This was part of the topic for this mornings meetings and by listening I was caused
to remember how the amends process expanded as I listened, learned and practiced
our program.  I share with the group one of the amends perspectives that didn't seem
to be included with direct and indirect amends making and that is the amends where
I can help my victim heal from the ongoing pain and anxiety that maybe "they" caused
the event for which I am apologizing for and offering replayment (whatever kind).  It
was told me that at one time or another I would find victims who would have held
themselves responsible for my unacceptable behaviors and that while I seemed to
have released myself from it they would continue to carry it for years, never coming to
solution.  This for me was true when my HP revealed that there were drinking events
I had caused for which I had never settled and were fresh in the minds, hearts and
spirits of my victims.  20 and then 22 years after an alcoholic event I got to make
contact with a man and his father for who I had hurt.  When I told the father who was
calling his reply was, "Oh I know exactly who you are" and when I spoke with the son
his reply was "What in the hell did I do to you to warrant what happened?"  they had
lived with the pain for a long time and they agreed to meet with me where I explained
that they could not have been aware of what was going on in my life at that time and
that they were not at fault for what I did as a result.  Their courage and willingness to
let me come back into their lives was grace for me and the result being freed of the
blame, guilt and not knowing was grace for them.  They were grateful, I was grateful
and as a group we were grateful.   It was direct (face to face) and indirect my process
of cleaning house had been going on for a while and it was supportive in that they
could now make changes for themselves.

Simple program.....