Background:

My wife and I have been separated for two years now, but we still love each other and communicate daily.  We are both in the program.

We are both singers, and love music.  We met in a bar singing karaoke.  One song she likes, "It's Too Late" by Carly Simon, has some lyrics that took on a humorous new meaning for her in her childhood.  The lyrics go, "It's too late baby, now it's too late, though we really did try to make it... Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it."  When she was a little girl, she called this song the "dead bug song" because she thought the words referred to bugs who had died in light fixtures.

She can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of people who know this about her, and I'm one of them.

So, fast forward to the present.  Before we separated, while we were both still drinking, she had an affair.  About a year after we separated, she finally confessed this affair to me, and it went on after that confession for probably another six months.  She now says that it is over, and though there is every reason why I should doubt her, she is now six months sober and it's possible; call me crazy but I do in fact believe it.  That really doesn't have much to do with this story except for the fact that she became pregnant as a result.  Since I have had a vasectomy, there was no question as to who the father was.  She broke up with him based on his reaction to the fact that she was pregnant.

I told her that the question of whether she and I would ever get back together again was completely independent of this pregnancy, and that I did not wish for her to get an abortion on my account.  However, at a certain point she decided to go through with it.  It was a difficult decision for her, I'm sure, and it was her second abortion since our separation (the first one is a completely different story in itself).

So anyway, there we are in the clinic, and at the exact moment of the actual procedure, what song do you think comes on the radio?  You guessed it, the song that has a certain meaning only for the two of us, which before was a humorous meaning, but in this instance it of course took on a completely different meaning.  And I was there for her in the room, so I was able to instantly understand this new meaning and how it made her feel.

It was almost as if God were gently grieving the passing of one of his children, whom he already knew; and at the same time giving another gentle message to my wife.  At least that's how she took it, because afterward she said it was like he was saying, "enough of this, it's time for you to stop this nonsense you're doing."

Anyway, like I said, I still struggle with the concept of God, and still prefer to believe in coincidence - but sometimes, it's really hard to maintain this belief; and this was one of those times.  For that particular song to come on the radio in that particular room at that particular time, regardless of what the interpretation of its meaning should be --well it's still somewhat amazing to me.