than Intensive Out Patient therapy. For one thing...maybe 10% of them WANT to be there or even recognize the NEED! How can a guy with three year's probation and four teeth honestly say "my meth use hasn't done anybody any harm."
Something really good came out of it, though. We get this...work-book, for lack of a better term, and while Twitchy McShakesalot was bitching about how "igg-n'nt" his PO is I flipped back a couple of pages to "Exterior" & "Interior" triggers. A big ol' list of 'em. There they were, if I put 'em together, in order. 1) Excitement (I was EXPLORING) 2) Break from routine (out of town, new territory, ALL DAY LONG) 3) Excess cash
So, with an open mind, I learned somethin'. GET TO THAT NOON MEETING NO MATTER WHAT!!! Right now...I can't be trusted to run off the leash.
I do wish that the "facilitator" was in recovery herself. Her answer was "In a way, we're all in recovery from something."
Aloha Rob...Hey I use to facilitate those groups and there are lots of distrations to take the focus off of yourself which isn't something you really want to do either there on in AA cause you know what happens. Kudo's for doing what's required to gain and maintain your sobriety. Do it all. You do know how cunning powerful and baffling this disease is.
I haven't ever used that push off response your facilitator used but I have heard it before. Facilitator has to lead and stay in leadership and you are the client. Focus, Focus, Focus and leave the fault taking and other inventorying in the trash at the door.
Open mind Rob......... you are there for a reason, even if you don't yet see it. Good stuff from the workbook!! And like I was saying when I slipped a month ago, I really needed the ACCOUNTABILITY of Group therapy for ahwile. I learned nothing there that I didn't already know. I have spent 7 months of my life as an inpatient in treatment. I have WORKED as a residential supervisor at the same treatment center. I gained no new knowledge about the disease of addiction. But what I did gain was the accountability until I got a month sober again, and it was well worth it.
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Rob, glad to hear you've started up. I like Jerry's insight. He's a sharp one. ;) I do my orientation later this week; hoping there are people who want to be there, too... But get the most out of it that you can... keep you mind on YOU and you'll do great. How're things with the family going?
than Intensive Out Patient therapy. For one thing...maybe 10% of them WANT to be there or even recognize the NEED! How can a guy with three year's probation and four teeth honestly say "my meth use hasn't done anybody any harm."
Something really good came out of it, though. We get this...work-book, for lack of a better term, and while Twitchy McShakesalot was bitching about how "igg-n'nt" his PO is I flipped back a couple of pages to "Exterior" & "Interior" triggers. A big ol' list of 'em. There they were, if I put 'em together, in order. 1) Excitement (I was EXPLORING) 2) Break from routine (out of town, new territory, ALL DAY LONG) 3) Excess cash
So, with an open mind, I learned somethin'. GET TO THAT NOON MEETING NO MATTER WHAT!!! Right now...I can't be trusted to run off the leash.
I do wish that the "facilitator" was in recovery herself. Her answer was "In a way, we're all in recovery from something."
Peace, Rob
been there done that got the mug shot
My last stint through one of those, one day (I had been sober 18 months, the rehab was court ordered) we were talking about "triggers" and I "shared" the only time I ever felt like drinking was when I left that place, sitting in a room listening to a roomful of people with untreated alcoholism lie about their drinking and drug use for 2 hours made the Bar seem attractive, so I get into this huge row with the counselor who insisted I felt like drinking because I refused to take responsibility for my own drinkoing or someshit, whatever, total frickin hogwash.
Nothing worse then being at the mercy of a drug/alcohol counselor that hasn't the slightest clue what they are talking about sitting in a roomful of people in denial lying to her while she co-signs their bullshit, I'd rather sandpaper my eyeballs and watch paint dry while listening to fingernails screech down a chalkboard.
