How we think about ourselves has an impact on what we do. If we decide that we are less of a person because we have an illness, then we may not fulfill our potential. If we decide our illness will consume our every thought and action for the rest of our lives, then it probably will. If we decide that we will always be a victim and our life will bring us nothing but misfortune, then our life may just turn out that way.
On the other hand, if we begin to believe positive things about ourselves, eventually our outlook on life will become positive as well. When we believe that we are lovable, that we can cope with our illness, and that we are no less of a person because of it, then this is what shall be. We can change who we are by changing who we believe ourselves to be.
Today, do I remind myself of my abilities, my choices, and my opportunities?
Thought for the Day
My attitude and perspective can make life more positive and joyful.
very appropriate, Larry. i was a victim for sooooooo long. the idea that i had a choice was beyond me. drinking was the first thought in the morning the last thought at night before passing out. i let myself be a victim because i could not set boundaries or take care of myself. i was a hostage of the bottle and could not see it until i was willing to see it, admit it, ask God for help, and became willing to align my will with His will for my life. this program calls for action, not wishing. Good things are happening in my life now that i am working this 12 step program. (progress, not perfection, but perfection is the flag i fight for, one day at a time.)
I remember my alcoholic uncle frequently saying, "Everything I touch turns to sh*t". I also remember, it always did seem that way. He always managed to make top positions in every job he took...his drinking would always get in the way and because people liked him and women loved him they covered for him... along with grandma and momma. He finally lost everything several times. Wives,cars,jobs,homes, etc.
He went to treatment 3 times for his wives usually. When we went to get him from treatment he never made it out of Knoxville, before making us stop at the liquor store. It sickened all of us.
In the end he lived with grandma,had no car,had the seediest of friends,no money and was completely dependent upon grandma for money and momma to bring him his daily ration of alcohol. He died alone in North Carolina,while visiting his son there. A bottle of pills was found strewn around his body,where he fell (at age 49.)
At his funeral there were so many women crying, that grandma and momma didn't know some of them. One woman mom didn't know was crying and told mom "He was my first love." Three wives were there too crying.
This man had so much and pissed it all away right down to his life. If only he could have gotten sober and saw his potential, but he chose to be a victim.
Interesting perspective. Oddly enough I've never thought of my alcoholism as a limitation or something that makes me less of a person. However, I *did* think of myself as a lesser person because I came from an alcoholic home with divorced parents, my father died when I was a teenager, and in general my family, my teachers, and even my shrink told me my life was FU, all the while encouraging me to take a conventional path to success. Perhaps because of this believe that I was screwed - my own personality and upbringing and genetics kept me from succeeding at normal things like school, etc. I pursued an unconventional career with very limited schooling and a cocky attitude. I was successful and it fit hand in hand with my drinking.
It was only after I admitted I was an alcoholic, that I began to look at all of my character defects as being part of the whole alcoholism picture, even if most of them existed long before I took my first drink. My environment caused me to label myself as FU, and that label led me to drink and stray farther from the beaten path. When I got sober, I welcomed the diagnosis of alcoholism, because I was beginning to realize that it didn't just describe my drinking, but ME.
I'm 52 years old. I drank for 13 years - only 1/4 of my life. Drinking affected me 25% of my life; alcoholism has affected me 100% of my life.
So I guess you could say yes, my disease made me think of myself as less of a person - but only until I did acknowledge that I had the disease, that it was a common disease, and that made me feel more normal than I've ever felt in my life. Alcoholism is the disease that tells you you don't have it - so you're left puzzling endlessly, "What the hell is wrong with me then???" When I got my answer, it was a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. To find that this program of recovery for alcoholics wouldn't just enable me to stop drinking, but to begin a whole new way of life.
I was reading about this yesterday by a book written by a psychriatrist, how thoughts are "real" and how each thought releases a chemical in your body that causes a literal reaction, he used the lie detector as an example, when you lie your heart rate goes up, your palms sweat, you release fight or flight endorphins, when you are angry your stomach tenses, your heart rate goes up etc etc
So thoughts are "real" and I have to try to "be mindful of the positive young padawan" but for alcoholics, they are also delusional fantasy, and that hit home for me when I read the line
" I used to judge myself by my intentions while everyone else was judging me by my actions"
It's when I get my intentions to line up with my actions and have those be good ones, that my will is aligned with God's will on many levels, and that takes actions, not thoughts
I can act myself into right thinking but I can't think myself into right action, not on a fundamental level, I couldn't "will" or think myself sober, I had to take action, and sobriety was the result
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I drank for so long I forgot what I was like sober and that was scarey, when I finally realized what I was like I didn't like it then I remembered I drank to try and be something else. Now after some time I now know it's OK to be me, warts and all. I still have to work on my charcter defects but overall it's good being me. Just like when I was drinking some people liked me some didn't. I just got busy living instead of staying busy killing myself. GOD plays an important and major part and all I have to do is ask for guidance.
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The smallest of good deeds is greater than the best of intentions.
Anonymous
