I have a tumor, that is right in the area next to my heart, next to my esophagus, and right lung...it carries many risks, of each of this vital organs...so it is fear of death, not from drinking, but of the radiation not honing into the microscopic area, this is a new tumor, stage 1, so I do have the option of doing nothing, but that would totally suck, wait for it to grow large enough to do the damage, and cause death at some time in the future.....
I am truly grateful for where I live, and the Medical oncology that is so amazing.....support groups, bright, loving doctors.....
What surprises me the most is my own fear....never thought I was fearful of dying....was reading Basirax Post, read it 3 or 4 times, and change the charaters in the play and I thought that is who I was, what a wake up call....humbled with gratitude as always for my sobriety and life that I do love.
Hopefully getting this up out of me, how scared I feel, just might have a calming effect.
You know why I had not posted this before??? my head said, no one wants to hear that grim story, Go figure.... still think like an alcoholic, I guess....
Love and hugs to all, and to anyone that has a Prayer to Spare, haha, should have titled my post that, "Got a Prayer to Spare"?
Hi Toni, I always have a prayer for you. I want to hear what is wrong with my friend, because I want to ask God to heal you or give you grace to overcome. On a personal note, whenever I am faced with an illness that I cannot get medicine to heal me I seek God's counsel from my Bible. I was diagnosed diabetic and the insulin would not normalise my sugar. I prayed and God directed me to a scripture: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2cor 12:9 Immediately I realised this truth, my sugar started to become normal. I am now on a low level tablet, with an even greater zest for life. I eat what I like. So let the doctor remove the tumour. God will do the healing. Trust Him. Do not be afraid.
Hello Toni I have been wondering how you were doing. The best part of alcoholism is that we really believe in our HP. In times like you are having right now, you know that ultimately your HP will never overload you with what you are unable to carry if you are following your path. The point is that: "I am with you alway, [even] unto the end of the world." means your HP will never forsake you and be with you through these tribulations. I know that sustains me quite a bit in tough times. I would also point out that I think the earnest prayers of people who have really come to know and believe in their HP have got to be a bit more powerful than someone who mouths the words "I'll pray for you" and then forgets you. The folks here on this board (you included) have been pretty close to Hell and back, and we are now praying for the Lord to take your tumor, take your pain, take your stress, anxiety, responsibilities, family dynamics, and anything else you can think of onto His shoulders during this time! You are a very wonderful and classy lady, and my wife and I are praying for you! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I will continually lift you up to the God of my understanding.Thanks for always sharing the "message of hope" and even with the "trials of Job" you continue reaching out.Stay snuggled in God's arms!!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
"Courage is fear that has said its prayers"...just some ESH from early days. Pray anyways is direction from Teresa so your name goes up on the top of the list. Appreciate you...Happy Thanksgiving.
Hi Toni, I am New here and just read this I will be praying for you too. Medically technology is so far advanced these days they can do so much. I am a LPN (licensed practical nurse) but I want to be an RN but I have to get sober first. But it is just amazing how far medical technology has come.