Ultimately I changed my counselor to one that had 25 years of sobriety in AA, we hit it off immediately and I actually learned a TON from her, she was incredibly helpful to me actually and .....helped me a lot. Lifelong I will remember forever kind of help, but I have to say personally, I despise incompetent rehabs and counselors after having placed myself in their power for like 10 years of my life, as if you couldn't tell, I have had the honor and the privelage of speaking at many rehabs, and going in with friends who were speaking, and it is like visiting a cancer ward after I have recovered from cancer now, to watch all these people wandering around afflicted with this mental illness and to know I have recovered from it and given the power to help others, but Gawd, while stuck inside with them it's like being in that movie " Girl Interrupted" except Angelina Jolie is tore up, has children with her cousin, her other cousin, her brother, and her father and has no teeth.
Makes AA look good, keep going to them thar meetings Rob.
and do these pesky steps
thoroughly
Sorry I wasn't all cheerleadery rah rah and Pom poms, but I spent years in and out of those places and grew to despise them with a passion, shit one of the reasons I proabably got and stayed sober is so the frickin judges would stop sending me to them, I have this thing see, when I drink I HAVE to drive, and while driving I HAVE to run over shit and shoot things, like street signs, phone booths, etc, it comes from growing up in Texas but for some reason they get all excited about that here in the city areas of the left coast and there I am in yet another @^&$%%&^%$ high speed chase again.
I musta went to jail 50-75 times at least
All the judges knew me by name, and actually liked me, but they had to lock me up.
a lot
over and over
hehe ps after note
I ended up going to a judge after I got sober, and I got the only special dispensation to drive an ambulance and fire truck in Marin's History, it's a long story, but I had 9 failure to appears, 32 moving violations, I don't know how many DUI's, but I sobered up, went to College, was accepted by a Fire Dept and the Natl Park Service, and got like 30 letters from people, and was in the natl park service driving an ambulance within 6 months of getting sober.
There is a God, and he has a sense of humor, I spent the next 10 years scraping up people who got drunk and drove off the cliff (I specialized in Helicoptor cliff rescues) with 1000's of those calls for free donating my time and skills to a volunteer Fire Dept to try and give back to a society I had so scandalously treated training hundreds of young men who went on to become Firemen themselves as well.
I have to say that one of the best counselors I have ever had in my life was NOT an alcoholic. She saved my life and brought me out of a horrific PTSD situation to a place of rest and comfort from those demons. And she very much understood a person like myself "self-medicating" to alleviate deeper issues. Doesn't take an alcoholic counselor to help an alcoholic. Just takes an open mind on the part of the alcoholic.
Now step work is a different story. That is where it is imperative to have one alcoholic helping another. But treatment and counseling are not AA.
-- Edited by jonijoni1 on Monday 10th of May 2010 10:54:44 PM
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Hey Rob Sorry you had that experience, but as others pointed out, you can learn from anything if you look for it. Your posting of this reminded me of the poor souls who will never get it. It renewed my resolve not to be one because we all know that life is just one drink away. Tom
-- Edited by turninggrey on Tuesday 11th of May 2010 06:56:34 AM
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I have to say that one of the best counselors I have ever had in my life was NOT an alcoholic. She saved my life and brought me out of a horrific PTSD situation to a place of rest and comfort from those demons. And she very much understood a person like myself "self-medicating" to alleviate deeper issues. Doesn't take an alcoholic counselor to help an alcoholic. Just takes an open mind on the part of the alcoholic.
Now step work is a different story. That is where it is imperative to have one alcoholic helping another. But treatment and counseling are not AA.
-- Edited by jonijoni1 on Monday 10th of May 2010 10:54:44 PM
I agree Joni. I've had so many different counselors for various things all my life, and the one that really helped me change my life was one that had never taken a drink in his life. I thought at first that there was no way he could relate to me...he had no idea what I was going through. Then someone IN the program pointed out that I was NOT keeping an open mind, and all I was doing was building up a resentment. They were right. Once I truly listened and stopped judging him, I saw how God had put him in my life for a reason. I credit him for helping me make the psychic change necessary for me to become willing to do what I had to do to get sober. For me, the counseling helps me deal with reasons I used to use to drink, and AA helps me learn how to live life without drinking today. I try and listen to all the suggestions I'm given today, and see how or if they apply to my life. Not always the easiest thing for me to do, but I try.
-- Edited by Reffner on Wednesday 12th of May 2010 06:21:52 AM
