So April Begins. I'm scared of 30 days of self-examination and digging deeper into my darkness to extract more monsters out from under the bed and drag them into the daylight to wither and die. I will get bitten in the process. Hard.
I did #4 about 5 months agao and now I prepare to do it again. I like to whittle my actions & attitudes down to identify which of the 7 Deadly Sins; Envey, Wrath, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Gluttony or Hubris are at the core of my actions.
Today's monster-under-the-bed looked like Lust, at first, but was actually Wrath. Fearless Searching...
I have to write this down and next month my Sponsor will be back in town and act as Father-Confessor.
You said "I will get bitten in the process. Hard.". Why? Did you hold back on Step 1, or 2, or 3? If you did not, you will not get bit. If you did, then back up the truck. Simple. Either way, nothing to fear. Like Mike sez, the freedom is exquisite. For me, holding on to fear (or self-pity, anger etc.) is actually me being arrogant, by presuming that I am more powerful than God and therefore just doing the 1-2-3 and back again shuffle.
Im confused ( and sometimes it doesn't take much ) ...........
Where in the book does it say we have to do repeated 4th steps ?
Lori,
No place says that, But if a person wants to do that then more power to them.
Frequently an alcoholic feels that their 4th step was either not complete or not entirely honest and they want to redo it. As a sponsor I would encourage it under those circumstances.
Larry, ------------------ We're only as sick as our secrets.
"More will be revealed" comes as a result of "More will be found if it is sought". I was 37 when I got into recovery...I had stuff buried deep and stored in places I wouldn't have imagined without the help of the program as suggested (ongoing 4ths) and a Unconditionally loving Higher Power who would reveal needed events to me as I got stronger. Just one of those became discovery 21 years after I had acted it out. It would only have come to light the way my HP directed it including the journey of 5 thousand miles to apologize and offer amends which was completed in two attempts. This is a program of suggestion. I only ask how. My last 4th was directed by 3 sponsors and my Higher Power and what I was to look for was only one thing; The taproot of all of my failings. When that one was extracted all others receive a death blow discovered or yet to happen.
Thanks for the thread H2O Guy...I believe it sounded like an alarm.
Hey, I did the 4th step ad infinitum because if I finished it, I was going to have to do the 5th step and that was the one I really was afraid to do. And then if I did my 5th step I'd have to go on down to amends and I was REALLY afraid to do that one.
I went on that way from 1982 to 1983. I finally got to my real bottom and then doing the steps was preferable to living in hell so I did them all right away to the very best of my ability. When I did, I started real sobriety.
The 4th step and I did quite the dance for that long time. I'd keep asking people "How do you do the 4th Step? Where can I get some directions for it?"
They'd say "The directions are in the Big Book."
I'd say "Where in the Big Book? I can't find them."
They'd say, "They're in there. Go find them."
I'd go looking in the Big Book and I'd come back and say, "The directions aren't in there. I can't find them. What page are they on?"
They'd say, "Yes they are there! Go find them!"
That pissed me off so I went rooting around till I found someone who gave me this great big long 4th step thing---pages and pages---that they got in a treatment center. I didn't finish it. I lost interest because most of it didn't even apply to me, I figured.
When I got desperate enough to quit using the Big Book for bathroom reading material, then I found the directions! They're in there!
And you can't work the 12 steps while sitting on the toilet, just for anyone out there who may be like me and think you can!
Some people do take their 4th step more than once. It's up to the AA member whether they do or not. Step 10 says we "continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it" so if a person wants to do it in the form of a 4th step, there's certainly no harm in that. I've even heard people say that they do a 4th and 5th both if they feel it will do them the best good every so often.
By all means if Rob or anyone feels the need for a further housecleaning then absolutely ... Go for it !! So far my own experience hasn't prompted me to feel the need for another 4th step, cuz I use the 10th step daily. If I feel fine, and am in good shape spiritually the 10th is really all I need.
Ahhhh, thent that would be steps 6 & 7 and a very good book to help with those is called : Drop the Rock . I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to further their education where character defects are involved
