Well I guess that's the other side of the coin. Again a medical test could determine I haven't had any alcohol in the past few days. And other medical tests would show that my body doesn't show damage from heavy drinking. But the quality and length of my sobriety are truly known by no one but me. And even I have doubts when I wake up from a drinking dream - and my drinking dreams are particularly devious because I don't dream that I just drank and relapsed, but that I've been drinking all along. When I wake up, I know I didn't drink but I have to think back to the "all along" part that the dream plants in my head every time, and know it's not real. I've come to recognize these dreams as part of who I am, and a constant reminder of WHAT I am.
No court of law would ever accept my testimony that I haven't had a drink of alcohol in over 21 years as fact. Nor would it accept testimony of my AA friends, including those who have known me that long. They didn't follow me everywhere I went, so they take my word that I'm sober.
This seems to frustrate the hell out of AA's critics because there are no hard, provable statistics. No attendance records. AA doesn't do pee tests or require any proof to give out a 1-day chip, or a 30-day chip. Or a 20 year coin. It's an honor system. How crazy is that - trusting a bunch of drunks to tell the truth about their non-drinking!
When I see an oldtimer with 44 years of sobriety, why do I believe him? Well that one is easy. For one thing, he is absolutely nothing like someone of his age that has been drinking all that time. I mean, nothing like it. And because I know that I have 21 years sober, I know it's possible to have 44 years sober by doing what I've been doing. That's all there is to it.
It seems pretty trite and simple to a newcomer. It's not very scientific. Is it subject to dishonesty? Yes, but not for long. Not really. A real alcoholic cannot pretend to be sober for very long. Alcohol will do what it does to alcoholics - it will dominate their life, and eventually make itself evident directly or indirectly. It may be possible for an alcoholic to control their drinking and conceal it to where they can pretend to be a sober member of AA for longer than a few weeks... but I haven't seen it. All these things we worry about - and for THIS alcoholic, I spent much of my life obsessed with trust - I wanted to know who I could trust, and I wanted people to trust me - it just doesn't seem as important anymore. If I hear whispers that so-and-so is lying about his sobriety... so what. He's fooling no one but himself, if it's true. He may still say something in a meeting that is of benefit to me. Working with other alcoholics is always valuable to me, whether they are drinking or sober.
So stuff like this does take care of itself, without scientific proof. And this is coming from someone who considers himself to be highly scientific... I love science, I love to know about things and how and why they work. I love to read about scientific studies of alcoholism. None of it changes what I have to do to stay sober today. I think that perhaps sometime in my lifetime, an effective cure for type II diabetes will be found - such that a person like me may never have to go on insulin (I'm not currently). This may change some things for me down the road as to what I can eat, what meds I take, what side effects I deal with. However if such a scientific cure for alcoholism is found, it will not change what I do to stay sober today. I like it too much. I tolerate vegetables instead of pasta, diet soda instead of sugar. But I do *love* AA and its way of life, and fellowship.
If we were dragged into court and accused of being an AA member would there be enough evidence to convict us ??
An attorney, me and God proved I was sober to a Judge a few years back in order to regain my drivers licence.
I can prove Im sober. I dont necessarily have to unless its called for. In the spirit of anonymity and tradition 12, its called being humble I believe ... principals before personalities.
I also recently had to go before the gun board to get my CCW permit. Of course my 2 drunk driving offenses were present before them . They asked questions. I told them I hadnt had a drink since my last drunk on my dos.
They said they believed me, cuz sober alcoholics know their sobriety date very well .
Wow, they grilled you at the DLAD huh. I think they asked me to recite the Serenity Prayer and did I know what step 7 was, lol. This hearing was after having the blow-n-go for a year. . After this hearing they still denied me full driving privelages , and thats when I hired an attorney and took it to circuit court with stacks and stacks of AA meeting sign in sheets, counsellor evaluations, letters from other AAers and non AAers, my Pastor, friends, family members, etc.
I had to prove I was sober. I'll never forget that day ... The Judge slammed his gavel down after hearing testimony and said " For Christs sake. Give this woman her drivers licence back, she has practically proved to be a poster child for AA".
I still have the determination that He signed saying that the DLAD decision was highly unwarranted. And that they were overstepping their authority to deny my privelages.
Getting my licence back is only 1 small piece of the pie compared to everything that I have gained from being sober
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