Disclaimer: This is not my writing but it is interesting and as an Alcoholic I can identify with it.
Larry, -------------------
The Degrading Social Network Of The Alcoholic
If the alcoholic is not a solitary drinker their social network will gradually degrade because their behavior, moods, anger etc. will become increasingly unbearable for more and more people around them. As a result, the alcoholic will begin to associate with more people who share similarities to them. So in most cases, alcoholics tend to gravitate to being around other alcoholics. Once they're in recovery, most alcoholics look back and freely admit that their circle of friends had become progressively pathetic. Again, this is another case of the alcoholic changing their circumstances (their friends) to suit their behavior. (their addiction)
-- Edited by Larry_H on Tuesday 25th of May 2010 07:59:36 AM
This is true in many cases but seems to be a case of stating the obvious, in many cases I and others have sought "lower companions" (only to find out when "they" come to AA -I- was the lower companion) but reminds me of the biologists who wrote about the "primitive tool use" of the great apes for fishing wood lice out of tree trunks with stalks of grass but were unable to do so themselves.
But as your drinking progresses and you end up in dive bars it's not some great news flash to find out the other patrons at the dive bar are low end alcoholics too ya know?
It's just not particularly profound, as opposed to that bit on isolationism, like sitting alone and watching the same program, hell, I still have favorite books I read and reread....
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
When I look back at the kind of company I kept ....particularly towards the end of my drinking (the final 2 or 3 years) I shudder.
Anybody 'normal', (who really cared about me as opposed to the company I was keeping who certainly did not) who put down or critisised the kind of company I kept would just disdainfully be told where to go.
'Degrading company' and feeling at home and joining in with it had became 'normal' for me.
As the alcoholic gets sicker and his behavior degrades, he/she will typically change there circle of friends to a lower levels in order to feel normal, and in some cases to feel above these sicker new friends, to aid in their denial. "I"m not as bad as so and so..."
For me recognizing the obvious social circle of the alcohlic for what it is, is similar to acknowledging that all the behaviors that I previously thought were "just how and who I was as person" was really a symptom or result of the alcoholism.
I didn't drink alone because only alcoholics drink alone.
And I didn't drink in the morning, either, for the same reason early on. And besides that, as time went on, I'd be so sick I couldn't bear the smell of the stuff. Later on, though, my "hangovers" became so severe, I'd try to have some "hair of the dog" because people told me it would make me feel better. Yeah, right! It would make me throw up again and I've always hated throwing up! By then my "hangover" headaches were so bad I truly thought I was going to die and throwing up made them far worse. In fact, death would have been a big relief.
Now that I'm sober, I hear from people who know, that it comes to that. You drink and throw up, drink and throw up, drink and throw up, till finally enough stays down to make you "well" in the morning. So I had finally come to that place where I couldn't get drunk, I could get sicker and I couldn't stay sober, either, because I'd get sicker.
The fact that I was homeless, of course, I didn't blame on the booze. It was always for other reasons, never my fault and never alcohol. I even convinced myself that I preferred to live like that. I was so insane by then!
When your drinking buddies live under a bridge, that's about as low as you can get. There were some people I met who lived in a rickety old empty school bus and I looked up to them!
I've used quotation marks around "hangover" because it was really the start of DT's, not a hangover in the sense you mostly think of. I've either read it or heard it said that to use the term "hangover" for what an alcoholic goes through is a huge understatement. That's very true.
In my insanity, I wasn't a "bum" or a "wino", though. I had just chosen an "alternative lifestyle" because I'm such a free spirit, Bohemian type of person, don'tcha know?
Yep, I sure do identify with that, Larry, and with all of the members here who have shared.
I didn't drink alone because only alcoholics drink alone.
And I didn't drink in the morning, either, for the same reason early on. And besides that, as time went on, I'd be so sick I couldn't bear the smell of the stuff. Later on, though, my "hangovers" became so severe, I'd try to have some "hair of the dog" because people told me it would make me feel better. Yeah, right! It would make me throw up again and I've always hated throwing up! By then my "hangover" headaches were so bad I truly thought I was going to die and throwing up made them far worse. In fact, death would have been a big relief.
Now that I'm sober, I hear from people who know, that it comes to that. You drink and throw up, drink and throw up, drink and throw up, till finally enough stays down to make you "well" in the morning. So I had finally come to that place where I couldn't get drunk, I could get sicker and I couldn't stay sober, either, because I'd get sicker.
The fact that I was homeless, of course, I didn't blame on the booze. It was always for other reasons, never my fault and never alcohol. I even convinced myself that I preferred to live like that. I was so insane by then!
When your drinking buddies live under a bridge, that's about as low as you can get. There were some people I met who lived in a rickety old empty school bus and I looked up to them!
I've used quotation marks around "hangover" because it was really the start of DT's, not a hangover in the sense you mostly think of. I've either read it or heard it said that to use the term "hangover" for what an alcoholic goes through is a huge understatement. That's very true.
In my insanity, I wasn't a "bum" or a "wino", though. I had just chosen an "alternative lifestyle" because I'm such a free spirit, Bohemian type of person, don'tcha know?
Yep, I sure do identify with that, Larry, and with all of the members here who have shared.
Yep, just before I came into the fellowship I had a trip back to Vancouver where I was drunk for a lot of it. Going out with my mum and friends, drunk. Blacking out on my 41st birthday.
I went to places that had pints of beer for $2, where the winos who boosted stuff at the stores next door sold the stuff and then drank. I felt competely comfortable there. I wanted to be there forever. I felt that I had finally arrived with my people. I saw myself as some Bohemian, alternative lifestyle guy too. I even had a fantasy that I'd leave the family, go back to Vancouver with camping gear, live homeless and drink. Totally selfish, totally screwed up.
