It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source.
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling. There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given. It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discovering an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.
Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.
My sponsor tells me expectations are the start of a resentment. I'm starting to think he may have something there...
Brian
I think that's VERY true. Almost any time I've felt people have totally let me down, it's because I had these expectations for how they would behave.
It works both ways, too--I've even had "anticipatory resentments" based on my expectation someone or something would let me down, only to find that they didn't!
-- Edited by Lexie on Sunday 29th of August 2010 05:05:53 PM