Emotions/feelings are internal things that actually give me choices to make. to wallow in, to curse, to blame, to react on or about, to display, to internalize, to make known.... to turn into resentments...... someone else is not the cause of my problems or feelings. my reactions are. how i choose to deal with or use those emotions is my problem. it is not easy to remember my control ends at the tip of my nose. that i need to refocus my eyes on what 'the next right thing to do' is. i choose to either get over it by helping another alcoholic/ being of service to get out of my own head, or i can get a resentment from it. my committee loves resentments. resentment creates fuel to make me more miserable and more self righteous and even sicker. i can lose my emotional sobriety by reacting like the the drunk i was. As an alcoholic it is important to talk to someone i trust... someone else who can say, "i have felt like that," someone who can suggest a helpful idea.... like talking out loud to my higher power (when i remember) is helpful. alcoholism and all the poop that accompanies it exists because i have a spiritual malady ( BB page 64)... when self centeredness/self importance control me, my disease is in charge. Alcoholism is a disease, a disease of Perception, a spiritual disease. It needs a spiritual prescription, and mine is a relationship with the God of my understanding and others who understand or share my problem. jj
Hi JJ; You seem to have good internal dialogue, keep it up and continue to remain aware of your emotions and responses to them. I remember years ago when I was well into drug addition like valium, ativan, pain killers, sleep meds... I was a walking zombie, scared to death of these emotions you talked about, the very thought of having anxiety caused me to take something for the very thought of it.... I always carried around with me a 5 or 10 mg valium for a quick fix .......... so here I am today clean & sober and when the anxiety shows up, I talk to myself "yes, it's uncomfortable but it's not going to kill me, wait it out, it will surely pass". And it always passes ... thanks for sharing, it brought me back to my craziness of popping a pill for every kind of bad feeling that showed up. Bless you -c-
Nice, JJ. In the aftermath of most of my BS I usually find myself saying "the only thing that changed here is my perception so maybe that's what started the BS to begin with?"
As an alkie, I need to... Knock off the Deception, tune into God for Reception and be ready to change my Perception.
Yes JJ ,thanks,my illness keeps searching for an entry in ,so each day I put on my armour(my spiritual readings)and stay as God centered as I humanely can.I always remember"If God is for us ,who can be against us!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
