up to 7 days this is so hard

acarpe3448 · Member

up to 7 days this is so hard

AGO · MIP Old Timer

Have you gone to an AA meeting?

acarpe3448 · Member

I used to go all the time. But since I stopped a week ago, I just got out of the hospital today. I will be going tommmorrow.

AGO · MIP Old Timer

Aight, hang in there until tomorrow, and go to a meeting, don't drink until then.

Without AA it always got harder for me and truthfully I could never pull it off, with AA and getting a sponsor and working the steps, it was very easy for me. It was like magic, I wasn't alone any more.

Ellen E · Senior Member

You only have to do it one day at a time. Don't worry about anything but going to sleep tonight sober. Today is done and that's all that counts. Tomorrow is another day and it will be better.

And then when you wake up in the morning, don't take a drink and go to a meeting at your first opportunity. Some towns have breakfast meetings and those are a great way to start the day. If not a breakfast meeting, then lots of times you can find a lunch meeting. Do you have a meeting schedule? If you don't, call your Central Office and ask them about where the meetings are and what times. Then at meetings you can usually get written schedules.

Get phone numbers. Don't be afraid to ask for them and then make good use of them. People wouldn't give you their number if they didn't want you to call them.

All these things helped me so much when I was new. I'd be just going nuts but then when I got to a meeting or heard someone on the other end of the phone, a weight lifted off my shoulders and I could last awhile longer.

Yes, it definitely does get easier with every day and especially if you do these things.

Oh, and welcome! And congratulations on having seven days! You're a miracle and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Larry_H · MIP Old Timer

Seven days down great!!

It keeps getting better as long as I don't drink and go to meetings.

Ellen has some real knowledge about how to stay sober and enjoy life. Be sure to pay attention.

Let us know how it is going we care!!

Larry.
---------------------------
Every alcoholic will eventually quit drinking, but it's better to do it when we're still alive

LastOneLeft · Veteran Member

Things get easier and better sith time, at least they have with me.I've got a little over 3 weeks now and things are deeffinatley better than they were a month ago.I hit a meeting everyday.I also Pray ALOT, Im not even sure who Im praying to but it seems to work so I keep it up.
Good Luck!

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Art,
Welcome to the board. It does get easier if one is WILLING to do the work. The work is not hard but requires discipline and the letting go of our old ideas. It being humble- teachable. Your worth it so get started. All good suggestions above. Don't drink- or think, Go to a meeting and ask for help. The Fellowship and a HP will guide you from there.

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

With steps and sponsor it get's easier, without it get's miserable. Least, that's my experience.

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Things do get easier. Your body and brain learned how to live with booze, and now it takes time to teach them the opposite. You need to just let time work by following the steps, and working on yourself. GO TO MEETINGS! Get a sponsor. Folow the program. Get in touch with or try and find your HP. Go back on this forum or others and find out your situation has been conquered over and over again through this program. You are not alone. Let the world go. Keep it simple. Hang in there!
Tom

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hand in there acarpe, it's difinently easier to stay sober than it is to keep drinking. Stay busy even if it's playing a game of checkers.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

I agree with Biker as my own experience.   Hang on we are with you on this and
it does get easier IF I do it as suggested. I have to remember to use the sober
minds and expierences of the recovering member in the fellowship. If I attempt
to use the thinking, feelings, behaviors and spirit that brought me into AA I will
find myself hanging around outside the door rather than inside the meeting.

Use the fellowship. It is one of our Higher Powers.   Keep coming back, sit down
listen with an open mind, learn, practice and of course don't drink and don't think
other than to repeat the cycle.    You'll make it to day 8 if you practice that.

smile

acarpe3448 · Member

Thanks for the input please keep it coming. One of the worst parts
of my whole situation has been the damage I have caused on my family.
My wife has left me, going through an expensive divorce, she wont let me see
my kids except by court order. What a mess I have made. At least today
I felt better and my hands stoped shacking. What lies ahead?

AGO · MIP Old Timer

acarpe3448 wrote:

Thanks for the input please keep it coming. One of the worst parts
of my whole situation has been the damage I have caused on my family.
My wife has left me, going through an expensive divorce, she wont let me see
my kids except by court order. What a mess I have made. At least today
I felt better and my hands stoped shacking. What lies ahead?

Well, what lies ahead depends on you really.

When I didn't go to meetings I just got "more of the same" and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it always did until it got so bad I finally went and asked for help.

I received help in every one of those issues by getting a sponsor, working the steps, and helping others and I'm as dumb as a box of hair and was hopeless, if it can work for me it can work for anybody.

LastOneLeft · Veteran Member

acarpe3448 wrote:

Thanks for the input please keep it coming. One of the worst parts
of my whole situation has been the damage I have caused on my family.
My wife has left me, going through an expensive divorce, she wont let me see
my kids except by court order. What a mess I have made. At least today
I felt better and my hands stoped shacking. What lies ahead?

