That AA was so simple when I got sober

You just did what you were told, and the funny thing?

it worked

it worked for everybody I know

I came to AA young, so I listened, and there was a strong program in my area, which was The San Francisco Bay Area in the early 90's, actually right north, place called Marin, which was famous for how idiotic it was in the 80's and how hard we partied.

We copulated like bunnies, we snorted houses and business, we drank and crashed cars, we did uppers, downers, acid, ex, we got married and divorced, we were in movies and rock bands, we rode that wild wave until the wheels fell off

Then we came to AA

we dragged ass into a meeting, our wives tossed us out, we got fired from our jobs, I was homeless when I came in, it was something out of a bad movie.

Almost everyone I partied with is sober now, everyone I know has between 17 and 35 years of sobriety, or they aren't alcoholics, except for my old sponsees, but they are almost all in double digit sobriety now, everyone I got sober with is still sober.

So why was I lucky?

Because AA was so very very simple then

I walked into a meeting and was given a hug and asked why I was there

When I said "because I have a problem with alcohol" they said "welcome, you are in the right place Keep coming back and do 90 meetings in 90 days"

within a week I was taken outside and talked to, it was explained to me what I did didn't work, that everything I knew was wrong, and that there was something wrong with my thinking, that there was literally something wrong with my brains, and that I was literally insane (see step 2 please) so it would be best if I sit down and shut up and listened and try to learn something, that if what I did worked I wouldn't have to go to these AA meetings.

I was expected to get a sponsor as soon as possible, so I did.

I asked a guy to be my sponsor, he asked me if I was ready to go to any lengths (and he F^%$ing meant any lengths)

I said yes, so he said:

you have identified yourself as an alcoholic in the program of alcoholics Anonymous, that means you have admitted the problem, you have told the truth, you don't get to use that as an excuse for your bullshit behavior ANY MORE, from here on out, you need to mean what you say, and say what you mean, you don't get to lie any more, you've gone through your whole life lying, and it stops here, it stops with me, I'm the one person in the whole world you have to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to, and if you have a problem with that, go find another sponsor, I got no problem with that, after you practice with me for awhile, you maybe will learn how to start telling the truth to others, all we have in this life is our word, it's the single most important thing that defines you as a man, and if your word is no good, you are no good, so it's time to rebuild that starting now. The fact you have admitted to God, to yourself, and to a group of alcoholics that you are an alcoholic means you don't ever have to take another drink again, you don't have any excuse to drink ever again, and if you do, it's because you lied to yourself.


It was explained if I couldn't teach anyone how to get drunk, and I couldn't teach anyone how to get sober, I should probably not speak at all.

Within 2 weeks it was expected I  picked up at least 4-5 commitments, making coffee, sweeping the floor, coffee clean up, greeter at the door, chair set up, put away chairs, whatever, I was told to get there early, and leave late, and always always always look for newcomers, I was there to help people, not to play grab-ass and get laid, every night (or almost every night) we'd go to dinner, or denny's or out to ice cream after the meeting, we stayed up all night 2-3 days a week, talking what else? Sobriety. We threw sober parties, and went to "toothbrush meetings" and dances, on Saturdays maybe 600? of us went to "Drunks without Dates" a big speaker meeting and we'd all go out dancing afterwards.

within 6 months it was expected I would be through my steps, and start looking for sponsees, and get 4-5 new commitments, it was also expected I would take the next 6 months and study the traditions, both at traditions meetings and with my sponsor and grandsponsor

at a year it was expected I would upgrade commitments and start getting into service, and have had at least attempt to get 3 sponsees through the steps, although if you succeeded with one you were doing good, start being secretary, get into H and I etc and do the steps again since "more will be revealed" and my brains were beginning to clear, I was also allowed to start sharing at meetings, since I had gone through the steps and taken a sponsee through the steps, it was felt now I had something to offer.

at 2 years I upgraded commitments again, GSR, treasurer, although these were 2 year commitments, at this point it was acceptable to only have 2-3 commitments a week, I could also begin to start taking meetings into jails and institutions. I was also expected to do the steps again, and around this time we started carpooling to Joe and Charlie Big Book seminars every year.

Every single person I hung out with also followed this formula, because we were young, we didn't know any better, these guys were old and mean, and they used to grab me by the ear and drag me out of the meeting when I said or did something particularly stupid and yell at me, my grandsponsor had gotten sober in 1942 and he looked like Yoda and he would get so exasperated with me he would sputter like a tea kettle and sailors driving by 3 counties away would stop and write down what he was saying because it was better then anything they ever heard.

This is just how it was, anyone who didn't work the steps was a "still suffering alcoholic" and we'd watch them go in and out, sometimes they'd get a year here or there, but they weren't willing and it showed, their lives didn't change, they didn't change, many times after a few years of in and out and their lives not changing they'd get it and jump in. Or they would drink or commit suicide.

I've seen a lot of that over the years

We'd have people slip and or relapse, but if they had worked the steps, they always came back, if they didn't, maybe they did, maybe they didn't, it was just a given, you come to AA, you work the steps, you do what you were told, that's just how it was.

We all got sober and out of everyone I know, all those people I used to go to dinner and Denny's, and Ice cream with? I am almost the only that drank, we all have lives, we all stay in touch, in the past 48 hours I have talked to almost 10 of those boys and girls.

so maybe there is something to that silly reading they do in the beginning of every meeting

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path

90 in 90
get commitments
get a sponsor
work the steps
learn the traditions
get sponsees
get into service
go where we go and do what we do

in short

become a member of AA, as in a participating member, I was taught not only would I not stay sober if I stole my sobriety, but it would be the lowest form of disrespect to "get my hot dog and go home", that it was now my responsibility as a MEMBER of AA to give back, and mere meeting attendance didn't make me a member any more then sticking chicken feathers up my ass made me a chicken. That to do that would be like an ingrate teen that just lives off their parents, running in, getting what they need, eating the cookies, drinking the coffee, making a mess then leaving, that it was time for me to grow up.

My gift for all this?

SOBRIETY

They say it works if you work it, I can say that is a true statement, I can say I have never seen it fail for someone who has thoroughly followed it's path

This is all just my experience, there is no opinion, or judgement of anyone, this is just what it was like for me, and all those who got and stayed sober with me.

Things were different 20 years ago even

So I'm reading this, it seems so mean, I seem so mean, everyone seems so mean

The funny thing?

I learned what love means in AA, I learned what a real family is and does in AA, these people carried me when I couldn't carry myself, and I carried them when they couldn't carry themselves, I have let people cry in my arms, and live on my couch, and people have held me when I cried and given me a place in their homes.

I have NO secrets from these people

These people are far more my family then those people who share my name and look like me, and that sounds sad, but it isn't, it's happy. I got to find out what family really means.

I literally didn't know what love was until I came to AA and was sponsored, and started sponsoring, those were the first healthy relationships I have ver had in my life.

Love is an action word, it's what we do, not what we say, and AA is a program of action

that action is love, that love is if you go to any lengths, we'll to go any lengths for you


-- Edited by AGO on Tuesday 11th of May 2010 09:05:20 PM