Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Expectations of Others


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:
Expectations of Others
Permalink  
 


Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Expectations of Others

It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source.

It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling. There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given. It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.

It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.

The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discovering an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.

Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 449
Date:
Permalink  
 

What's the matter Larry. Is someone placing unreasonable demands on you?

Marc


__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 450
Date:
Permalink  
 

My sponsor tells me expectations are the start of a resentment. I'm starting to think he may have something there...

Brian

__________________

Ruadh gu brath



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 284
Date:
Permalink  
 

Reffner wrote:

My sponsor tells me expectations are the start of a resentment. I'm starting to think he may have something there...

Brian



I think that's VERY true.  Almost any time I've felt people have totally let me down, it's because I had these expectations for how they would behave. 

It works both ways, too--I've even had "anticipatory resentments" based on my expectation someone or something would let me down, only to find that they didn't!

-- Edited by Lexie on Sunday 29th of August 2010 05:05:53 PM

__________________
Lexie
   
~ one breath at a time


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 435
Date:
Permalink  
 

I too agree with this expectations are the forerunner to resentments...

for me I can't expect anything yet accept everything...

I look at it as being OK to plan things I just can't plan the outcome... if I do that I am setting myself up for resentments

__________________
"A busy mind is a sick mind.  A slow mind, is a healthy mind.  A still mind, is a divine mind." - Native American Centerness

Creating Dreams, from the nightmares of hell...


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 7
Date:
Permalink  
 

This was a great reading for me today :) Thanks for sharing!

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.