Hey, all, I recently realized I was an alcoholic. Been sober 16 days now. Been to 7 meetings so far. Plan to keep going every day. I have been going to different meetings to check out the different locations, people, and types of meetings (study, opens discussion, etc.). I figured it was a good idea to check out several meetings before picking one to become a regular at. Once I find my favorite one, I plan to make it my home group and then ask for a sponsor. Does this plan make sense? How long should I be going to meetings before I should ask for a sponsor?
Here is another concern of mine - I never bottomed out. At the meetings I go to I hear the stories of recovering alcoholics' experiences with alcohol. They are all worse than mine. I crave alcohol, and I drink to get drunk - but I never drank in the mornings or lost a job, etc. (Yet... I know.) My fear is that if I wait too long before actively engaging the AA program, I will start to feel strong again - in control of that liquor - a recipe for trouble. I WANT their stories to stay worse than mine. Am I exaggerating the risk in my mind, or is this a real concern?
Sounds to me like youre doing all the right things for you my freind.
And youve climbed off the garbage truck before you went all the way to the dump.:)
Sponsor? Just my opinion only, but Ide try to get one as soon as possible--even as a temporary sponsor, until such times you chose someone on a more long term basis.
I remember asking someone if they would be a temp sponsor, when I first started--and had no problem whatsoever. Then--when I found a more long term sponsor, I actually used them both.:)
Today-I have one main sponsor, and quite a few temp sponsors. I need them all.:)
Even this AA board and all the people on it are an AA life line.
Keep up the good work our freind--One day at a time.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Welcome to the board, and to recovery. You are beginning a journey that can change your whole outlook on life.
We say to people that haven't gone to the extremes that some of us do before coming in that they looked down through the glass floor of the elevator and saw the bottom that they might reach, but chose to get off before they hit. It is never too early or too late to begin sobriety.
I always tell newcomers to get a sponsor asap...it is so important to start working the steps right away. Look for someone who has what you want and ask them how they got it.
Welcome to MIP! Everyone's story is different, if you think you are an alcoholic, you probably are. I have seen alot of people come into the program who have not lost it all or are just in the beginning stages and the program has worked for them and they are a great asset to the group. The sooner we find recovery, the sooner we can begin to live life on lifes terms.
As already stated, get a sponsor, temp, if neccesary, and go for it. You will not regret working this program.
My name is Jennifer, and I'm an alcoholic. Today is day 33 of sobriety for me. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I thought I'd never actually "hit bottom". I've never been to jail, I have a decent home, car, etc, I have a career, I'm a single mom, my house is clean, my child is taken care of, my bills are always paid, I didn't drink in the mornings, I didn't drink everyday - drank about 2-3 times a week, and boy did I make up for the days I missed. So, I understand where you're coming from when you listen to others and their "story" is much worse than yours (in all honesty and SHAME, I liked it that way also, I thought "it helps me to not drink today") - but now, when I listen to those stories my thought is "but for the grace of God, go I". It was only a matter of time for me. I realized if I continued to drink, I could VERY EASILY become that "unemployed, homeless, jailbird" who lost her children, her job, her home, her freedom and sooner or later her life...... My bottom was the realization that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I am an alcoholic.
As for getting a sponsor, here's what was told to me. Find the meetings that you like, and get to everyone you can, watch and listen, you want to chose someone who has what you want. It was recommended to me to do 90 meetings in 90 days, if possible. Someone also said, for each meeting I go to, put a dollar in a jar at home, and at the end of 90 days, if I don't feel better, got anything out of it, or it's not for me, well, then I can get a "refund" of that $90.
Stick around this board. Read the posts. There are some awesome folks here that have wisdom beyond belief. They have been my saving grace when I could not get to a f2f meeting. and I have bounced things off them when I do not want to bring it up in a f2f yet.
Again, Chip, welcome to what I have found to be a wonderful new world.
Thanks Jennifer. Your story seems the most similar to mine of all the ones I 've heard so far. I was drinking 4-5 days a week. Sometimes 2, sometimes 6. I only drank in the evenings, fastidiously waiting until at least 5:00 p.m. Many days I would not start until later, as there was something to do that required sobriety - like drive my kids to scouts, etc. Those days I would start at 8:00 or 9:00, or whatever was necessary. But once it was time to drink - IT WAS TIME TO DRINK. 14 - 18 drinks later, and I usually made it to bed. But some mornings I would wake up on the couch, or the floor, or in the guest bedroom.
I have tried very hard to quit for my weight and health for about a year. Today is day 17 - the longest I have gone without a drink in that year. Probably in 2 years.
I am an alcoholic. I cannot have 1 drink. With 1 drink in me the compulsion to drink more overpowers me. My path is clear. I am glad I do not have to make the journey alone.
the saying " 1 drink is too many, and 100 is not enough" holds true for me also, as does everyone. See, you're not alone.
I have found connections (stories being similar) with some more than others and that helps me a lot, so Feel free to PM me if you like, I will always respond.
Keep coming back, it really does for if you work it.
Your saying “I recently realized I was an alcoholic” has caught my attention. Had someone been talking with you about that possibility? In my own case, I had occasionally seen various charts on the walls with questions about my drinking and so on, but I sensed I had some kind of problem that was bigger than those mere symptoms. In other words, none of those charts ever asked any questions about the overall mess and emptiness inside me and the fact that I was completely dependent upon alcohol – nothing else ever worked as well for me – to make those problems go away for at least for a little while.
Beyond all of that however, I had a parallel problem with “over-solving”. No matter how good or bad I might have been feeling in any sober moment, I knew a few drinks could always make me feel better ... yet having “just a few” had become completely impossible. I desperately “needed” the effect of “just a few”, but those “just a few” always seemed to demand even more ... and off I would go on yet another drunk I had neither intended nor wanted to have.
Finally coming up with a desire to stop drinking forever was very difficult for me, for I had no idea how I could survive *without* the alcohol that I knew would nevertheless eventually kill me if I continued to drink it in order *to* survive. In other words, I could neither live with it nor without it – I was trapped, doomed, helpless, powerless ...
Has your own experience been similar, or have you seen any of those kinds of signs along the way so far?
Lee (10-22-82)
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"When a few men in this city have found themselves, and have discovered the joy of helping others to face life again, there will be no stopping until everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover - if he can and will" (page 164).
My recent realization that I was an alcoholic stems from coming to understand what the definition of alcoholism is. I knew I had a drinking problem. But 'alcoholics' - those were the guys who drank EVERY day, who drank in the mornings, who lost their jobs and families because they drank. I didn't do any of that, so I thought I was NOT an alcoholic.
When I came to understand that alcoholism is an obsession to take a drink followed by a compulsion to continue - I knew that was what my problem was. I am incapable of drinking like a normal person. I drink to be drunk. I do this too often. It became unmanageable.
I haven't really sifted through any of the finer points of my character flaws yet. But, the time will come, I am sure of it.
