Well, I've had a nice stretch of sobriety and recovery. Peace and serenity. I continue to work the program but my diesase is active. My diesase has found a new obession, baseball. I help coach my sons All Star team and this has become the biggest thing in my life. Not good I know, but my sickness has found something to worry about. Like I have any control over the games they play and how important is it? Rationally, I know it's foolish, stinking thinking, but the sickness has a good grip. I prayed this morning to have the obession lifting and surrendered my day to God. I talked with my sponsor last night and went to a meeting. Today, better- but my head is still cluttered and foggy. The aftermath of a couple of rough days. I'm of no use to anyone when my head is in this spot. Talk about self-centeredness. Any E,S & H would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
As Coach Vince Lombardi (I'm a Redskins fan remember lol) said, "Winning isn't everything, It's the Only thing!". Opps, wrong topic Really Mike, the boys are in it for the fun, winning is a bonus. Baseball is a team sport that has an opportunity for individual contribution that can greatly affect the outcome, unlike football, anyone on the team can score. Surely your sons can have a great game and the team could still lose or the other team can have a fantastic game. You're powerless once the game starts, all the coaching you did will just have to be recalled in real time by the players. Turn it over, sit back, and enjoy the game from the best seat in the house.
relationships video game computers internet sculpting work drama even meetings and socializing
you name it I've chased it
Sometimes I've rode it until the end, sometimes I've kicked it early, sometimes I've decided it beat the alternative, moderation in all things doesn't come easy for me
The funny thing is when sharing about it the best "advice" I get about it, rather then ESH is someone totally addicted to something like meetings or a relationship, 2 minutes of advice and 20 minutes of them and their new addiction lol
edit: I agree with Dean, put your all into it then let go once they sing the National Anthem and enjoy
-- Edited by AGO on Tuesday 29th of June 2010 09:36:59 AM
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Hi Mike, Are you uncomfortable? Are you at a loss? (Yes) That means you are ready to pay attention to your HP, and you are. What a great learning experience you are going through!! you recognized what is going on in your life. The fog could lift if you forget the game, forget win and lose and concentrate on the individuals on your team. Praying for each member of your team, asking your HP for guidance in being the best coach you can be... Make your HP the Head Coach and you are between Him and the kids. They are all your little brothers (and sisters) learning how to be good winners and good losers. Learning how to have fun as a team, learning team values. Not how to become a star. This is a test with no pass or fail involved, it is the chance to exercise humility. you are turning this situation over to The One Who is with you always, the One Who keeps you sober. By working with the team you are getting out of your own head, you are doing this for the kids, not to be a winner but an example. you are not doing this to put yourself in a spotlight, you are doing this community service because your HP has put you there. Good job. hopefully i did not offend you, brother. I meant this as an encouragement. jj
Hey Mike .I remember when my son at 12 was on little league and how both his mother and I would get all torqued out at games,He didnt play enough,was a lefty,shoulda been playing him in a different spot,coach was partial to other players,.Like we were living our lives thru him.They won ,we were all good,they lost we were more depressed then the team..I remember when my son finally told me "he says you know dad ,I dont really like baseball that much..Could I be that blind ,oh yeah!I had to surrender to the idea that my son had his own interests,just cause I was a martial artist,a musician and athelete etc didnt mean that everyone else had to be.especially my kids..I learned a lot thru those couple years,how even in recovery my obvious obsessions and compulsions were still alive and well.Another learning lesson.,that continues in this saga of life for me..Each day sober ,I ,with the help of my HP ,step back ,take a look before my engine starts revving up...some days better than others but always in a sober(not necessarily sane) frame of mind..peace to you.......
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Really Mike, the boys are in it for the fun, winning is a bonus. Baseball is a team sport that has an opportunity for individual contribution that can greatly affect the outcome, unlike football, anyone on the team can score. Surely your sons can have a great game and the team could still lose or the other team can have a fantastic game. You're powerless once the game starts, all the coaching you did will just have to be recalled in real time by the players. Turn it over, sit back, and enjoy the game from the best seat in the house. 