cheri,

im doing great tonite, the serenity prayer saved my day today.if you dont mind i'd like to vent about today.

my fiance and i wanted to start a new life in a warm climate. being from chicago the winters can be fierce. our children are grown so we figured , why not?

we had a few choices and settled to be with his family in louisana.his sister more or less promised us a bed of roses.it has become nothing but a nightmare. i left behind my 2 grown sons, and 5 brothers and 4 sisters. my sister donna is my best friend, and i miss her dearly.

i have entered into a world of vicious women who have backstabbed to the point that relationships have ended.

doug(my fiance) recieved a letter informing him that he has been disowned by his sister(bed of roses mama).

dougs father bought us her home and she moved into another,that he helped by for her. MONEY AND FAMILY DO NOT MIX, TOO MUCH JEALOUSLY!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS SHE GAVE US A 3 DAY NOTICE TO PAY OFF HER POOL SHE LEFT.WE DID NOT MEET HER DEADLINE,TODAY THE POOL WAS HAULED AWAY. I AM 9 MILES FROM THE NEAREST GAS STATION, NO CAR AVAILABLE TO ME DURNING THE DAY, NO FRIENDS, AND THE ONE THING I DID LOOK FORWARD TO OUT HERE IN GODS COUNTRY WAS THE POOL.

WITH THE HEAT INDEX IT WAS BETWEEN 105 AND 110 TODAY. SUCH A SPITEFULL THING TO DO. I MAY BE WITHOUT A POOL BUT SHE WILL ALWAYS BE AN ASS-HOLE.

THIS WAS LIKE THE ICING ON THE CAKE AFTER ALL THE CRAP WE HAVE PUT UP WITH..

THE DEVIL WAS ON ONE SHOULDER SAYING "SCREW IT HAVE A BEER" THE ANGEL ON THE OTHER SHOULDER WAS SAYING "DONT DO IT " DONT DO IT  SHE'S NOT WORTH IT"

THANK YOU  GOD, I HAD THE STRENGHT TO NOT LET HER GET THE BEST OF ME. IT WAS HARD , THE BEER WAS IN THE FRIDGE.AFTER 14 MONTHS OF UNHAPPINESS HERE IN LA, THESE PAST 8 DAYS SOBER HAVE BEEN THE HAPPIEST. MY MIND IS CLEAR, I FEEL SOME PEACE,AND THE LOVE OF MY GOD.

one of my pleasures in life used to be reading.my son is a school teacher and has recomended numerous books for me to read. on mothers day he mailed me his latest favorite. i tried a few times to read it with no interest what so ever. after coming to the aa sites,(this one my favorite).im finally reading again, started that book my son sent me. God works in mysterious ways ( as i was always told as a child).

i have become so bitter and hatefull for so long in this situation i find myself in. being sober has brought me so much peace. no- one is going to take it away from me

in these past i4 months i have survived heart surgery,(docs said they got to me just in time) going for mri (docs think i have a slipped disk) ive been walking around with pain for 2 years,finally taking care of it.

i"m still around at the age of 46 for a reason. its to finally enjoy life i believe, no-body no matter how hard they try are going to run us off. doug will be walking away from his inheritance(just what miss rose garden wants).

i am embaressed to admit that i vented on the aa site i just left before finding this one. the site is like "peyton place". no lie. i would sit back read the messages that were so slanderous, and never voice my feelings. after 2 weeks of this i finally jumped in with my thoughts. i made some enemys, and have been going back to the site for more of less entertainment.

is there a morale to my story, probally a few. im just sorta stumbling thru. i havent seriously started the 12 steps yet. but i am headed in the right dirrection. i can feel it in my soul. my soul has ached for so long, it has had me doubled over in pain. i just dont want to ever go back to that lonley place.

boy do i feel better. i truly know there are people out there that care. dougs family are all alcholics, like my-self, and i"ll be damned if they are going to keep me down where they are.

thanks for all the support

nancy jo

ps. hope i did not put anyone to sleep.something that hasnt come easy these past few days