I read it is important to make a list of why you don't want to drink, then keep that list with you, so here is my list. You can make the list here, or just write it to yourself, if you want to. I read this does help. Evertime you want to drink, read the list. That is what I am going to do.
1. Health reasons. I don't want cancer, heart problems, nor liver diease.
2. I will save more money and I won't drink my money away.
3. I will live a longer life and feel a lot better about myself.
4. My family will be happy for me, esp my Grandma and my 16 year old daughter.
5. I don't want to die, like people I know, who had drinking problems.
6. I won't have stomache pain, hurt burn, gass. I wont have to keep going to the bathroom all the time.
7. I won't feel so depressed.
8. I will feel proud of myself for quitting.
9. Drinking beer, or vodka is not good for bladder infections, which I get often, so it may help, not to get these infections.
10. I want my soberity back. I want my soberity chip, it makes me feel special.
11. I won't sleep all the time, because when I am drunk, well it makes me want to sleep for many hours. I want to stay awake and enjoy life.
12. I don't want to wake up feeling hung over. I want to wake up feeling good.
13. Sometimes beer, or vodka makes my panic attacks worse. My heart starts racing faster, sometimes this happens when I drink too much. I don't like that feeling.
14. I won't get a big headache after 8 beers and no buzz, so if that is all alcohol is doing for me, then not worth drinking it then. I wake up having diearrea. This is not much fun.
-- Edited by aprilleaves on Friday 21st of May 2010 08:51:19 AM
1. it gets me using other crap 2. it worsens my emotional problems once the initial high is worn off 3. it is a waste of money and time 4. incomprehensible demoralization follows every time 5. it will kill me, either today, tomorrow, or one day 6. if it doesn't kill me, it will make a miserable life drag on and on 7. it creates a life of isolation, and I want to give and receive love instead 8. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired 9. it won't help me meet my personal goals, but set them back or destroy my chances at them 10. it will make the divorce 100,000 times worse than it already is! 11. I will end up in jail, the ward, the hospital or the funeral home.
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I don't want to go back to behaving the way I once did. I don't want to hurt people any more, especially those I love. I don't want to force those people even further away from me.
I LIKE the person I am becoming. I LIKE the behaviours I am developing as default positions.
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
when life is crap, pour drink into my mouth will only make it all a million times worse.
i have no control over my actions when i am drunk. i am liable to attack someone or myself. I could end up hurting myself or another person, or worse killing someone or myself.
Whatever is going on cannot be fixed by me getting drunk. It will only be made worse.
right now i dont want to die. I want to live and if i drink theres a good chance i will mess up so bad that i will either really wish i was dead or i will die.
i could harm others.
i dont want a hangover
i dont want to have to go through early soberity again.
i am scared if i drank that my pride woulds top me from going back to AA
mostly i know if i drank it would be a very dark place and i dont want to go there
sometimes i feel like crap - like now - but i KNOW it WILL pass and things will lift.
Nothing on your list, or on any list I could make, would be sufficient to stop me from drinking if I made my mind up I was going to drink. I'm a professional debater; if you give me a point-by-point, I can argue against it point-by-point, or rationalize it away point-by-point. I just can't play that game, not with my sobriety.
My reason not to drink today is that I love my life, the sober life I have today. I get to keep that gift one more day, by not drinking today.
If I were in one of the Chemical Isles at Home Depot, there are many and those rows of Plant Foods, cleaners, all the containers that have that famous Skull and Crossbone, and underneath, it says ***Poison*** same reason I would not linger there thinking, hum, "should I or shouldn't I ?".....
I was going to be more creative, and list some of those known Poisons, but it is too early.
Simple List....1. Don't want to Die
For me, I need GOD everyday to keep my brain thinking this way.....everyday, all day....
When I drink I find myself in a different world and my sober world spins out of orbit. I become an alien and the life I have disappears including my house, family, work, reputation, finances, Higher Power, breath and heartbeat. I all goes away. I'd rather continue to say..."No thanks, I've had enough" or "No thanks I'm allergic" or just "No".
