When one door closes, fortune will usually open another. -- Fernando De Rojas
Sometimes, especially in early recovery, we concentrate on our losses instead of our gains. We see a chapter in our life closing, and we mourn. We must leave some friends behind, or say good-bye to a social life we enjoyed. We must give up active addiction, which had become our best friend and only comfort. We may even have to leave our families, at least for a time, in order to concentrate on our own needs.
We need to grieve all these losses. Then we can see more clearly what recovery has brought us. For every loss, we've gained blessings. For every friend gone, we have the chance to make many more. A whole new sober life awaits us when we're ready to be part of it.
When we gave up the fake comforts of addiction, we found genuine comfort in sound sleep and healthy bodies, in peaceful days and serene nights. When we were ready to give up anger and resentment, we found generosity and forgiveness toward other people, and toward ourselves, too. In recovery, it's true, one door has closed. But another, better door has finally opened.
Today help me be grateful for my new life. Help me anew my losses so I can appreciate all that awaits me.
Yep, in early recovery I concentrated on what I had lost - home, family, good name, money, status, etc. and grieved for them big time.
As time passed and I learnt a bit, I saw that the things I had lost had to be lost to get me here.
As I worked the programme I could see how I had made these losses and what I could do to make amends to those I pushed away and harmed.
Now I count the other things I have lost as blessings - like, the obsession to drink like a normie - if I ever think about drinking, it's always to drink to black - and that's not a good life plan for me. I've lost the feeling of being less than and at the same time being more than - I'm me and that's all I need to be today - I've lost the agression, most of the arrogance, much of the judgementalism and some of the sarcasm - all this makes my life easier.
I've lost the night sweats, the broken sleep, the nausea, the vomiting, the ill health, the headaches, the 'loose bowels', the inappropriate behaviour (of almost all types - I won't pee in your garden anymore, but will sing and dance at the drop of a hat), the irresponsibility, the financial extravagance, the miserlyness, yep, you could say I've lost a lot!
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
