In case anyone cares or was wondering... am on day 15.... Got some stories to tell but will do that when I get back into town on Sunday... It hasnt been a fun or pretty road but I am still alive and my HP is not done with me yet. I am determined to never ever take another drink, going to lots of meetings, got a new sponsor (3rd) working steps and enjoying sober life. I have finally put sobriety as my #1 priority over everything including my son/family etc. It literally took me drinking a 5th of long island mix, blacking out and hitting rock bottom to realize I dont want to ever take another drink... I mean literal face to pavement.. (will upload a pic soon and make it my avatar so it will be a constant reminder..) (broken nose, black eyes etc)
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Steve, Glad you are back. Don't focus on never drinking again. Just focus on not taking the next drink. If you don't drink the first one, you wont wind up on the pavement.
Just call your sponsor daily and go to a meeting a day. It is pretty hard to relapse if you are just even doing those things.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Great to see you back and sober Steve. I have to ask, is it any better out there? It doesn't sound like it from your post. Like pinkchip said, don't take that first drink JUST FOR TODAY. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about not drinking tomorrow.
I think making the pic your new avatar is a great idea. I don't know about you, but I have a very good forgeter, and reminders help me to stay grounded. Keep it simple, keep working the program, and for today, just don't drink.
Steve, glad you're back dude. And congrats on the 15 days.
I've been where you are, know exactly what you're feeling. Put it this way: you're the opposite of alone.
Personally, I had to be given a practical handle on what putting my sobriety as number 1 really meant. I'd heard it a lot and said it a lot.
What I've learned from my sponsor (a 31-year-man), is that in practice it means putting the *AA program* as my numero uno priority in order to stay sober. In other words: meetings, service, working the steps with a sponsor, reaching the hand of friendship out to a newcomer. Repeat.
Glad you decided to come back. I also went back out to do more research & actually thought i was doing pretty good...limiting my drinking to the wknds, ONLY when i was clubbing with a certain trustworthy person & actually successfully avoided any major catastrophes for a while...for second there i even thought i had it under control & was having a blast!but Like every other time it caught up with me eventually & finally the last time i drank ( major blackout) something horribly devastating happened. It took me back to a time I was at my worst and I can't go back to that i refuse to.
Today makes 28 days since the last time i took a drink. Weekdays are a breeze..the wknds are a lil difficult for me but seem to be getting easier :).
Hang in there!
-- Edited by happinessisawarmgun on Saturday 12th of June 2010 10:17:01 PM
-- Edited by happinessisawarmgun on Saturday 12th of June 2010 10:24:43 PM
I also usually at this juncture say something to the effect of "didn't we agree you should stay off your face?" to my sponsees who come back to AA looking like that, it is by no means unusual
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
i refuse to.