How do I pick a sponsor?

momo31 · Member

How do I pick a sponsor?

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Momo,

Please relax

Finding a sponsor is not nearly as difficult as you are thinking it will be.

And yes, it is an important part of working the AA program and the steps.

Id suggest the next time you are at a mtg search out the phamplet titled Questions & Answers on sponsorship. Read the phamplet, you should find it very helpful.

If you cant find the phamplet, then at the next mtg you are at, ask the chairperson to make the topic about finding a sponsor, and hopefully the members at the mtg will share their experience, strength and hope about sponsoring and finding one as well.

Hang in there, it gets better , it really does.

Rainspa · Senior Member

There will be other people along shortly with good advise, but maybe I can clear up a few things:

The job of a sponsor is to help you do the 12 steps of AA.

The people in the meetings are for the most part a very, very specific group of people: Alcoholics that have recovered from alcoholism by working the 12 steps of AA.

They are not therapists or confessors.

What would be helpful is to find someone that has worked all 12 of the steps, in order, from the "Big Book" (nickname for the book "Alcoholics Anonymous. You can see the need for a nickname. Gets confusing).

So look for -same gender (unless you're gay, in that case reverse)
-has worked the 12 steps a) in order
b) from the book
-has been sober longer than you

You don't need to "click" or find a new best friend, and if your sponsor is good, you probably WON'T see eye to eye on a lot of things. That's OK.

A sponsor is there to teach you how to do the steps, and like all good teachers they will think differently than you, and know more than you.

It probably won't feel comfortable to ask someone to be your sponsor. Do it anyway.

Klaatu · Senior Member

#mce_temp_url#

That's a good place to start. There are lots and lots of posts on this forum concerning the same question. Do a key word search for "sponsor" and you'll get all the answers you ever need.

B.....

-- Edited by Klaatu on Sunday 19th of December 2010 11:56:09 PM

ABETTERWAY · Veteran Member

I'm glad to have this cleared up. I'm at that point too... looking for a sponsor... trying to understand the level of commitment (which appears to be every day!

This is hard for me... I hate picking up the phone. I need to change that.

Last week I had an appt. to meet with a sponsor at a coffee shop (a nice woman I'd met at my home meeting). She must have been sick because she didn't show up for our meeting or the meeting at the church afterward. Talk about discouraging...

The bottom line is that I know that it is essential that I find that person to work me through the steps and also through the moments when I want to give up.

Klaatu · Senior Member

I would suggest to you both that you find a person with the kind of sobriety you want and simply ask them. Nothing says you have to stay with the first, second, or even third one you pick. Find someone and ask. I'm always a little leery of the people who come up to you and ask if they can sponsor you. To me, that seems like more of an ego thing than anything else. Make sure the one you choose has worked the steps at least once (the more the better) and they have at least 1 year sober...but that can be sketchy. I'm told that when the student is ready, the teacher will come. Pray about it and trust that your HP has the perfect one already picked out for you. The hard part is learning to wait on his timing, but mine hasn't failed me yet.

B....