The tropical rains are ceaseless...and when it stops the sun blistering... It's played havoc with my electronics...There is no such place as shangra-la...except in fiction. I have not exactly been on my game of late...so before you can fix a problem...it needs to be identified...therein lies the magic of both the 10th step and the fourth... For me, Its applied just like a test light to find the problem in an electrical circuit....What I identified was some very dangerous conduct..some obsessive compulsive behavior..the preliminary probing was in the 10th step...the identification...or the exact nature was to be found and identified in the fourth...the admission...the nature of my wrong...obsessive compulsie behavior... the 5th step as expressed...the particulars unimportant...the pattern of behavior important. The continuance might have lead to destructive consequences..in the recognition that sobriety is contingent on my spiritual state...but i've been sober many years over 36 years now...nevertheless, the words of Jack B..36 years ago still ring in my ears.. be constantly vigilent of your sobriety.
Like any problem on the way to resolution.. I feel much better...more spiritually fit and enlightened..and passing on a bit of my experience for the sake of others..buys me another day of sobriety and fulfills a part of my primary purpose..as stated in the preamble...If you just don't drink and use the steps you become just a bit stronger.
I don't allow anything in AA to become controversial...argumentative or critical anymore....the only point of value of my remarks is that it is my respective experience...and someone just might identify..or keep it locked in their mind...when things don't seem to be going right...
My meetings with others are few and far between if any...but Ive managed quite well to adapt to my circumstances...which I certainly would not trade..
This messaging by the way comes from my boat anchored in the bay..thanks to a wireless connection and a long range adapter...Ive gotten pretty good in handling the tools at my disposal..both spiritual and physical ...LOL
To me the essence of the 12th step is...don't critisize and don't complain...take action...for me that's obedience to God's will..
Tomas, Thank you for checking in. I like your message on constant vigilance and the maintenance of your spiritual condition. It's important to me to hear/read folks with long term sobriety conveying that message regardless of time sober. It's a reminder we can all use.
Aha OCD/ADHD...Alcoholism. The first two having to do with a lack of discipline which contributed to over whelming boredom which was cured by doing the easiest and most natural behavior which was innate to me...Drink, don't plan, make promises for tomorrow and hope I wouldn't be called on to contribute to anything other than drink again. The solution of course as I have come to understand it and learn it and practice it is a power greater than booze and my ego and pride and then a plan to practice a discipline which I can see that works for others by others...12 steps, 12 traditions, 12 concepts, slogans and of course the meeting/class rooms I can sit in and listen to the teachers as they arrive. Some have boats...I like boats; boats without sails and huge engines and horse power availabilities which affirm my pride and ego and need for power...higher power but power I can control. Gotta have more power than that in control, greater than me or I'm in that condition again...Oppositional and Confidantly Defiant. I will not recover unless I get humble. (Donna L., 1984 convention said to me personally a gift from her sponsor...directed by God). Grateful for the direction.
