No free rides. The seats comes with paddles; if an uninvited rider is not moving this vessel forward, they're weighing it down. Hope they can swim. To keep an even keel I have to pay close attention to my head's "thrust-to-weight ratio".
Now I know what so many of ya'll have meant by "renting free space in yer head"...finally.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an alcoholic are all captured by Indians. They are told that they will be killed and their skins will be made into canoes, but for their dignity each man is allowed to choose the method of his death.
The Englisman chooses a pistol, says "God save the Queen!" and shoots himself.
The Frenchman chooses poison, exclaims "Viva la France!" and drinks the poison.
The alcoholic asks for a pitchfork, and begins stabbing himself repeatedly all over, screaming in pain with blood gushing out everywhere and yells out "Let's see you make a canoe outa me now!!"
I have gotten laughs with that one for two days now, but I switched it up and told it in IOP rehab with great results.
Indians = Congo Rebels Englishman = Meth-head (Yaaahhhh- Hooooo! BANG) Frenchman = Pot head (I just want to go to sleep forever) Alcoholic = knife
On an effed-up side note, I saw an interview with a British Army Capt. assigned to disarm Congolese rebels. He said he had a conversation with a Congolese rebel "general" that went something like this. "Our people believe that by eating the heart of a brave enemy we will gain his courage." "Hmm. Is it true what they say that human flesh tastes like pork?" "Personally, I don't know...I'm Muslim."
Well, I have to be intellectual here for a moment (or try to).... isn't the whole Muslim/No Pork thing because pork is "unclean"? Human beings are probably waaayyyy more "unclean" than pork!!! We are the most voraceous omnivores, and we do things like take medicine and use chemicals from everything to toothpaste, deodorant, perfume/cologne, smoke cigarettes, etc......
Now, granted, Congolese might not be exposed to SOME of these chemicals, but the "foreign intruders" they are dining on might be exposed to these things.
Therefore, Congolese should not eat people. Right?....
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
THAT is a darned good argument against that practice! I could print up and sell T-Shirts to the Peace Corps that say "100% USDA REJECTED, CONTAMINATED, GENETICALLY-MODIFIED, HORMONALLY-ENHANCED AND OVER-PROCESSED UNHEALTHY AMERICAN (eat my tree-hugging partner, he's 100% organic)."
