Dr Bob's Last message was:

"But there are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis; one is the simplicity of our Program. Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual AA work. Our 12 Steps, when simmered down to the last, resolve themselves into the words love and service. We understand what love is and we understand what service is. So let's bear those two things in mind.

Love:

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

Service:

I was taught when I go to a meeting it was not to see what I could get from the meeting, but what I could add to the meeting, if I had 3 days, I was to talk to the guy with 1 day, when I had 2 weeks, I talk to the guy with 3 days, I was taught meetings were to carry the message to the still suffering alcoholic, not to talk about my day. I was taught my biggest problem was I was selfish and self centered, so the answer to that is to get out of "self" by helping others, if I go to meetings just to see what I can get from the meeting and whine about my day, it's "the problem" not "the solution". If I go to meetings to see how I can help others, I am actively getting out of "self", thus addressing my biggest problem, the defect in thinking that lead to my downfall.

When Bob wrote about Love and Service he was talking about a lot more then just giving your phone number to an alcoholic and telling him "keep coming back" he writes about how he never would have been able to stay sober without selflessly helping others

While Bill's release from the desire to drink had been immediate, Dr. Bob's was not. By his own account, the craving was almost always with him during his first two and a half years of sobriety-although he added, "At no time have I been anywhere near yielding."

One often hears that Dr. Bob never did get over the urge to drink. But his later reactions to thoughts of drinking indicated that the urge was neither constant nor violent. In 1948, he admitted that "I still think a double Scotch would taste awfully good. . . .

"But I have no legitimate reason to believe that the results would be any different," he said. When such an idea did occur, he took it as a sign that he hadn't been paying enough attention to the men in the ward at St. Thomas.

This confirms Bill's theory that his partner was so eager to help others because he found it the best way to stay sober. Dr. Bob held on to this discovery and developed it into the deep conviction shown in his last talk, saying that the Twelve Steps "when simmered down . . . resolve themselves into the words 'love' and 'service.'"

Simmered down-to the essence!

Even in Larry's Hazeldon yesterday it addressed this:

It is possible that you can't speak at meetings, maybe you are not in a position to "carry the message," ( the message being the spiritual awakening as the result of the twelve steps) but you can and should show your happy sobriety in the radiance of your smile.

So even if you haven't worked the steps yet and shouldn't be sharing at group level (according to Larry's Hazeldon writing, which is what I was taught as well actually) yet you should be smiling at the newcomer and even introducing yourself to him/her after the meeting

I was taught "Faith without Works is dead" in that it didn't matter what came out of my mouth if my actions weren't helpful to others.

Love and service

A friend of mine wrote:

It has been said that the letter of the law kills but the spirit gives life. I've attended some Traditions meetings and workshops that were dry and boring, mainly because we were studying them like law. I believe The Traditions are living principles, not laws or rules. They are principles that I can live by in a society that has no rules. They are ideals for a society in which love is the only law. As Bill wrote, great love and great suffering bind us together.

We are experiencing a great deal of dis-unity in Alcoholics Anonymous. I could be way off the mark, but here is part of the problem as I see it. A.A.'s tend to take one of two approaches. Some are rigid and legalistic, believing The Traditions are laws to be broken and violated and rules to be enforced. Others are coming from the opposite end of the spectrum, either blissfully ignorant or blatantly disdainful of The Traditions, taking a "I'll do whatever I please and to hell with you" approach, or one of coming from place of good intentions but woefully ignorant of vital principles. I believe the answer is somewhere in the middle, which is where we find The Spirit of The Traditions.

To begin with, I can tell you all I know about The Traditions in about two minutes. I experienced them before I knew about them. A month or so before I go sober I was attending meetings at the local fellowship hall. Sometimes I would be intoxicated and when I am intoxicated I can be a bit, let's say "mouthy." One evening I was at a meeting and was being a bit loud. Two guys got up from their seats and took me aside. They took me downstairs and got me a cup of coffee, One of them said to me "Look, you are welcome at our group, but you have to understand that you are messing it up for everyone else. Please come back to the meeting when you can behave. You don't have to be sober, but you must behave." Then they spent the rest of the meeting sitting downstairs talking with me. In hindsight I realize two things. First, these men gave up their entire meeting to talk with a drunk. That is love of the highest nature. Second, they were practicing Tradition One in which the good of the group comes before the good of any individual.

So what I'm presenting here are some ideas about The Traditions based on observation and experience. Also some myths and misconceptions about The Traditions, at least the way I see them. Most often, our experience with both Steps and Traditions is based on hearsay and from the short forms that we hang on the walls of our meeting rooms. This has lead to widespread misconceptions and fallacies in today's A.A. There is much more to The Traditions than what we see in the short form that we read in the meetings. In fact, I've found there to be as much or more in The Traditions as I've found in The Steps.

One common misconception is that The Traditions are only for people who are involved in the service structure or are sober for a long time. I've found them to be merely extensions of the principles that what we've began to practice in The Steps, thus a logical progression. For me, the statement "The Traditions are to the group as The Steps are to the individual," leaves out a whole set of principles that I can apply in my daily life.

It is helpful to know A.A. history when looking at Traditions. Most were born of fear and of the necessity to preserve our fellowship for future generations and to protect it from forces, both from within and from without that could destroy it. Many of our Traditions were arrived after trial and error, by making mistakes.

