Aloha Jamison and along with H2Oman let me also welcome you home to MIP.  One thing
I learned when I very first got into recovery was that if I didn't reach out to these many
strangers and beg for help I would die crazy the most important undesireable condition
on my soul at that time.  I didn't mind dying you see it was the crazy part I didn't want
to take with me.  Lots of us here have "other" conditions and disabilities and these will
manifest themselves at always the wrong times.  I use to claustrophobic and also am
dysthymic (a form of depression) but the program has never increased the problem in
fact the program has given me solutions to both and others.  We tend to be a sick lot
who have tried to self medicate without prescription and usually in liquid form.  You're
in the right place and you have mentioned "practice" which we are very very big on.
Practice the program in all our affairs; practice the principles; the steps and traditions
and slogans.   If you practice you come already with a major recovery tool.  So how
can we help you as you also help us?  Many of the Gals here in program have one
and maybe two open females only meetings and the Gals here are powerful in
recovery with awesome support for each other and unconditional love.  I love to
watch them walk the program and don't discount the other meetings because HP
uses everyone and anyone within reach to support your recovery.

Glad you are here and grateful for your trust.    ((((hugs))))

-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 01:14:46 AM

Hi Jamison,
Welcome to the board. You know it's interesting to me that we have quite a few newcomers come to this board and tell us that they have  various diagnosed anxiety disorders (hope I'm labeling it correctly). When I got sober 20+ years ago most of these named disorders either didn't exist (like S.A.D.) or they were very rare and I never remember hearing of one mentioned in a meeting. We all had the symptoms (along with ADD or ADHD) and many of us were cross addicted to drugs and relationships (codependency) and had undiagnosed depression. But we just called it FEAR and the disease of alcoholism.  I remember my first couple of months in meetings, I'd hide in the back of the rooms shaking and sweating, terrified that someone would try and get me to speak (which never happened as it's not required).  I was this big construction worker who was afraid of my shadow.  During those first few months, I lived alone in an old house that I was certain was possessed with every little noise or creak that I heard.  All that went away after about 90 days, but my codependency took a lot of work in another program.  

My mother (who is 35 years sober this year) had several nervous breakdowns in the '60's requiring lengthy stays in mental wards. She continued to be a mental patient though the '70's on maintenance meds until she was about a year sober and then didn't need them anymore. If she was bi-polar, that may not have been possible, but she does very well, still using a sponsor and working the steps, and of course going to meetings. I guess what I'm trying to say is that these new labels for good old fear are just a way for Dr.'s to have something to talk about while they  typically  hand out pills creating more dependents and prescription drug addicts that very well may have been able to get sober and lose these fears.  Trouble is that many of us don't tell the Doctors that we are alcoholics or abusing alcohol.  Many drink on top of their meds (which is drug abuse).   I'm not giving medical advise here, but consider that you didn't have this disorder that you speak of and then all of the sudden you did, along with an alcohol problem. Coincidence? probably not. This disease of alcoholism thrives on fear and all of the character defects are rooted deeply in it. Putting down the drink, working the steps with a sponsor, walking through your fears, developing  a daily relationship with your Higher Power and your fears (and your labels for them) will leave you. And it's possible you won't be needing that Doc after a year or two.

To get a sponsor all you have to do is ask. My suggestion is look for one in a step meeting, that way you know that she is working the steps herself. Keep coming back.



-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 04:52:49 AM

Welcome Jamison! to a wonderful lifelong journey of recovery.Not always rosy but always better than your best day drunk!Keep coming back ,let us knoww how your doing ,congrats on 12 days!!!!

Welcome!!!! :)

Hi Jamison,

Will write later, have to go now, but just wanted to say Welcome to MIP...sounds like you have come to just the right place and 12 days, that is fantastic.....

One thing, maybe you could call the AA Hotline and say you need a ride, someone would come, and take you to your first meeting .......We need Each Other...does your town have an Alano Club? that is another place you could  call for a ride....

Hugs and will write later dear,

Toni

Welcome Jamison,

You're among friends now.  Keep posting and help us stay sober

Larry,
-----------------
You never have to drink again.

Welcome to the board!

Jamison wrote:

---

Thank you (((all))) for your advice, welcomes and kind words.

I will try some of the suggestions and see if someone can take me to a meeting or try a mixed gender meeting.

I know I can't do this alone and will get to a meeting ASAP!!!

(Agoraphobia is too hard to explain but I can't overcome unless I am sober)

Hugs,

Jamison





-- Edited by Jamison on Thursday 29th of April 2010 08:39:33 AM

---

Jamison,

I had no idea what Agoraphobia was so I looked it up on the Mayo Clinic web site.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/agoraphobia/DS00894

On the left side are links to pages about this.  I noticed under coping that it says
Alcohol and Illicit Drugs makes your condition worse.

My prayers will be with you that you can overcome and get to an AA meeting.

If you find you just can't do it perhaps a phone call to your AA central office as listed in the phone book and a brief explaination of  your condition followed by a request may induce some very nice AA members to bring AA to you in the safety of your home.

In either case keep us informed because WE REALLY DO CARE!!

Larry,
---------------
FEAR = Failure Expected And Received
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real
FEAR = Fear Expressed Allows Relief
FEAR = Feelings Every Alcoholic Rejects
FEAR = Fighting Ego Against Reality
FEAR = Forget Everything and Run
FEAR = Face Everything and Recover
FEAR = Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered

 

Welcome Jamison. I agree with Dean (haven't said that in a while, but it's one of my standard responses). I came here to MIP initially stating I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder....which I guess I do...but in 19 months sober, it has gradually lessened and lessened little by little. Alcoholism is a disease that will force you to the point of being alone (or taken care of by others) in your house with just you and the bottle when it gets to the later stages. It turned me from having been an extrovert at one time (life of the party) to a total recluse and introvert. Changing back into an extroverted person (not shy) happened pretty fast. Anyhow, I am only saying this to give you added hope as a person who is dually diagnosed. There is a saying in AA which is "More will be revealed." I do not know how much I have clinical anxiety and depression versus how much I drank myself into those problems. I DO know countless alcoholics now who also suffered crippling anxiety and drank on top of abusing anti-anxiety meds and the anxiety did lessen substantially or go away completely with sobriety. So, I would just say not to let agorophobia keep you from a meeting. Also, the prescribed treatment for phobias is typically exposure response prevention anyhow and I cannot think of a safer, more kind place to practice and regain social skills and the ability to feel part of society once again than in the fellowship of AA. Please keep us updated and I think you are about to embark on something really wonderful here. It has been that way for me.

Mark

Jamison,

You are in my prayers.   You can do it,  One day at a time and a with a little practice.

Let us know how your meeting goes.  We care about you!

Larry,
---------------
Before you say: I can't ............say I'll try