1. I hurt the people i love with ALL my heart 2. It leads to other substances 3. I get into REALLY CRAZY f*cked up situation i dont want to be in 4. Incomprehensible demoralization 5. because i lose the ability to relate, empathize or care about other people. 6. I want to truly experience LIFE and be happy just being clean & sober!!
-- Edited by happinessisawarmgun on Friday 21st of May 2010 08:34:38 PM
I am drinking beer now looking at my list. I must remove beer from home. I had like 5 beers already. I told myself I would not drink, but look I am drinking beer again and no I am not buzzed, it takes me at least 8- 10 beers to get there. AA meeting here I come. I am so mad I keep saying I am not going to drink and I am drinking beer now. I can do this. I can. I am not buying anymore beer.
I hate myself. I fail again. I am throwing my beer out , after I finish this drink.
-- Edited by aprilleaves on Friday 21st of May 2010 09:35:33 PM
Wait! I have to throw this drink out. The beer I am drinking right now, this sucks, be back guys. I don't want to do this but I have to. I am afraid right now. I don't want to throw it out. I am trying to get drunk. I can't drink anymore. I can't. I am going to the sink now, this really sucks and I am getting rid of the rest of my beer..
I just dumped my beer down the drain, I am crying. I had to do it. I am beer free now. LOL. I have no more beer in my house. I can't have beer in my house, or I drink it. now it's gone, all of it. This is not a happy moment for me. Looks at my list for comfort.
-- Edited by aprilleaves on Friday 21st of May 2010 09:46:41 PM
aprilleaves wrote:I hate myself. I fail again. I am throwing my beer out , after I finish this drink.
Aight lissen up
hating yourself, guilt and feelings of shame, self pity and remorse will just get you drunker, they are part of the problem, not the solution, the solution involves not drinking, calling people before you drink, and gettin your hiney to a meeting, but not beating yourself up if you drank because you are a......wait for it.....alcoholic.
Alcoholics drink, it's what we do, might as well hate yourself for going potty
You done? Cause if you are, we can help.
I have to say, this right here:
I am throwing my beer out , after I finish this drink.
Is the single best post I have ever seen on an AA board
You have just qualified for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, welcome, you are in the right place
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
PS I need you to get and stay sober now so I can make that line my sig, it's really that good
PS put down the bat, the one you beating yourself with, all you doing is hurting yourself, get some sleep, go to a meeting tomorrow, and then tell us how it was
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Aloha April...read from this end of the Big Island I hear "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanagable" and next "Came to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could lead us to Sanity " It seems you are right at the decision point at the moment the dropping down point...Drop down to your knees...raise your face to your HP and ask, "Please help me...I don't want to drink anymore." Then get to the very first meeting of AA that you are able and maybe call another fellow to take you there.
aprilleaves wrote:I hate myself. I fail again. I am throwing my beer out , after I finish this drink.
Aight lissen up
hating yourself, guilt and feelings of shame, self pity and remorse will just get you drunker, they are part of the problem, not the solution, the solution involves not drinking, calling people before you drink, and gettin your hiney to a meeting, but not beating yourself up if you drank because you are a......wait for it.....alcoholic.
Alcoholics drink, it's what we do, might as well hate yourself for going potty
You done? Cause if you are, we can help.
I have to say, this right here:
I am throwing my beer out , after I finish this drink.
Is the single best post I have ever seen on an AA board
You have just qualified for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, welcome, you are in the right place
I took the beer I was drinking and tossed that is the trash to. But yes I know I have a problem. I figured I was in the right place. Anyway, I really have no beer to drink now. I am not buying anymore. That is what I say now. I don't have money now anyways to buy anymore booze, because I am poor, which is a good thing. I just can't have the beer in the fridge, or i am doomed. I see how well I do with this plan. And going to AA meetings, but I know they will tell me to get rid of my beer, which I just did. All of it, yes! I feel depressed now.
PS I need you to get and stay sober now so I can make that line my sig, it's really that good
PS put down the bat, the one you beating yourself with, all you doing is hurting yourself, get some sleep, go to a meeting tomorrow, and then tell us how it was
Well, all my beer is gone, so that is a good thing, now time to head to AA meeting! I need a smoke now, that was depressing. I mean dumping my beer down the drain. I had 3 beers left, all gone down the drain. Now I am going to have a drunk sink. LOL. My beer is gone, so pleas let me cry, thanks!
