So, today is a big event in my life.  It is being handled through a union grievance process.  I am 100% in the right, but the situation does not always follow right or wrong, but grim, cold corporations and lawyers who really need step 3 very badly.  Anyhow, my HP is God.  I am Catholic, so pretty much its really the "Holy Trinity" recognized by a lot of Christianity.  I like to "keep it simple" so I am not a theologian, but the little Catholic church I was married in and both my kids were baptised in, is perfect for me because outside there is a statue of Jesus.  It has 2 park style benches and it is out in the middle of nowhere so you can sit on the benches and reflect on some artists concept of Jesus.  
This church is about 45 minutes from my house now that I have moved, so I do not get there too often.  I am embarrased to say that about 12 years ago, I was very troubled by something and I was asking my HP for help. I was so troubled that I decided to go to the Jesus statue and clean it with clorox because mildew had grown on it.  I am embarassed to say that in my mind, it was kind of like I wanted to show how willing I was for an answer that I was "trading" a clorox cleaning for help.  To my amazement, as I cleaned, an idea hit me that ended up being the solution to the problem!!!!! This solution just came to me as I cleaned and it had not been clear in my mind to that point but like a jolt, I knew this idea was going to solve the problem!  I know that sounds crazy or coincidental, but, I assure you that the moment was very spiritual. 
That brings us to yesterday.  12 years later this union situation comes along that will mean a lot to my family.  Without going into detail, the result will be either I will have a very stable career path, or I will continue in what is a great job, but without the long term protection.  I deserve option one, but we will find out how the legal, corporate, and political factions see it. This has been weighing on me for 4 1/2 years.  Somehow, I got the idea to drive out to my old church with a bottle of clorox.  I pull up to the serene spot on a cloudy sultry southern evening, and I have the area to myself.  As I walked up to the statue, I noticed that not only was it clean, but freshly painted.  I sprayed a little clorox as a token and sat down and studied the face that an unknown artist decided was the face of Jesus.  The face is well done because the "look" that is rendered can be loving, stern, caring, sympathetic, wise, pained, disappointed, etc etc.  It is so well done, that as I reflected on how I was going to ask for help, I was having trouble making "eye contact" with the statue. 
My problem is that I am already the luckiest man in the world.  I have a wonderful life because AA led me to my HP, my wonderful wife, a so far comfortable life, 2 great kids, a curious nature that keeps me interested in life and in living, so as I looked at this statue ready to ask for more, I felt uncomfortable.  With so many people in need of His help, how could I possibly ask for more???  I steeled myself to ask anyway, so as I looked into the statues curious face, I felt like a child (which of course I am to Him) asking for more candy and coming up with a childlike reason for why I "needed" more.  Very much like a child who encounters a stern look from a parent, I actually changed my request to "Lord, I am asking for your help, but you have given me so much that I will be at peace whatever the outcome" Instantly, I was able to look the statue full in the face and the look changed (to my mind) to one of humor, and as I looked at the amused face I felt the weight of 4 1/2 years slide off my back and at that moment the sun broke out of the west through the trees right behind the face of Jesus which actually blinded me and seemingly just illuminated me and the statue, and I started to laugh. It was almost like a joke a father or brother plays on you when he squirts you with a hose on a sunny day. 
Who knows what the outcome is going to be today, but I am really at peace with whatever happens.  Many people have been wronged and go through life bitter over the results instead of getting back on their journey through life.  I am sort of writing this story for those who are having trouble finding their HP.  My HP has always understood humanity and has human qualities.  One of those is a sense of humor.  Many times breaking the "barrier" between your HP and you for the beginner is taking some action.  Sometimes its dropping to your knees and asking the open night for help.  Sometimes its simply asking "I am not sure who to address this to, but I am asking for help finding goodness and light". 
Anyhow, I urge those of you finding it hard to begin communication with your HP to simply ask for help.  If you can find a little spot like mine in nature or in the mountains, or by the shore or in a local park or by your own window sill, ask for help.  If you happened to be troubled by something, and you happen to be heading south out of Charleston SC on your way towards Savannah GA and you can find your way down to a little Catholic church on Yonges Island SC, you may want to vist a very clean Jesus statue and reflect on your problems in a little garden spot in front of a statue whos likeness it represents may squirt you with some sunshine.  Cleaning bottle not required, but it does not seem to hurt.
Tom 

-- Edited by turninggrey on Thursday 20th of May 2010 12:33:20 PM