Ok Confession is good for the Soul so here goes, Yesterday, was my biological BD, no biggy ever. But yesterday when I was at a doc. office, this woman got bitchy with me for asking too many questions, that is how it started, then I got home and my Son that had plans with me, had to cancel, I did see him in the very late evening......when I was almost too tired to go out for dinner, but did go, and have not heard a peep from my other son, the one in Prison, that was sent to a Medical Facility, but they did not have room, so back he went to the main Prison he was in and in 23 hour solitary confinement...almost too unbearable to think about for over 30 seconds, let along write about it, and my health issues have returned to somewhat better, and have another med issue now, and caught myself all of the sudden this morning, I was so aware of how out of Gratitude I was and when I do not stop EVERY MORNING OF EVERY DAY TO THANK GOD FOR MY LIFE, AND AND ALL THE BLESSINGS HE HAS ALWAYS BESTOWED ON ME.....I GET WEIRD, AND OK, HAVE TO, (DONT WANT TO!!!! BRICKBRAIN HERE) i THINK I realized I have been feeling inside, sort of poor me, poor little Toni, and what does that equate to SELF FRIGGEN PITY.....I COULD BARELY BRING MYSELF TO PUT IN ON PAPER.....and then confess what the heck is going on in this alkies brain....I will cope to many character defects, but this one makes my sick to say....
Ok done with the self loathing around this, just Done, Done, Done, tee done done!!
Over and out, and getting up to find paper and pen for a long heart felt GRATITUDE TO GOD LIST....
lOVE AND HUGS TO MY FRIENDS. TONICAKES
-- Edited by Just Toni on Thursday 2nd of September 2010 07:06:04 PM
Love and hugs right back at you Toni!! I am grateful you are on this message board to help keep ME sober!! Happy belated Birthday and a blessed evening to you!!!
Hey Toni, Imagine all that only drunk? Now THAT would be yucky. Today is my BD and I spent it in my mancave trying to put a ski tower on a boat. I now have fiberglass particles all over me and that is even after a shower. It would seem we are both covered in yucky stuff! Happy BD! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
On the Chinese calendar must be the year of the ................... fill in as you wish, you did accomplish something, hope so.
And you have a boat....hum.....fiberglass all over body that does sound pretty "green slime family stuff" how does one get that off, with tiny tweezers????...on well we will get another next year with His Help....
And my dear son, wrote today and said, lets do this the right way on Sunday, Birthday BBQ, and a friend that I adore is coming too....just another day....
Happy Birthday, hope you are all, your wife, doing well today....
Toni, I am so grateful that you are here. You add value to my time here. Get some rest.
Tom, Happy Birthday! Never did understand water skiing. How is a guy supposed to fish when the damned boat is going that fast!? That IS what boats are for, y'know.
Happy Birthday Tonikins. If it makes you feel any better (which it probably won't), I totally forgot it was my kitty's 10th Birthday yesterday (you two share a birthday you know)... and mama did not even REMEMBER!!! How awful!!! So I am going to throw her a party too this weekend, like I always do, just me her the dog and my auntie.... but it just goes to show that in 10 friggin years of having my dear cat, I can still be as dumb as a box of rocks.
I hope you have a great time this weekend, and anything involviong barbecue sounds worth teh wait for me.
Birthdays are overrated anyway. Yes, it is great for us to live another year, but after 29, the buildup turns into a big let down most of the time, anyway. So I try not to build it up any more. (I will be 39 at the end of the month,,, and I know to most that is "young".... but UGH!!!!!! Midlife Crisis??????????????????????)
Love you
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
