Ok Fessing up to a test that I did undergo yesterday, I was doing my reseach, I am a research junkie of sorts, and when I focused on "The Risk Factors" cancelled the test, thank goodness only in my head.....there was a risk of some stuff that could have been life threatening, and I do have a DNR in place.....strong believer in being my stongest advocate.....
But I tell you my sisters and brothers, I felt like I was at a round table Comittee meeting the night before, on one side sat all those fear based A.Hs, and on the other the ones I love, the ones argueing about the Faith, and what does that Faith represent.....it is there always, and MOSTLY when you need the feeling of God close by your side. Thank goodness the meeting adjouined in about 1 hour.....and I was shocked to see it back in action. Who called the meeting anyway, right, somewhere in me, there was a little fear that just snuck out and called the damn meeting, and I had to sit and watch the whole darn thing. I called the meeting to a close, did the Procedure, extremely uncomfortable, cause this Doc does not believe too much in Twilight Drugs, and today, feel good but very very exhausted......doing nothing but sitting on ass, and getting up to go into Kichen to stuff my face with a frig full of goodie foods that my precious Son arrived with, his surprise to me.
Ok, just wanted to say that I was sure that the comittee folks had gone in for retirement ages ago. but what a unwanted big surprise I got to see them....
Think I will say a Prayer to God to please keep them away from my house, and GOD thank you for being right by my side every second yesterday.....
This is just sort of a spoof funny post ....I suppose...
Awe. Toni, I am glad you did what you felt was right for you, at this moment. And just remember that your feelings about it may change down the road. There are lots of things that we decide against, and then later decide to go forward with, once we have processed it and overcome whatever it was that stood in the way.
Tests are designed to give us (and our doctors) information. The "information" is already there, it is just not available to us or them until we do something to dicover it (test). Some tests are indeed frightening, and downright dangerous. But we have to, over time, review the consequences of not getting the tests, with the potentially hazardous outcomes of taking them anyway. And whatever the information or "truth" is that needs to be discovered is, the truth of the situation already exists. It is our knowing about it (or a doctor's knowing about it) that is at stake. A lot of good things can come from knowing the truths that testing sometimes reveals. But like you said, you are not ready for the process itself. You do not like the unpleasant or even dangerous possibilities that are put in front of you regarding taking the test. But please remember these are possibilities, not facts or prophecies. And I do understand that only you can judge what is reasonable and what is not. You are in charge of your medical care, always have been since I've known you, and I admire you for being your own best advocate.
So I commend you for your decision, and hope that you can be peaceful about it in the coming days. Your serenity is #1. And whether you ever take this test is between you and your Higher Power, and I fully support what you and Him decide, together. I hope you have a very peaceful and serene rest of the week... it sounds like you deserve that!!!!
Love, Joni
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Hi Toni. I pray that God gives you strength to overcome. He is faithful to his children, no matter what we do or how we feel about Him. God's love for us is unconditional. I would have died without knowing I had diabetes. By a strange coincidence in which God chose to remain anonymous, I did a random check on my sugar level. My doctor immediately put me on insulin. Our Father in heaven has created every chemical and given skills to doctors to dispense wisely, but He is the Master. I find without my faith these chemicals don't work. Who can normalise my body except God? He controls everything and every circumstance for my good. Through my own experience, I have come to believe this as absolutely true. When I am afraid, I silently turn to Him and gently pray until I can feel Him come and hold me and reassure me that everything is OK.
Yeah, I keep searching the literature, but I can't seem to find that passage in the BB that says I will always be free of human doubt, emotions, the ability to weigh the pros and cons, the ability to know what I need to do and hate having to do it. Anybody know what page that's on? :)
