Hi, my name is Chris J, and I am an alcoholic. I have found a home group here and and sponsor from my home group. But I thought it would be helpful for me to also find something like this online. Being new to this, many things have been brought to my attention(since im no longer ignoring everything). The main thing that I realized is that I have no idea how to do anything rather it be eating, socializing, etc. It has really gotten me down that I am not able to do things that most people don't even think twice about. The main issue that I am trying to tackle right now is making myself eat normally and healthy, obviously when I was drinking I was not eating right at all and since that took up the majority of my adult life it feels as if I need someone to tell me how to do it!
If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it( also another one of my major problems is opening up to people, hence why I am asking this online)
Hello JC and welcome to the board. There are a lot of nice folks here with good sobriety. You're doing the right thing, just keep asking away and you'll get some answers in the form of experience, strength, and hope.
Hi JC, Welcome! Thanks for helping to keep me sober another day! You are ABSOLUTELY on the right track!
I eat whatever I'm craving. I know that while that seems absurd, I'm speaking in terms of food groups or categories. If I have a craving for a medium-rare venison backstrap filet...I'm probably in need of protein and should at least have some beans. See what I mean?
I have while sober that when I eat a balanced organic meal made from fresh ingredients that I feel GREAT! If I eat a McDouble and fries I feel like crap.
But, having said that, I'm an alcoholic. There's always room for Peanut M&M's!
Chris, welcome....your appetite should come back to you shortly and if it works like it did for me, you will have some cravings for foods you didnt necessarily like or eat before...Sugar cravings hit hard and I gave into them because for me, it was healthier to not worry about being a chocoholic as opposed to drinking...I craved carbs hard for like a year and it only just went away and now I somehow like eating a balanced diet... As long as you get something in your stomach... Drink ensure if you have to.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
And how wonderful that you already have secured a sponsor and a home group, great job !!
If you stay sober, work the program , trust God and help others I promise you that you will learn how to re-do all those things you talked about ... eating right, socializing, etc.
When I first got sober I wanted to eat everything I could get my hands on and I did. Then after about 6 months I tapered off and started eating more healthy. It simply took some prayers and the willingness to change my eating habits.
Today I eat all day long pretty much so ... always having breakfast. Approx 2-3 hours later a snack, be it yogurt, or fruit, or granola or trail mix. Lunch might be 1/2 sandwhich and cottage cheese . then 2-3 hours later maybe some carrots or whole wheat crackers. Dinner is 1/2 the portions of what I use to eat.
As much water as I can get all day long.
Id be a liar if I said I dont eat junk food, cuz i do. But its limited. Hardly any chips, or hot / spicey foods, rarely do I eat fast food restaurant food. I still like chocolate and desserts, but I limit the amount.
Again, welcome and follow the guidance of your sponsor. Keep your chin up , keep your attitude positive and you will do well !
Hey Chris,welcome! Great job in already securing a sponsor,making meetings and a homegroup.The only thing I would suggest is to remain focused in all areas of your life that may be starting to take control over you.When we put alcohol down we are now left with all the manifestations of our illness.As obsessive/compulsive people,I know for me,I used gambling as a crutch early on in my sobriety.I traded one sickness for another.Physically,spiritually and menatally we are entwined with illnesses before we even picked up our first drink.Keep coming back,better yet,,STAY help keep us sober "one day at a time".........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hi CJ, A warm welcome here. You have done the absolute right thing in getting a home group and sponsor. Hats off to you for that!
I recently slipped back into drinking after a few years of abstinence for a few weeks, because I was NOT attneding meetings for a very long time, and my old thinking and behavior started to come back. It was awful, and I recommitted to this program because I know without a doubt that it works.
The first 30 days back, I let myself eat whatever I wanted. I was eating those pre-packaged ice cream cones (called Drumsticks around here) because I craved fat and chocolate. I was eating several a day (2-3?)! But I made sure to eat some healthy stuff along with (fresh salsa, eggs), so I had the protein and vitamins I needed. Thank GOD I was in the process of moving while I was eating those cones (18g of fat each!), because I was carrying boxes up 3 flights of stairs for about 12 days straight! All that heavy exercise really saved my butt (no pun intended), considering what I was eating. Alcoholic behavior and malnutrition depletes the lining of our nerves, which is made entirely of fat (look up 'myelin sheath'), and this fatty layer speeds up the nerve impulses. I have always thought that craving fat in early recovery might have something to do with our bodies wanting to restore these nerve sheaths. (But don't quote me on it).
Now after about a month and a half of splurging, I simply don't buy that stuff by the BOX any more. There is no longer a box of 24 ice cream cones in my freezer screaming at me all day and night long!! If I have an especially strong craving for sweets, I go buy myself ONE something-or-other. Not a whole box (typical alcoholic - addicted to MORE of anything LOL).
My sponsor gave me a new electric skillet as a house warming gift. Last night I sauteed a big fresh tilapia (fish) filet, with cajun seasoning and lemon squirted all over it. It was unbelievable and filled me up. I was letting myself eat butter at first, but now have "graduated" back to margarine.