PS I need you to get and stay sober now so I can make that line my sig, it's really that good
PS put down the bat, the one you beating yourself with, all you doing is hurting yourself, get some sleep, go to a meeting tomorrow, and then tell us how it was
Well, all my beer is gone, so that is a good thing, now time to head to AA meeting! I need a smoke now, that was depressing. I mean dumping my beer down the drain. I had 3 beers left, all gone down the drain. Now I am going to have a drunk sink. LOL. My beer is gone, so pleas let me cry, thanks!
Crying can be a good thing, say goodbye to alcohol tonight, for many of us it was our best friend, our only friend, so a grieving process is appropriate, so you jus' go right ahead and cry, the meeting will be there tomorrow, I'm serious about hearing about it, I want to hear all about it, what the speaker said, what color shirt the secretary was wearing, and a few of the things you heard that you identified with
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Well, all my beer is gone, so that is a good thing, now time to head to AA meeting! I need a smoke now, that was depressing. I mean dumping my beer down the drain. I had 3 beers left, all gone down the drain. Now I am going to have a drunk sink. LOL. My beer is gone, so pleas let me cry, thanks!
My last drunk, I went to bed with half a warm beer in a glass sitting on the table and 5 more still in the fridge. I went to my first AA meeting the next evening after work. When I got home, I went to the basement and dumped out the warm one. A week or so later I got a sponsor, and I mentioned the 5 I had left along with some odd leftover booze bottles with a little left. He said pour it out. So I did, and since I had since gotten paid, I wasn't too bothered by it because I knew I could get more.
That was 21 years ago, I haven't had to go get more yet.
the reasons why i dont want to drink: i cant control it, doesnt solve problems, it destroyed my relationship, its not cheap, i like to remember everything,better for my health....
I can't get to an AA meeting right now. I do not have the money, and I might be moving, but if I get the apartment I want I will have money left. Right now I am really renting something that is hard for me to afford. I know of a place online that has the big book, so I will read from that and also come here, until I can get to a meeting. I do not have a car, so I have to take the bus and though it is not real expensive to ride, well I am only down to a few bucks, until the first. The AA meeting is not close enough to walk to and it's not in a good part of town. I will go once I can get there.
I can't get to an AA meeting right now. I do not have the money, and I might be moving, but if I get the apartment I want I will have money left. Right now I am really renting something that is hard for me to afford. I know of a place online that has the big book, so I will read from that and also come here, until I can get to a meeting. I do not have a car, so I have to take the bus and though it is not real expensive to ride, well I am only down to a few bucks, until the first. The AA meeting is not close enough to walk to and it's not in a good part of town. I will go once I can get there.
If you call AA, frequently they will send someone to see you, who many times can/will take you to your first meeting
When it came time for me to get sober I made the decision to go to any lengths, because that is the dedication it takes
Any means any. Am I willing to give up my job, my marriage, my kids, my friends, my house, etc? Not that giving up these things is necessarily required, but the willingness to do what it takes is required.
Personally I was broke, and had to drive 2 hours a direction once or twice a week, and one hour a direction twice a week, and 20 minutes a direction once a week on a suspended license dodging cops that knew what my car looked like
I was reading a post in another forum from someone who just relapsed, talking about being desperate on one hand, but then saying they don't have time for meetings, can't go for personal reasons, wife wouldn't like it, nobody to watch the kids, blah, blah, blah.
It was bullshit, they weren't done, they were selling and telling a story not only to us but to themselves, they had hidden reservations, the plain truth was, they weren't done.
Usually, the loser in a battle doesn't get to set the terms of their surrender. I lost the battle with booze, and the surrender terms don't necessarily suit me. But I have to agree to those terms if I want any chance at recovery.
Whatever it takes means whatever it takes.
There is no try, there is only do, and if you take one step towards AA it will take 2 steps towards you
and save your life
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I drank: too much---too often---too long, then desired a different life.
the program of AA works if you are willingto do whatever it takes to stay sober. period.
