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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy
Post Info TOPIC: Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy
FlyingSquirrel


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Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy
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Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery?  God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time!

So my wife, from whom I'm separated (and divorce on hold), who cheated on me for 6 months before moving out and another 15 months after that (finally telling me a year after moving out) supposedly was finally done with the guy.  Again.  And she was 7 months sober, and hadn't seen him in 5 months. 

Then last night she decides to drink.  Does she drink at home?  No, she goes to the one place she knows he will be.  Then starts texting me saying she's going to kill herself.  I'm working, so I call her sister, who calls 911.  She ends up spending the night at his house.  Could very easily have gone to the restaurant next door and called me, but no.  Then today I tell her we're done and she wonders why.  And gives me the bullsh** line about how she still hopes someday we'll reconcile and we're soulmates.  I don't think I believe in the concept of soulmate anymore.  But I'm Charlie Brown, so who knows what I'll really do.

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Lexie


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Sorry, Glen,

Glad to hear YOU'RE still sober. It's very hard to stop wanting to believe in someone we once loved.

Hugs,

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Lexie
    ~ one breath at a time
Dave Harm


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FS,

Wow have I been there! A trip down memory lane. My first wife begged me to quit drinking and when I finally did, she went the other direction... from a stay at home mom... to a woman that never came home.

She rarely drank when I was drunk but when I sobered up she drank all the time. I think I could have handled it a bit better if it was only one man... but it was numerous ones... anyway I couldn't handle it anymore and went back to drinking.

As soon as I did that all her relationships ended as well as her drinking. She wanted me to quit drinking, but when I did she had no idea how to live with me... it was a new game with new rules and she didn't want to play...

So she sabotaged my recovery. The second time I sobered up, I didn't give her a chance for a repeat performance... I moved out and started to learn how to live life alone.

I did set some basic rules with her at that time. The first was that I wouldn't answer the phone after 8 PM... I didn't go to bed that early... but I also didn't want to get stressed out before bed... and the other was that I would hang up on her if she called me when she was drinking.

I was done with her games and I wasn't playing no more...

I had to draw that line in the sand or I would have got drunk again... and I am glad I did...

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"A busy mind is a sick mind.  A slow mind, is a healthy mind.  A still mind, is a divine mind." - Native American Centerness

Creating Dreams, from the nightmares of hell...
Toad


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Hi,
Through the pain I also feel the humor. Good Ol' Charlie Brown.
Seems like I needed a dose of Al Anon to help me understand my Co- dependency stuff.
Thank you for the post FS. Please don't hold my smile against me.
Recovery is defiantly an adventure.
It will work itself out how ever it does.
Ride on,
Toad

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turninggrey


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Hey Glen,
Sorry to hear the drama level is high for you right now. Just take a step back. The scenario you painted is very common. Keep focused on your sobriety. Keep it simple. She is your ex. Do I remember that you have kids as well? If so, it sounds like your stability is the only fixed thing they can count on. Good on you for calling 9-11 and letting professionals handle this. As Dave showed above, many times the long time drinking wife does not end up being your soulmate in the end.
Tom

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Wiley


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An unfaithful and unreliable ex-spouse repeats the behaviors and you told her you were done as a couple? Sounds like time for celebration, not lamentation. Ya done good: one down, 3 billion women to go.

;0)>

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Jerry F


MIP Old Timer

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Aloha Glenn...cunning, powerful and baffling all the way around...nothing but and this
IS the best description of our disease.  However we are all together to support each
other and help each other recover from alcoholism.   So I'll share that I am also a
member of the Al-Anon Family Groups (same 12 and 12...started by Bill and Bob's
spouses) and you can take a jaunt to the next page on the MIP site...Al-Anon and 
maybe haunt it for a bit or just jump in and tell your story and see what comes back
at you.   I know your story...had it before you did.  Sorry it still causes a ton of pain
and is survivable.   Keep coming back.  smile 

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pinkchip


MIP Old Timer

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I agree with wiley...you will feel like crap for a bit...but stick to your guns and move on...This whole sobriety thing is about you being happy, joyous, and free....be free to choose healthier relationships if you can. Also, remember Glen...you don't have to be the victim here....She is the one who is unstable and cant stay sober...not you.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy