Disclaimer: This is not my writing but it is interesting and as an Alcoholic I can identify with it.
Larry, -------------------
The Alcoholic Is The Professional "Victim"
In keeping with their feeling that everything is everyone else's' fault, the alcoholic assumes the role of professional victim.Seemingly, everything negative that happens to the alcoholic (and inherently a lot does) is because they're being victimized from all sides.If they can't get a job, it's because nobody can appreciate their skills.If they fail at school, it's because they're being untreated fairly.If they don't make the team, the team wasn't worth being on and wasn't good enough for them anyway.No matter what the case is, it's the whole world against the alcoholic, the tragic victim of everyone of everything.
Guilty as charged. Wife & I are having some communication issues at the moment because when she cites a character defect of mine as a reason for her inability to do something I immediately get hyper-defensive and accuse her of attacking me emotionally instead of looking past the words to the issue or stopping the conflict in it's tracks with "let's assume that you're correct; what now?"
Being an alcoholic sucks. Being a recovering alcoholic in AA is like being re-birthed, but without the whole "cone-head" effect.
Yep, I can relate. That's why we need to give ourselves the open minded opportunity to learn how to live life on life's terms. Every thing happens for a reason and usually it has very little to do with us unless we are not doing our fair share of the work required. Without oversight, I will tend to take credit for everything good that happens in my life and blame others, society, or God for the things that do go my way. The opposite of that is to be grateful for everything (even the things that don't go my way) and try to find my part in the troubles that I may be having.
truly, I'm where Dean is, I see this "thing' and it talks to me 24/7, I'm like the pointed man from the pointless forest, pointing in every direction but my own, which is ultimately pointless, because a point in every direction is the same as no point at all, I just don't happen to listen to my head so much any more and I know better now, in that the dialog still happens, I just lead off with "what is my part" now rather then end with it.
It's more like living with a new york stock exchange running through my head with everyone else's character defects and what is wrong with my life and everything and everybody, but it's only dangerous if I "attach", if I pull one of these thoughts down and entertain it, otherwise I just watch it go by and am amused, but when I do pull one of these down and nurture it, and I do, I am only human, I am the only one who pays ultimately
PS Who is Oblio and how did he get in this conversation, hint he has a dog named Arrow
-- Edited by AGO on Saturday 15th of May 2010 05:37:06 PM
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
