I had a pretty bad drinking dream last night that was SO real!! Some of my friends went to a show last night they wanted me to go to. For several reasons, I didn't. But in the dream I went and I relapsed. It was my friend Kate's birthday and I remember I took her to the bar and bought her a shot and then proceeded to buy myself one. Apparently I bought several more, because in the dream I must've come out of a black out and I could barely walk or stand up. At first I thought I'd been drugged, but then I realised the painful truth! I remember being so ashamed that I'd relapsed and I was embarrased for people to see me in that condition!! It was terrible! I lost my purse and had to find it in my drunken stupor and then I had to go close out a very hefty bar tab. I just remember having to fight through all the people trying to find these things and the music was blaring and I was a mess! UGH! I haven't had a drinking dream in ages! I forgot how startling they can be!! Especially one that is so realistic!
when i have dreams like that the first thing i do is Thank God for it!!! For the reminder of where i can go, for it being JUST a dream. For the reminder that only Ham Is CURED.
the further away from my last use, the closer I am to my next.
I very seldom have dreams were I'm drinking anymore. My daughter quit smoking 5 years ago, she smokes in all of her dreams. She says she is glad she can still do it somewhere and it will not affect her lungs.
Dreams can be so real, but they are only dreams, afterall.
I have relapsed before after a long period of sobriety. What I felt coming back to the rooms was not "shame", as I had helped enough other alcoholics in my time who had "come back", and I knew I would be loved and accepted. It is wonderful to stay sober, continuously, for the rest of one's life. But those who choose to drink again (as Dr. Bob did) should dust themselves off, as I did, and head back to the rooms. No shame required!!!
Using dreams are most prominent to me when I am experiencing a lot of stress in my life. For me, I simply use them as a HALT indicator.
Also, I have lost my purse and fallen down...sober!!! Do not be alarmed!!!
Just remember how you felt in that dream, and know that there is someone out there coming back to A.A. who feels that way, and needs acceptance and unconditional love.
