Hey I know its been awhile since I posted here. Things were going pretty well for me up until about two weeks ago. I've just been really struggling. I got a full times job with benifits only to get let go for not being able to pass a test. This really struck a cord with me. I worked so hard and asked questions yet still failed. It made me feel like something is wrong with me. Luckily I still kept my part time job at a hotel. I have been working the front desk there for a year and recently switched to breakfest because we have been having a hard time finding someone to work with. I had my boss say he wanted to be a food and beverage supervisor if I agreed to work breakfast full time. Today he said he wants to wait another month or two before giving me the raise and promotion. Part of the reason I agreed to work breakfast was because of the promotion. Makes me feel like he is taking advantage of my niceness. I am really frustrated and have been dying to drink the past few days. I haven't given in but could really use thoughts and support.
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You have to live life to the fullest because you don't know what you got till it's gone.
taking tests is not easy. There are a lot of reasons people don't score well on different exams. Perhaps it was the content or the format of the test you had trouble with. If it's a field you really want to work in I would get to work improving my knowledge and test taking skills in that area. If not then you weren't in the right job anyway and don't worry about it there are other just take a jobs out there.
Did you ask your boss the reasons behind his wanting to wait a month? I would try and close that gap so you understand what is going on and proper expectations can be set. If they want something more from you performance wise you have a right to know what it is so you can choose to provide it or not. Maybe they just want to wait a month to create a new position for budgetary reasons. Just communicate with your boss. You don't have to tell him your feelings about the whole thing even just show interest and make sure you know what playing field you are on.
As far as the drinking goes...where is that going to get you?
-- Edited by typ0 on Tuesday 17th of August 2010 07:02:13 PM
Sorry for the disappointments. I've had a few recently in my own career, and I'm not doing exactly what I want to be doing right now, either.
Still, I think there are things I can learn from what I am doing right now--I think the experience is exposing me to some things I need to look at in myself.
Have you talked with people (besides us, I mean) about how you are feeling like drinking over this? Do you have a sponsor? If not, you must have some phone numbers?
There is no situation so bad that a drink won't make it worse. Go to a meeting, call someone, pray/meditate. The serenity prayer can be very helpful in situations like this. You can't change your work situation immediately, but you can ask for clarity on what to do next.
Yup ,sometimes life just don't work to our expectations or people let us down.Just don't drink! For us to drink is to die and not just physically but mentally and spiritually.I would also suggest getting around people in recovery in and out of the rooms.Hopefully you have a sponsor and a Big Book!Keep sharing your feelings here and with your support and you can work this out and remain sober...Let us know how its going..........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Not sure how long you have sober now brother, but remember to keep the faith. You're aware that booze only helps TEMPORARILY and then starts the (ahem) death spiral. You're strong enough. Trust your higher power.
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
"Dying for a drink sounds sooo appropriate and you loose the job and promise of better too." Cunning, powerful and Baffling in the extreme. I'm glad I learned that there are alternatives to drinking and no law that says I just gotta drink because..... There are sooo many alternatives that after I go thru the list of them I don't wanna drink again. Besides the list keeps growing. We alkies can take about any situation turn it into chaotic display and hope it is justification enough for any chance at a shot.
THIS IS THE TEST...THIS IS ONLY A TEST. The other test isn't as important as this one. Also in support anytime. ((((hugs))))
Just reminded me that one of our local fellows fell out of the wagon and is now in a cell under a half mil bail. Don't think he had that in mind but reality is a bear after the dust settles. What ever his justification was I don't suppose that he will look back at all that he went thru as good enough for the relapse and a long prison sentence and it will be long. Cops hate to be assaulted with moving vehicles. He drew it out to a major "catch me if you can" and ended up with his car split in two and the front part of it pining him to the ground to assist arriving officers. Of course nothing hurt him as bad as he will hurt coming up. Our institutions and jails service people know him personally so there will not be ackward introductions when they get there tonight. I will never forget the Chinese proverb, "First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man." Of course that doesn't become reality if the man doesn't take the first drink. Go to a meeting and share. Jerry F
-- Edited by Jerry F on Tuesday 17th of August 2010 11:19:29 PM
"Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain perfect adherence......." The best we could is try. So welcome to the imperfect world of recovery.
KKotz, Hope things improve for you. This to shall pass. What's your program look like? Meetings, Sponsor, Steps..........
When I'm confronted with issues and my life heads toward unmanagability, I throw the program at it. More meetings, more calls and more 10, 11, & 12 work. That usually straightens things out. Go to a meeting today and ask for help.
That there is opposition in all things, that there is no growth with out opposition. As one starts to grow spiritually, mentally and even physically there will be forces to oppose that growth i.e.a butterfly struggles to free it self from its chrysalis. That struggle -that opposition- strengthens the wings of the butterfly which allows it to majestically take flight. If you circumvented the process and freed the butterfly, it would fall to the ground unable to fly and eventually die.
As you begin to struggle and free yourself from the demons of addiction, things will inevitably happen; opportunities to drink, drug or use will catch you when you are the most vulnerable and accessible. A bottle you had hidden and forgotten about. You are on a business trip where you are all alone. A packet of powder pops out of a dark space. There may be an alluring seduction from the opposite sex, with your favorite flavor of addiction in tow. All these and more will try your resolve. They usually will occur during periods of great stress and uncertainty; it will happen. The more you grow spiritually, the more likely it will happen; take warning! No matter what, dont drink!
