After much discussion with my sponsor, I have made it my last Group Treatment Session.  Why? Let me explain.

I have been to treatment on several occasions. I have lived ina  treatmetn center for a grand total of 7 months, that was years ago. I have worked in a treatment center as a residential supervisor. I stayed sober for 2 weeks before my current group treatment started, and I am now as of midnight, 30 days clean and sober again.

Because I have made it past the initial stages of DANGER DANGER DANGER, and have been sober for a few years at a time for hte past 10 years, I have the support system I invested in early on, still alive and kicking and available to me now. If not for that, I would definitely need a place to keep me safe from myself while I developed a support group and a regular habit of going to meetings as a requirement of treatment. I am using my support again every day and getting to more and more meetings, and seeing my psychiatrist who is also my counselor. (You would not believe this old guy, he is sooooo much more than a "prescriber".....)

I do not want any person who is struggling horribly and needs treatment to follow i my footsteps if you don't have the things I mentioned here, which is, a  sponsor whom you talk to daily (in my case 2 to 3 times daily!), several GOOD friends in your local area with long term sobriety that you also talkt o, a home group, and a bunch of meetings where you have been many times and feel very comfortable. I have a Big Book and a 12&12. I have a daily reprieve, and a PLAN as outlined by my sponsor, psych/counselor, and the Big Book.

Folks, I am going through a divorce, getting my crap packed and moving boxes across town every single day, and working about 20-25 hours per week on my degree. (In psychology LOLOLOLOL how's that for a degree choice??) I am meeting people for utilities turned on,m internet setup, landlord for repairs and locks changed at the new place, have seen teh dentist 3 times in the past 3 weeks, psychiatric appointments, and MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS. Something had to give. I can only sleep about 4-5 hours to get everything done, and I am one of those "babies" who has to suck her thumb for an hour and then get a good 8 hours to be emotionally functional (well, sort of).

Group took up 14 hours a week, with 3-hour sessions and travel time. I can not afford that 14 hours for what the payoff was for me, which was a lot of repetition about the brain and addiction and movies and so forth. Peeing in a cup (nothing wrong with that), and getting meeting papers signed... when I am already going to meetings regardless. This is geared for folks who don't know how to work the program yet. I do. (and yes, knowing and doing are 2 different things).

So I said goodbye today, and have my counselor's blessing as far as having all the TOOLS, believe it or not. He is a man with 20 years sober, who broke his neck in a car accident on his last drunk. He is an active member of AA.

So.... I am actually able to sit and breath tongiht before I got to BED at a decent hour. I will no longer find myself up til the rooster crows, trying to cram the latest paper through, or running one mroe load over to the apartment. Good gracious, I was so tired last night I stayed over there with my dog, and slept on the hardwood floor, on a sheet with a blanket over me. OUCH!! LOL

My sponsor is on board, and will be holding me to 4 meetings per week, and step work.

By the way, she is going on vacation to New Orleans this weekend, and will be seeing a lot of devastation, as she walks the beaches if the Gulf (or attempts to) where the oil is taking over all of life there. Please say a prayer for those people and that wildlife down there, it is a crying shame that our choices and obsession with a resource has come to this (IMO).

Love and hugs and on with the "AA Way"....
Joni