Long time matter fact, been through recovery programs, treatment facilitys, half way houses, homelessness, state ran prisons, hospitals and institutions and near death.
At 38 I got sober stayed dry 5 years and relapsed when life got to tough and I had no spiritual program stayed out 1 night and came back , been working on the NA board through MIP for about 2 years yeah drug addict too and when life started hitting the fan again and I was about to relapse I figured it was time to take this more seriously and I did all that is suggested, get a sponsor and work the steps, go to meeting daily, get into service and get a higher power. So far its working and things are changing for me I am now on step 9 but also work 10, 11 and 12.
I have issues especailly how i express myself , i am a yeller control freak and like to play god i have learned to SURRENDER to people places things situations etc. etc. I have learned and am learning to love through working these steps and going to meetings, i'm being tought daily how to live life on it's terms and that pretty much means i'm powerless over a lot of things but thats ok, I depend on my higher powers ( God) will to be done I just do the footwork and leave the results up to him.
Nope not doing it perfect, but i'm doing the best I can today and 6 months ago I was getting ready to go back out and kill myself and this program and my higher power saved my life, i finally surrendered leaving NO reservations to fall back on, I can never successfully drink or use again EVER and i'm ok with that because sobriety is wonderful.
July 5th i will have 4 years sober, in the last 9 I drank one night and used dope for about 1 week pain meds, it's been quite a journey but one thing i know is this nothing changes until we totally surrender to this fact, I am powerless but a power greater then me can and will restore a better life then what I had using and i never have to use or drink again as long as I live spiritually.
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And God said to me "I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger" , Uh yeah I got sober LOL....
Congratulations on your sobriety. Appreciate you sharing your story. I'm just getting started, but am learning to SURRENDER and depend on my higher power. I'm also learning to look for the similarities in peoples stories and I see plenty of similarities in yours. I do not want to drink again and am greatful to be learning how to do that.
Morning Vinnie! Thanks man for your continuing message of hope and of carrying an honest message of recovery.Like it said in the march 19th 'just for today: We all have something valuable to share ,a simple honest message of recovery from addiction.Its a blessing to have you in my support system like all of our family here ,there and anywhere......peace my friend...Have a blessed and productive day...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I have issues especailly how i express myself , i am a yeller control freak and like to play god i have learned to SURRENDER to people places things situations etc. etc. I have learned and am learning to love through working these steps and going to meetings, i'm being tought daily how to live life on it's terms and that pretty much means i'm powerless over a lot of things but thats ok, I depend on my higher powers ( God) will to be done I just do the footwork and leave the results up to him.
Big V
Progress not perfection the big book says. I'll bet you did not know that " i am a yeller control freak and like to play god" before you started working the program. I sure didn't know my defects until they were brought to light by the steps.
With three years continuous sobriety you know how to stay sober. A slip now would be a decision on your part. I hope you continue the path you are following because it gets better and "YOU AIN"T SEEN NOTHING YET!!"
Larry, ----------------- Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.
To address michael just do what the prgram suggests and dont drink inbetween , an no it isn't easy if it were a lot more people would be sober then there are, you just have to want it 24/7 and that sometimes takes many hard poundings to clear away the reservations we have, and we can have many.
My thoughts this morning are to stay in prayer my mind wonders and I lose contact with God and start doing my own thang LOL, the nature of my disease is my self centeredness I found that out in step 4 and that was a huge awakening for me its something I keep close eye on and its real hard to see at times but just about anytime i'm having difficultys THAT is the problem and it takes spirtual principles to get out of that place and get selfless and honestly i dont always want to HEH HEH charecter defect i just dont want to let go of because of my rights, this is just human nature but for me human nature has become a defect.
Anyhow i welcome the newcomers and retreads been there done it, done doing it, keep coming back and eventually we stay for the ride, the roller coaster gets lower in time the ride gets easier but the ride never stops for us ...
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And God said to me "I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger" , Uh yeah I got sober LOL....
BigV I posted in this thread yesterday and the post is gone, where I don't know. Anyhow, glad that you made it through that tough time 6 months ago. I knew that you were struggling with a relationship but didn't know it was grinding on your sobriety.
Hello BigV. I definitely needed this today. I'm on Day 10 and for some reason I'm feeling a little tested today. I have pneumonia so I can't get to a meeting, so I will let this be my inspiration to stay sober today. Thank you for sharing your story!
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