My wife asked me a question at the dinner table tonight. In fact it was more like a statement. She said how come we both read the same article in the newspaper, but you get all worked up and I remain unmoved. I told her that's because I am an alcoholic. My emotions are always extreme. Alcoholism had changed me or rather my warped personality had made me an alcoholic. Even before I drank alcohol I was different from other people. I always felt like I never belonged. I was shy and introverted. I became a kleptomaniac. Alcohol became my friend, because it changed all that. Stopping drinking for me only made my emotions more sensitive. I had to find a power by which I could live a normal life again. I found that power in AA's 12 steps. To do the steps sober is not easy, because my old personality kept saying no to recovery. My sponsor kept encouraging me to continue working AA's 12 steps, until I could experience a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism. Continued work on steps 10, 11 and 12 has kept improving my personality and has given me extended periods of serenity and peace. Consistency has been the key.
Hey I feel like this sometimes too. All the time actually, why is it I cry every time in church and can be in tears after hearing a moving story? Or even in close to tears from a song, or someones share. I don't know either, but it always feels good. Maybe for so long the only time I cried was in self pity, but now I cry of happiness , joy and hope. Either way im an emotional rollercoster