The Traditions are about unity and preserving our fellowship for future generations. Without unity, we can't survive as a fellowship. For the individual, The Steps are a unifying experience. My recovery depends upon my unity with you and your unity with me. The Steps get rid of what is in the way of me being in unity with you and The Traditions help to keep that experience alive. A true fellowship is a gathering of like-minded people. If there is sponsorship in the group, there will be recovery, and there will be unity, and there will be service. Unity means much more than being in the same room with a bunch of people sharing a common problem. It means sharing in a common solution as well. Sadly, in many places in A.A. these days it is hard to find a common problem, much less a common solution.

Once word or principle that you don't hear mentioned much in A.A. is stewardship, to take care of what we've been given. The fellowship is about having a place where recovered alcoholics can carry a message to the still suffering alcoholics. If the recovered alcoholics have no place to carry their message, they whither and die. If the still sick and suffering alcoholic has no place to hear a message, he whithers and dies. So our Traditions are about making sure that what we have will be here for someone who isn't even born yet.

He got a reply I really liked that also matched my experience, I have also experienced that magic, those miracles, once at a meeting a man no one had ever seen before shared and he turned around, looked right at me and started yelling at me to get out of my own way, it was like he reached inside my brain, he knew what I was thinking, he was saying things out loud about me I had never told anyone, it was nothing short of miraculous, after the meeting I waited by the front door to talk to him and I never saw him leave, I went inside and there was no one there

Here is the response:

Great idea to continue looking at all the Traditions. There is something I have never talked about directly in a meeting but my sponsor, grand-sponsor, and sponsees and some AA friends have had many discussions about.

One of the first casualties from ignorance of the Traditions in all AA activities is the disappearance of the spirit throughout AA. Like our drinking is but a symptom of a deeper underlying illness the problems throughout AA are but symptoms of not comprehending and implementing the spirit of the Traditions in our groups and all service activities. When the vacuum is created from lack of God and an AA group becomes just a meeting of people rather than a spiritual entity the void is filled with lots of useless stuff brought into the group by emotions, the intellect, and personalities.

When I got sober many folks in AA that have been around for a while talked about the magic in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. In my first couple years I begin having experiences in some groups that would just blow me away. Like when I decided to change my oil in front of my sponsors garage at his apartment. I couldnt get the oil filter off and someone suggested I put a screwdriver through it. I did but all it did was tear it up so I couldnt even get the thing made for that over it. I had to leave the car and get a ride to an H & I commitment. The next day I finally got it off after getting a ticket for parking in front of his garage. After I got it off I put 4 quarts of oil in when my sponsor called me in for a phone call. Then I realized I forgot to put in the oil plug and there was a river of oil running down the parkway. Anyway I got it going after cleaning up the mess and getting more oil but I was pretty frazzled and drove right to an AA meeting.

This guy I never saw before was sharing about how some days nothing seems to go right. Then he turned toward me across the room and looked right into my eyes and said; some days I even have problems doing something simple like changing the oil in my car.

I would have chalked that up as just a coincidence but it happened many times since then in other meetings with other people. After a couple years sober and some experiences as a result of the Steps I went to a meeting in a small town about an hour away and it was kind of strange. A few new people were there and about 15 others. Every time a new person would share about some problem I would think of what the Big Book said about it and raise my hand to share. Then the next person to share would say exactly what I was thinking. In the meeting it felt calm and peaceful like something was there I wasnt aware of. The meeting continued with people saying exactly what I was thinking and I felt good and didnt feel like I had to share at all.

I then talked to a guy outside that had been sober 20 something years for over an hour and part of what he told me about was the spiritual healing power in AA. I went to my sponsors house that evening and told him about the meeting and people sharing what I was thinking. He just smiled and said, Now youre starting to see how it works.

I have had many experiences since and sometimes when there is a problem or someone is having a problem I use the silence before the closing prayer to ask for Gods direction or just that His will be done in this situation and visualize the member and group as surrounded in light. I have experienced some event or awareness that would change the situation sometimes within an hour after the meeting but usually over a couple days if I remain connected enough to recognize it.

This is just a brief example of something that has unfolded over many years. It is directly related to the group conscience, group consciousness, the fellowship of the spirit, and all the Traditions that help maintain the spiritual environment that allows Tradition Two take place in our groups.

I used to feel this when I walked into many meetings even ones that I have never been to before but these meetings are getting fewer and fewer. My sponsor said a meeting needs a certain number of members that have had a spiritual experience as a result of the Steps to carry the group conscience and to bring the spirit of Tradition Two into the total consciousness of the room.

The sad thing is if members have never experienced this how would they know if it was missing? I believe this gives the Traditions a whole different perception.

I also noticed something else. When I met members of the Big Book Study Group and members of Seccion Mexico my sponsor and I both felt a spiritual connection with them right away. That same week we went to visit our NY Headquarters and none of us felt this except for one man that later went to a meeting with us and then out to dinner. There is something there to contemplate for those that are interested.

I know that many members here will understand this that is why I feel OK about bringing it up. Sorry this was so long

-- Edited by AGO on Tuesday 4th of May 2010 11:12:01 AM