Im in the same boat. Im just now starting to deal with all the damage Ive caused.Ive destroyed everything too.My first week was really hard,I didnt realize how hooked I was.I believe getting sober was a matter of life and death for me,Now I just have to "Stay Sober" One day at a time.
The Most Important thing for me now is to stay sober and repair the relationships I care to salvage.Screw everything else.
I've been praying the Serenity Prayer over and over for a month now, Probably at least 100 times a day.I believe its helped alot.Keeps me grounded.
you can do this....

itsmichael · Veteran Member

Hey, Art:

Today's my seventh day without alcohol and fifth day without pot. I've been doing an AA meeting everyday...today I did two. I know I could not do this without a support system and a Higher Power...NO WAY. The withdrawal is a pain in the ass.... I am so fidgety in bed at night....I can NOT get comfortable, and my skin just itches everywhere! Last night was better and I actually got some sleep.

Hang in there. I will, too.

Michael

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Art. There seems to be several types of alcoholic in AA. Some get away with just meetings, others with coffees & chats. If you're like me you may need the psychic change that only working the steps can bring about. I lived with the obsession of wanting to drink again until I was on safe ground. Of course, that does mean meetings, coffee & chats but it also means going deeper & addressing alcoholism which is what gets me into trouble with or without a drink ;) This program also helps us clean up the mess 1Day@aTime! Godbless you. Keep coming back, my friend & new brother in recovery. It does get better & I do believe in you, Danielle x

Ellen E · Senior Member

And don't forget that if you don't get to meetings, you don't get what meetings offer. What meetings offer is the chance to be with people just like yourself who accept you just like you are. I couldn't find that anywhere else when I got sober. I couldn't even find that with other drinkers who were still drinking.

For me, I had to do first things first. My first "first thing" was to get into the habit of going to meetings every day. Not just some days---every day! Not just on days when I felt like it or days when I wasn't too tired or days when American Idol wasn't on or whatever.

Close on the heels of that I learned to get phone number and then actually use them!

It's easy for those of us who are sober every day for awhile to pile up stuff on the newcomers----"go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps". All you have to do first is go to a meeting every day. You don't even really have to be stopped drinking, although that does help a bunch. The desire to stop drinking qualifies you to be a member of AA, but since you've got 7 days without it, I don't recommend losing precious ground drinking again because then you risk dying drunk. We can tell you that getting a sponsor and working the steps is what helped us to achieve lasting sobriety, but just stick to making it to meetings first. Then you can worry about what comes next once you get that down.

I can tell you that working the steps and having a sponsor were huge in my sobriety and they were but if I had had to do both of those immediately when I entered the doors of AA meetings, I'd have run out of there like a cut cat and probably would have died drunk. I had to just get some meetings under my belt first.

The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. Just go to meetings and the rest will follow. And then keep going to meetings.

ljc · MIP Old Timer

I remember telling my sponsor in the first 6 months of sobriety many, many times that this was sooooo hard ... ( working the steps, getting to meetings, going to work and dealing with other ppl, making ammends, etc, etc. ) poor me.

She would always say to me , " Did I ever tell you this would be easy ? " .

Well, no she never did.
But she did tell me that with Gods guidance, AA and her I could do it.

Id highly suggest you getting to meetings, finding a home group, getting a BB, finding a sponsor and a God and start working the steps.

Do your best to forget about the divorce, the wife, and the kids right now and get yourself comfortable with getting and being sober . Keep the focus on you and staying sober.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

acarpe3448 wrote:

Thanks for the input please keep it coming. One of the worst parts
of my whole situation has been the damage I have caused on my family.
My wife has left me, going through an expensive divorce, she wont let me see
my kids except by court order. What a mess I have made. At least today
I felt better and my hands stoped shacking. What lies ahead?

That was exactly my entry point into long term sobriety, freshly separated with a 2 yo son. I tried for a couple year, while going to AA meetings, to get sober, but I didn't have a sponsor, AA friends, working the steps, and accepting (building) a new sober identity and lifestyle. Life is wonderful now and I don't miss drinking, my drinking friends and that went with it. Wife #2 is awesome, son and I had more fun without his mom. There is life after divorce, and life is good.

Hang in there, it gets better. Don't give your X the satisfaction of making a point of your continued drinking. She was no doubt a big trigger for you to drink. Now that shes out of the picture, it will be much easier to stay sober. Embrace bachelorhood and get good at it. lol

SteveP · MIP Old Timer

Hey there acarpe, it sure goes get better, at least in my experience, IF I get to meetings and work the AA program.

It took me a while to get into my head (you see, I figured that I was pretty smart and had it all worked out, while in reality, I didn't know very much at all) that when I stopped going to meetings and working the AA program, I started to drink again. And when I drank again, it got a whole lot worse.

So, if it can work one day at a time for someone like me, who had to drink every day, I can say to anyone with complete honesty "it works if you work it" and "don't give up".

Keep coming back!

Steve