For me that was after 2 DUIs (talk about being poor!) Court mandated Sobriety, my Higher Power helping to make me, willingness on my part to make phone calls and go to meetings (with no car or license to get me there). find a woman in AA you respect and want to be like.... just talk to her. We are all in this same boat, April. you can jump back into the drink or involve your life in a 12 step program. you do have a choice when you are ready to choose.
I can't get to an AA meeting right now. I do not have the money, and I might be moving, but if I get the apartment I want I will have money left. Right now I am really renting something that is hard for me to afford. I know of a place online that has the big book, so I will read from that and also come here, until I can get to a meeting. I do not have a car, so I have to take the bus and though it is not real expensive to ride, well I am only down to a few bucks, until the first. The AA meeting is not close enough to walk to and it's not in a good part of town. I will go once I can get there.
If you call AA, frequently they will send someone to see you, who many times can/will take you to your first meeting
When it came time for me to get sober I made the decision to go to any lengths, because that is the dedication it takes
Any means any. Am I willing to give up my job, my marriage, my kids, my friends, my house, etc? Not that giving up these things is necessarily required, but the willingness to do what it takes is required.
Personally I was broke, and had to drive 2 hours a direction once or twice a week, and one hour a direction twice a week, and 20 minutes a direction once a week on a suspended license dodging cops that knew what my car looked like
I was reading a post in another forum from someone who just relapsed, talking about being desperate on one hand, but then saying they don't have time for meetings, can't go for personal reasons, wife wouldn't like it, nobody to watch the kids, blah, blah, blah.
It was bullshit, they weren't done, they were selling and telling a story not only to us but to themselves, they had hidden reservations, the plain truth was, they weren't done.
Usually, the loser in a battle doesn't get to set the terms of their surrender. I lost the battle with booze, and the surrender terms don't necessarily suit me. But I have to agree to those terms if I want any chance at recovery.
Whatever it takes means whatever it takes.
There is no try, there is only do, and if you take one step towards AA it will take 2 steps towards you
and save your life
This is an extremely powerful and important point. It's more of less what my sponsor said to me repeatedly when I first started working with him.
Basically, what he said to me was "you hear a lot about making sobriety your number 1 priority. That doesn't cut it for me. Sobriety is an abstract concept."
He went on to give me the punchline: "I have to make AA my number one priority. If I stop making AA my number one priority, stop going to meetings, stop working my 10-12, then I will lose my golf, my family, my house, my job and probably my life. If it's a choice between golf, pissed off wife, unpainted house, pissed off boss, etc. or AA, then AA wins."
He's got 30 years in, so I figured he must know what he's talking about.
Reality is of course, like AGO says, it isn't often that choice. BUT if that choice does arise and I don't choose AA, then, bluntly put, I'll drink again. And if I do that, then all those other things go.
In fact, there was sharing on this point at my home group tonite (UK time zone ;) -- somebody hadn't been to meetings of working her programme b/c she was too busy: she hadn't drunk yet, and forutunately she realised where she was going and has got back into the saddle with her programme, before it was too late.
Aprilleaves, If you are really serious about getting to a meeting, call your local intergroup office and they will arrange for a woman (make sure it is a WOMAN) to come and pick you up for the next meeting. Intergroups do this in every area around the country, they help alcoholics to connect to people who can intriduce them to AA and DRIVE THEM THERE, if necessary.
Get to a meeting.
We would not be telling you to go to a meeting if it was boring, embarrassing, shameful or scary, because if it were any of these things, we would not be going, I assure you.
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Tina, Please make the effort and call AA for help. We're in the book. All you need is the desire to stop drinking and we will find a way to help you. We're AA. It's what we do.
Reasons why I don't drink. If........ I drink, I will lose all my time.....5y, 3m----I don't want to lose that. Even though a newbies first day of sobriety is just as significant as today's sobriety is for me...and the day isn't over yet!! I drink, my blood thinner will kill me and my liver faster, and my blood pressure meds will effect me more. I drink, I will not be present in my life and in the life of my family. I drink, I am useless to myself and to others. Serving others has helped me in recovery. I drink, I die outside and inside.........
If.......... I don't drink, life will be better. I don't drink, my credibility and performance as a person and service to others is enhanced. I don't drink, I will live longer and live fuller.........
