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Post Info TOPIC: Drinking guide for social drinkers?


MIP Old Timer

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Drinking guide for social drinkers?
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Drinking Guide"

SYMPTOM:  Feet cold and wet.

FAULT:  Glass being held at incorrect angle.

ACTION:  Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.



SYMPTOM:  Beer unusually pale and tasteless.

FAULT:  Glass empty.

ACTION:  Get someone to buy you another beer.



SYMPTOM:  Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

FAULT:  You have fallen over backward.

ACTION:  Have yourself lashed to bar.



SYMPTOM:  Mouth contains cigarette butts.

FAULT:  You have fallen forward.

ACTION:  See above.



SYMPTOM:  Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

FAULT:  Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part

of face.

ACTION:  Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.



SYMPTOM:  Feet warm and wet.

FAULT:  Improper bladder control.

ACTION:  Stand next to nearest dog, complain about her house training.



SYMPTOM:  Floor blurred.

FAULT:  You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

ACTION:  Get someone to buy you another beer.



SYMPTOM:  Floor moving.

FAULT:  You are being carried out.

ACTION:  Find out if you are being taken to another bar.



SYMPTOM:  Room seems unusually dark.

FAULT:  Bar has closed.

ACTION:  Confirm home address with bartender.



SYMPTOM:  Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and

textures.

FAULT:  Beer consumption has exceeded personal

limitations.

ACTION:  Cover mouth

      A.S.A.P.
Always Say A Prayer




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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..


Senior Member

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So true Phil, Not commentint as I've been there.


bad drink, rolloing round on the floor! never going there again!


Scary how bad is is!!!


Life has changed.


Bye for now,


Chris.



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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"


Senior Member

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hey phil thanks for the reminder . need them once and awhile

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Wagon


MIP Old Timer

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God Phil I must have been professional


I was never a social drinker


Drank for the buzzz



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Senior Member

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Posts: 483
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True one Rick, how about a guide for the Antisocial drinker, could be more appropriate!


I can add points, I'm sure everyone else here can too! ha ha. Isn't it great to be sober and not have to put up wit all that S**t!


 


Bye for now.


Chris.



__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
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