We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 73-74
Honesty, like all virtues, is to be shared. It began after I shared ". . . [my] whole life's story with someone . . . " in order to find my place in the Fellowship. Later I shared my life in order to help the newcomer find his place with us. This sharing helps me to learn honesty in all my dealings and to know that God's plan for me comes true through honest openness and willingness.
When I was drinking, I always tried to build myself up. I used to tell tall stories about myself. I told them so often that I half believe some of them now, even though I know they aren't true. I used to hang around the lowbrow barrooms so I could feel superior to the other customers. The reason I always tried to build myself up was that I knew deep down in my heart that I really didn't amount to anything. It was a kind of defense against my feeling of inferiority. Do I still build myself up?
Meditation For The Day
God thought about the universe and brought it into being. His thought brought me into being. I must think God's thought after Him. I must often keep my mind occupied with thoughts about God and meditate on the way He wants me to live. I must train my mind constantly in quiet times of communion with God. It is the work of a lifetime to develop to full stature spiritually. This is what I am on earth for. it gives meaning to my life.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may think God's thoughts after Him. I pray that I may live as He wants me to live.
Hazelden
(Let it be a God or Higher Power of your own understanding)
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Also in the reading about step five we discover why it is so vital to sponsor others: Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God. This vital Step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done
Step Five is The Bomb
But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one. A.A. experience has taught us we cannot live alone with our pressing problems and the character defects which cause or aggravate them. If we have swept the searchlight of Step Four back and forth over our careers, and it has revealed in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember, if we have come to know how wrong thinking and action have hurt us and others, then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever.
We have to talk to somebody about them. So intense, though, is our fear and reluctance to do this, that many A.A.'s at first try to bypass Step Five. We search for an easier way--which usually consists of the general and fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes bad actors. Then, for good measure, we add dramatic descriptions of that part of our drinking behavior which our friends probably know about anyhow. But of the things which really bother and burn us, we say nothing. Certain distressing or humiliating memories, we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with anyone. These will remain our secret. Not a soul must ever know. We hope they'll go to the grave with us.
Yet if A.A.'s experience means anything at all, this is not only unwise, but is actually a perilous resolve. Few muddled attitudes have caused us more trouble than holding back on Step Five. Some people are unable to stay sober at all; others will relapse periodically until they really clean house. Even A.A. old timers, sober for years, often pay dearly for skimping this Step. They will tell how they tried to carry the load alone; how much they suffered of irritability, anxiety, remorse, and depression; and how, unconsciously seeking relief, they would sometimes accuse even their best friends of the very character defects they themselves were trying to conceal. They always discovered that relief never came by confessing the sins of other people. Everybody had to confess his own.
This practice of admitting one's defects to another person is, of course, very ancient. It has been validated in every century, and it characterizes the lives of all spiritually centered and truly religious people. But today religion is by no means the sole advocate of this saving principle. Psychiatrists and psychologists point out the deep need every human being has for practical insight and knowledge of his own personality flaws and for a discussion of them with an understanding and trustworthy person. So far as alcoholics are concerned, A.A. would go even further.
Most of us would declare that without a fearless admission of our defects to another human being we could not stay sober. It seems plain that the grace of God will not enter to expel our destructive obsessions until we are willing to try this. What are we likely to receive from Step Five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship, but never getting it--at least to our way of thinking. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. It was as if we were actors on a stage, suddenly realizing that we did not know a single line of our parts. That's one reason we loved alcohol too well. It did let us act extemporaneously. But even Bacchus boomeranged on us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified loneliness.
When we reached A.A., and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was tremendously exciting. We thought the isolation problem had been solved. But we soon discovered that while we weren't alone any more in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness
that's when it states:
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God. This vital Step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done
-- Edited by AGO on Tuesday 4th of May 2010 12:09:04 PM
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Also in the reading about step five we discover why it is so vital to sponsor others: Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God. This vital Step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done
Andrew,
Good Post!!
"Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong."
I had not given this statement much thought before. It sure matches what I experienced in doing the 5th step and listening to a sponsee's 5th step.
Thank you
Larry, ---------------------------------- Nobody ever said life was easythey just promised that it would be worth it.