For now, let yourself eat and feed food cravings. As long as you are not drinking, going to meetings, talking to your sponsor and start working the 12 Steps, you can worry about modifying your diet later. And even then, "Easy Does It!"
(((((hugs)))))) Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
he main thing that I realized is that I have no idea how to do anything rather it be eating, socializing, etc. It has really gotten me down that I am not able to do things that most people don't even think twice about.
That kind of stuff gets better - it really does. I kind of figured that since I had been abusing alcohol for so long - just leaving that out and eating whatever i felt like had to be better than before! My sponsor also told me to take a Vit B complex as she said that would help stabilse my mood - i am female! I need ALL the help I can get!!!!! But I understand from a male AA friend of mine that he did that too and it did help him. Eventually I learnt what a healthy kind of diet was.
I had the complication of having had an eating disorder history and to be honest when i got sober and saw myself - hugely overweight, I have to be honest and say that that for someonewho had been a dancer, being that overweight was something I couldn't cope with. So I probably didn't eat too well in the early stages at all but I still felt better cos the booze was gone.
The emotional trauma of where I had ended up re alcohol left me emotionally drained and maybe more food would have been a good thing for me in early recovery ....infact I KNOW it would ........but it just didn't wasn't something I felt i could do.
Even today Chris, I can find things difficult that it SEEMS most others don't have to think twice about. (maybe they do?) Even re-newing a library book was a huge deal to me in early recovery. i had lost all my confidence.
It's a gradual process though to get to a more normal 'operating stage' I think (well for me anyway).
Another thing my sponsor pointed out to me was that people weren't looking at me !! I was SO conscious of feeling that i didn't know how to do anything that i thought people were closely watching me and aware. No! They weren't particularly interested or paid any attention really!!
I, through AA have become alot less self conscious. Still a shy person but don't feel anywhere near as self conscious as I did when I first got sober.
Like I say it's a process.... Lovely to meet you!! Louisa xx
Aloha Chris...Its good to remember and it has already been said that alcoholics are creatures of compulsion alcohol and beyond. When I was new I was given just one thing and one thing only to focus on from the start...get and stay sober. I've been around for a while so I've found out alot of stuff about me and my compulsions... I have a ton of them and still have some piled up in the corner including compulsive dieting...or eating. I know I can eat and in my life time I've eaten thousands of different foods...so I know I can eat just about anything. I raise some of my own foodstuffs and in Hawaii it is almost impossible to starve so alot of things support my compulsion. A balanced diet for me is when I load up my plate or bowl it doesn't lean to any side. LOL I don't know and have never known about perfect anything so I end up doing the best I can with whats in the fridge, freezer or cupboard and when I'm done I'm not hungry any more which seems to be the point for me.
You started at the right place...stick with it and when you are maintaining sobriety try tackling the diet or any other defect you might have.
One of the sayings that helped me a lot when I had questions when I first got sober was "Keep it simple, Stupid". (Rude to say "stupid" but that's what I was told K.I.S.S. stood for.) I applied that to a lot of things. Just not drinking day by day was my biggest concern. I ate lots of candy at first. Alcohol turns to sugar real fast in your body so our bodies get used to quick fixes of sugar from it and candy seems to help calm the craving. But I also took a vitamin every day and extra B vitamins. Somebody told me that was good for me so I did that. I also just ate what my body seemed to be craving, like someone else here said. My biggest concern was just not to drink at first. Keeping it uncomplicated like that helped me to keep my focus on not drinking till later on when craving wasn't such a problem.
Another thing I found helpful was to read labels on foods and not to eat foods cooked in wine or any other kind of alcohol and not to use mustards or other foods like that that had wine as an ingredient. They say it all cooks out but I wasn't taking any chances. You'd be surprised how many foods you buy have wine or other alcohol in them in small amounts, and any amount at all could set up the craving again, so I found that being aware of that was a big help for me, too. If I cooked my own food from scratch, that was the easiest. Then I knew what was in them. Salad dressings I had to read the label because some have wine in them, for instance. If I made my own then I knew there wouldn't be any.
Your appetite will come back. Just take it easy and eat what you like or whatever you're craving as long as you're sure there's no alcohol in it.
I had to learn how to "Live" .... spent years existing and not living...
It will come to you... you will learn.. and thats the fun of it all... every days a good day in recovery.. your socialising now here... and im sure you have eaten today.. keep up the great work!
i never realized the whole sugar concept, before i ever started drinking i loved sweets but once i started drinking nothing sweet sounded good at all, but now that i am not drinking i am starting to eat the bags of sweets that have been sitting in the pantry forever. it totally makes sense.
!!!!! But I understand from a male AA friend of mine that he did that too and it did help him. Eventually I learnt what a healthy kind of diet was.
I was SO conscious of feeling that i didn't know how to do anything that i thought people were closely watching me and aware. No! They weren't particularly interested or paid any attention really!!