Wow, went to a women's meeting tonight, and about 30 women there, discussion format, and I loved every moment of it. I am going to make it a second homegroup. I know it is where I truly "belong".
((((hugs))))
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Great to hear Joni!!! I put off going to a womens meeting I had heard about and really liked it when I went. Just a different vibe. Just felt like It was a bit easier to express myself because women just understand some things men dont. Dont get me wrong some of my strongest advisors are men. So anyways it just makes for good balance. So glad you found a group where you belong
Great Joni! I also attend MENS ONLY GROUP,things we probably wouldnt share with woman present,at almost 63 years young ,I at times finding myself blushing......Good for you,nothing like wanting to be a part and looking forward to going..Jump right in//peace
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well, I think the content is probably pretty much the same in Mens/Womens, but the "chemistry" is different when we are with "our own sex", and that "unneeded" chemistry is NOT present, which is the important thing....
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
well, I think the content is probably pretty much the same in Mens/Womens, but the "chemistry" is different when we are with "our own sex", and that "unneeded" chemistry is NOT present, which is the important thing....
I totally agree! I love my women's group, I wish it met more than just one day a week! The meeting just has a different "feel" to it...
It was funny though, just like attending other "mixed" meetings, you have to see which "same sexed" meetings make you feel most comfortable...I was excited to attend another women's meeting in my area and when I got there, the women were not nearly as friendly and they bickered about the "rules" of how the meeting should be run, what we could talk about...I didnt like it one bit!
My home group as a few women regulars, but every now and then none of them show up and it's all men. But it doesn't really have the chemistry of a "men's group". So what do men talk about in a men-only AA meeting, that is designated men-only?
What do you think they talk about?
I've only gone to a few. Interesting and different experience. But then so was Late Night Hollywood. I wouldn't make it a home group or even a regular thing, but I'm glad I did it and I'll do it again should the opportunity coincide with willingness.
Having observed the behavior of AAs toward the "new girl" I can certainly understand the appeal of an all-women's group. But I do recommend hearing the other side of the aisle at least sometimes. Actually, I'd recommend this no matter how large, small, intimate, or diverse your home group may be. It's a good thing to get out and about. I try to go to meetings in other towns when I can, as well as rotate around local meetings on my non-home group nights.
I even went to a gay & lesbian meeting one time. The topic was relationships and resentments - it was a pretty typical AA discussion meeting!
I was excited to attend another women's meeting in my area and when I got there, the women were not nearly as friendly and they bickered about the "rules" of how the meeting should be run, what we could talk about...I didnt like it one bit!
Sounds like Alanon.. LOL. Seriously... I'm a member of Alanon as well and I try to be tolerant and all but sometimes they do get wound up in protocol or take up the first 35 minutes of the meeting debating a $1.25 discrepancy in the treasury. Sometimes I think this is as much a Mars/Venus, Male/Female thing as it is Alcoholic/Non-Alcoholic. But codependents have this little trait of being organizers and managers and sometimes busy-work takes the focus away from oneself. In contrast I've found alcoholics usually are more than happy to talk endlessly about themselves, even if they're beating around the bush. My experience with both programs is that the dropout rate for Alanon is as high if not higher than for AA. The codependent can see that the alcoholic has a problem. The alcoholic even in pretty strong denial can see that he might have a wee little bit of a problem. But the codependent sees the problem as the alcoholic's, and the alcoholic's alone, and decline to work on themselves - resent it even. So even well established Alanon cliques will sometimes absorb themselves in business meetings and rules and other outside issues, because it's a fun and justifiable diversion from working their own program. Just IMO of course. I'm plenty guilty of it myself, although being alcoholic and male, I chafe pretty quickly at the business meetings. When I'm running an AA meeting, I don't pass around announcements or even mention them more than to say I have a stack of announcements, you can come read them after the meeting. It's very distracting in a meeting of any type to have a sheaf of papers being passed around the room, each time it changes hands it's an interruption and annoyance. So I don't do it.
Womens recovery here at home has always amazed me. The display of support for each other is real-time and honest and they take female newcomers under their wings like the newcomers sober life is as valuable as their own. They celebrate each others anniversaries with hugs, cakes, leis and ongoing encouragement. Some times when I watch it happen I wanna jump up and yell, "I want some...I want some!!". Guys do it guy ways and women do it different. I've done stag meetings and even founded one years ago...we're different and need to be I think and still the program included me getting in touch of my "female" side as the women urged and that was where my heart was while my head was somewhere else...most guys will know where it was without comment.
well, I think the content is probably pretty much the same in Mens/Womens, but the "chemistry" is different when we are with "our own sex", and that "unneeded" chemistry is NOT present, which is the important thing....
ASSUMING, of course that all the women are straight. Case in point the Women to Women weekend retreat. Relationships; started, enjoyed, not enjoyed so much, and ended all in the space of a weekend and the confines of my cabin. And the campfire, and the dining hall, and certainly the woods. SURPRISE!
Best quote of the retreat:
"It's important to leave your relationship at home and really work on yourself."
I did learn some things that weekend so all wasn't lost. Just saying
-- Edited by Rainspa on Friday 18th of June 2010 03:41:20 AM
Rainspa, these women are by no means all "straight". In fact, I would venture to say that 1/3 (out of about 25 - 30 women?) are lesbians. So yes, there is an element I suppose... of "that kind of chemistry"... but it doesn't have that effect on me, being that I'm straight. But I'm sure it (chemistry) is there for others... I just know that I feel safe there, so for me, it works.
Thanks for the encouragement, Toni, and thanks to all for the ES&H.
Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
