I completed my 5th step yesterday. I had my notebook out and was getting ready to open it and my sponsor said to me "You won't need that!" Caught me off guard to say the least. I ended up opening it just to use as a reference a couple times but the whole ordeal opened my eyes a bit more to just what my part was in the whole thing. My greatest fear was and still is 'where do I go from here?'
The best part about this is that I now have guidance (not my own) on working through steps 6&7 these next couple weeks. My sponsor told me to spend two weeks praying to have God remove these defects of character which are glaring and very apparent to me right now.
On a side note I just woke up a little bit ago and as I'm typing this I am coughing my head off. I'm on day 4 without a cigarette and I woke up with an insane urge to have a smoke. Slapped a patch on immediately and it's in God's hands now.
I asked my sponsor about a certain resentment involving a ton of guilt and shame about a girl who overdosed that I was close to a while back. I said that I might want to take this part of my 5th step to a pastor at the local church. After talking it over with him, he had told me to go ahead and make an appointment with this pastor. It's been over a year since I went to church and I think it is important that I stay open minded to the fact that this is a spiritual program and that I must take action in whatever area of my life where I need to grow spiritually. I shall keep you all posted on this one!
What a long post for me! I think I am learning the true meaning of humility as it applies to my life. I realize now that I need this program of Alcoholics Anonymous more than I ever have prior to getting sober. Yesterday was a busy day. I went to three meetings, did my 5th step, and I'm still alive to talk about it! Wow! I thought for sure a bolt of lightning might strike me down yesterday!
Thanks for letting me be a part of this wonderful Miracles In Progress board.
Congrats! Doing the 4th and 5th steps are initiation steps, to initiate action into our program. How did you feel when you completed the 5th step? This is where a lot of AAs say that they had their spiritual experience. It certainly was the case for me. I felt about 50lbs lighter and felt like I was walking 3' feet off the ground. A rush of calm, peace, and serenity came upon me and stayed for quite awhile.
Great, thanks for your imput on the fifth. I have just finished the fourth. I need a lot of support at this time and have been getting to a lot of meetings.
Congrats! Doing the 4th and 5th steps are initiation steps, to initiate action into our program. How did you feel when you completed the 5th step? This is where a lot of AAs say that they had their spiritual experience. It certainly was the case for me. I felt about 50lbs lighter and felt like I was walking 3' feet off the ground. A rush of calm, peace, and serenity came upon me and stayed for quite awhile.
Dean said it perfectly, congratulations, How did it feel to rid yourself of lifelong luggage? Did you feel relief? I remember how freeing it was for me.
Goosebumps, congratulations
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Thanks all. I do feel better. The last 5th step I did was one of those very freeing steps, where I felt a ton was lifted from me. This time around is a bit different because this is life or death for me and I am taking it very seriously. These resentments are going to take work to be free of to the point that I wan't to take it. I hope I'm not confusing anyone, it's just that I need a ton of guidance right now.
"These resentments are going to take work to be free"
------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Big Book tells us that resentments are our number one problem.
My sponsor told me to pray for anyone I had a resentment against. He cautioned me not to pray that God make the person better. Doing so would just be me trying to control things as I had always done. My sponsor said that my prayers should be that God grant the person all the good things in life and all of the blessings that I wanted. It works if you work it.
It always helps me prevent resentments in the first place if I can remember to "PUT DOWN THE MAGNIFYING GLASS AND PICK UP THE MIRROR" The tenth step axiom has always proved correct for me.
Keep trying, It takes time and practice but the results are amazing.
Thanks Dean and Larry. My sponsor suggested the same thing with prayer for the people on my list in the way you talked about. Dropping the rock.........have to take it one pebble at a time!
WAY TO GO jUSTIN! Spiritual awakenings have many different facets but 2 that are usually common to all are a 'lose of lonliness and a sense of direction.Some also believe that spiritual awakenings are meaningless unless accompanied by an increase in peace of mind and an increased concern for others,,My loss of lonliness showed in my life as I was able to relieve the guilt and secrets and shame I was never able to share with another,especially the priest in the confessional, once shared with my sponsor. I then felt I could share myself honestly and my new direction was God centered spending each day praying for knowledge of His will for me and stepping back to listen for the answer.Keep the slate as clean as our humaness will allow us and your HP will take care the rest.You got to be excited!!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I remember when my sponsor told me to pray for the people I had resentment towards - I was really quite angry. I said to her - that's being hypocritical I'm NOT doing THAT! NO WAY. I thought it was CRAZY.......and she & AA was nuts! I thought For God's sake.........pray for them........yeah! I'll pray for them alright. Pray that they NEVER get peace! Oh I was mad.
Of course, the truth was very clear. Doing things my way had not worked thus far - always started drinking again. I am not saying everybody does but I did. My way was simply not working. This lady sat in front of me had many years sobriety - clearly she was doing something right - she had the secret!!!! She reminded me I had told her I would go to any lengths to get and stay sober.
I'm not going to lie, I DO still struggle with that aspect of the program but nonetheless I do it. Sometimes I only manage to say ...God Bless (it's usually my parents) and on occasions I have managed to say...."bring them all lovely things and peace......."
Yes it does work if you work it - for sure. I now just say to myself "Louisa! JUST DO IT!!" Lots of love, Louisa xx
Way to go Justin! One of the things that I felt when I did my Step 5 was a real sense of belonging. I'd been going to meetings and hearing people talking about their Step 5 experience...it's something that I had identified as really crossing the street in AA.
I started to get serious about AA after I had done that, really getting to meetings, and got on to working Steps 6 and 7 after that. I've found that I still have a lot of those character defects/shortcomings, but the difference is that today, they don't rule me, like they did before.
Oh I was mad.
She reminded me I had told her I would go to any lengths to get and stay sober.