last night at a meeting the topic was resentments.... the ones that are hard to let die. turning a resentment over to our HP is not effective if we keep dwelling on it after we "turned it over" and keep bringing it up to the surface and to other AAs. meetings are great places to air the problem de jour BECAUSE there are people there who have gone through the same thing and can share their ESH on getting through it. sure, my feelings were hurt, i did not "like" what happened, it stomped on my ego or i felt helpless, belittled, or not accepted, taken advantage of... The Truth is.... MY business ends at the tip of my nose whether i like it or not. other peoples actions are not my problem to solve or correct. MY actions are. the big book talks about praying for those i resent. period. I don't have to like it. this program is a program of action and desire to change because if i don't change i will drink and die... spiritually and physically. it was a good meeting. jj
Sounds like some solid recovery and growth to me. This program is amazing. Thank you for the post. It's great to see people working the program and getting the results.
_____ this program is a program of action and desire to change-
I learned in AA there was only 1 thing I needed to change........ and that was EVERYTHING.... lol
the big book talks about praying for those i resent. period. I don't have to like it. this program is a program of action and desire to change because if i don't change i will drink and die... spiritually and physically.
*smiling* Oh! The times I haved balked at having to pray for those I resent!
I always remind myself that doing things my way NEVER worked in the past , I ended up a very sick alcoholic at deaths door spiritually and physically.
Now, I just do it - even if it's through gritted teeth! Argh!!!!! *smiling* I leave it to God - like jj shared don't have to like it (WHICH I DON'T!!!) but I do it!!! Louisa xx
Ha!! Interesting, jj, and precisely what my afternoon meeting today focused on. Someone was there with a big resentment and wanted other AA's to help her see the light of day. What I took from it was that if I keep letting someone's past behavior toward me keep me captive, it is my own damn fault! I can turn it over, and then turn it over again, and then keep turning it over.
I am working on Step 4 right now. It is not the first time I have done this step completely, and I look forward to the sense of relief that will come when it is finished. But unlike other times in sobiety, I never fully worked Step 10 on a regular basis, which is a Step that also deals with resentments. I all but took for granted that the Steps need my continued attention and work. I hope to change this now and keep letting resentments go. It makes no sense to me anymore to let go of a whole bunch of resentments and be freed, only to start collecting new ones and never get rid of or learn from those.
Thanks for the post, it was right on target with where I am today in Step 4 and it helped me a lot today. And the 12 & 12 is a God-send right now, too!!
((((hugs))))
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Argh!!!!!