I was so mixed up I tried to be perfect at avoiding perfectionism! -- Kathryn G.
Oh, the struggle with perfectionism! Of all the clubs we can use to beat ourselves with, that one may be the worst. With all the "musts," "must nots," "shoulds," and "should nots" we demand of ourselves it's a wonder we can get through some days at all.
One woman said she called one of her cats by the other cat's name and as a result spent the next two hours depressed. Most of us don't go that far with perfectionism, but we still make unreasonable demands of ourselves.
The "one year" test is a good one for perfectionism: "If I (fill in the blank), what difference will it make in a year?" Some things will be important in a year. Making meetings, contacting our sponsor, communing with our Higher Power, and being honest with ourselves and others are all important. And we should be concerned when we fail. But more often we punish ourselves for the little failures - forgetting someone's name or saying the "wrong thing." These are the "crimes" we remember the most. But now we can learn to forgive ourselves and concentrate on what's really important: our new lives in recovery.
Today, help me remember what's important. Help me forgive myself for minor mistakes.
I like this one. I used to be embarrassed and feared talking with someone if I didn't know their name. I thought I would look stupid. Feared I wouldn't get your approval. This would effect my self esteem. Working the steps in AA and living a spiritual way of life I can accept my imperfect self and realize I'm human. I will make mistakes. Names are still a problem for me but I think it's more important to offer my hand out and say hello even if I don't remember their name or get it wrong. Just me..... I laugh now at meetings and so do others at this...
I can never remember a name, maybe cause I never really talk to anyone. lol I love what you shared cause I never want to do anything If I feel I couldn't do it perfect the first time..I hate to keep being told things I need to do right or better over and over again...depression and guilt plus fear just takes over and then I give up.
But that's what I do if If I don't use my steps and sponsor and prayer! With a great mtg that can must of the time fill my cup full!
