being type A this is helpful to me. Puts all my recurring 'thoughts' (and possible strategies to cope with thime) in a neat package, since the AA mind seems to have amnesia regarding the bad that happens when we drink and makes the same mistakes, dumb rationalizations and 'insane' thoughts over and over again without a reminder of how it DIDN'T work out the last time we made the same mistake. (at least at the beginning... my hope and prayer is that it's not this way forever!)
4. Going to get to the gym to get out of my head right now and then hitting a noon meeting. My kids can wait until I've taken care of me today before I do anything else.
Good Morning J, Good to hear from you. The past few days sounds horrible and I've been there too. Those days just may be the stepping stones toward recovery of the mind, body and spirit. It's inspiring to see you taking action to get better. That's what we do. Whenever I'm off the beam, I throw the Program at it. The Program always pulls me through.
When I was in your shoes- or still can be at times- I go to a meeting, ask for help and then taking the suggestions of the Fellowship who have walked the path before me. My Sponsor is included in this. The Fellowship will carry us when we can't carry ourselves. I believe God works through people and will do for us what we can't do for ourselves. But, we must be willing to take action or do the footwork.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. we asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: The 12 Steps of AA.
Good for you!!! I heard it said, get busy living or get bust dying.
Here's something for you to think about: If three frogs are on a log, and one decides to jump. how many frogs are still on the log?
Reading the other post to you earlyer, what linbaba and rainspa wrote, were right on. I couldnt have said it better. There is a lot of up close and personal info there, I can tell. I been there myself. What ever you put infront of sobriaty, you will lose. If you got what I got, and you dont treat it with AA, your gonna die from it, and it is not a nice picture. Your new, your newly dry so every nerve is exposed, and you so full of fear, from every direction your head is spinnin and thats normal for where your at. But we asure you, if you do what we do in AA ( those of us that make it ) all that will go away and you will find the obsesson to drink will be lifted, your head will slow down, the spring in your gut will loosen, and you will become happily and usefully whole.
keep coming back, it works
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
Ok, I've never heard of anyone scrapbooking their way to sobriety, but it's got to be worth a shot.
Plans are good.
We've got one:
It is located in the first 164 pages of the big book.
Step 4 should provide some workbook time, and there are concordences, and book studies a plenty.
However the likelyhood of pinning down a spiritual experience, at home, alone, in a control journal...
In my experience I was told that what we need is help "with the skin on" ie, other people. To focus on others, and learn how to do the steps from them, and watch them grow and help them. In short a program of ACTION rather than documentation. Not that it's bad but if you want a drink....
I write lists almost every day, I do them with my upon awakening and when we retire at night, I write down helpful things I have read, I write down things I need to do, I write out thoughts and difficulties, I write out thought processes and the solution to them, and I enjoy crossing off things I have done
If that is scrapbooking our way to sobriety it can be done and it can be done successfully, my scrapbooking segued right into my fourth step, then into my subsequent steps, I not only admitted my faults I wrote them and their opposite down, I wrote an 8th step list, and I write for my tenth step list, all my copies of the big book are covered in notes in the margins and in the flyleafs
writing is good, having a plan is good, journaling is good
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Thanks cindy fpr putting that out there....and not just letting the thought cross thru your mind, like I did.
My understanding of this awesome AA Program, especially in Step 12, is that we always love, support and encourage any new member, withOUT judging.
Critical observations of any new person is just about the fastest way to see them do an "I'm outta here" ....feeling pretty sad to say that probably is what happened here today.
-- Edited by Just Toni on Thursday 30th of December 2010 08:56:48 PM
