When you worked the steps, did it work? Did you have a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from Alcoholism?
Did the promises of each step come true for you?
so my question is, to those that have worked the steps, are these following statements true for you?
Did the third step promises come true? which are:
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our own little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.
This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
Did the ninth step promises come true?
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
did the tenth step promises come true for you?
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Did The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous work for you?
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Yes, I'd say that those have availed for me. I did my 4th and 5th steps at 6 months and haven't had a desire to drink since. All of the 9th step promises ring true for me. When I look back at my life before sobriety, it seems like a bad dream or a movie about someone else's life, like it never really happened. I'm just not that person any more. When I was drinking, I was grossly immature and stuck in an emotional state where years and decades went by and nothing changed. Now I notice positive changes and mental changes in attitude on a semi-annual basis. I no longer think that I'll like something forever or dislike it forever, I know now that life ebbs and flows, and my likes and desires change and evolve. I've stopped fighting everything and everything just to prove that I'm right or over general principals (for most part lol). I've accepted myself and my place in this world wholly and am pleased and grateful about it. It didn't happen in a year of two though. I'd say that somewhere between 3 and 5 years is when I started feeling very comfortable with my sobriety, where it didn't matter to me who knew or what I'd say if asked. There no shame involved about it and I know that when I do talk about it I'll get a favorable positive response. The best thing that's happening is that I don't feel the need to force things to happen today. If there is resistance in a pursuit I'm taking, I can find pause, pray for guidance and assistance and it usually comes, and if it doesn't, I realize that I'm on the wrong course or taking unnecessary steps. I did get a lot of outside help with improving my relationship skills (other programs, books, tapes, seminars) and I highly recommend it. Be all that you can be.
The 3d step and 9th step promises came true for me, but it's not like you do the step(s) and then all the benefits suddenly occur.
Once you do the intitial 3d step I think it is a good ideal to read the prayer and make a new commitment every day.
I got sober in the Akron, Clev Oh area and believe it or not for some reason the promises where not read very often at meetings. I was maybe 2 years sober and I heard them read and I then realized they had come true for me.
I believe it is a combination of not drinking, service work, working the steps, helping others when I could, and trying to maintain a good spiritual condition one day at a time that will result in one realizing the promises.
I wouldn't worry about the promises, you can't work the promises, all you can do is work the process I mentioned above.
Honestly, I have recieved way more that just the promises mentioned in the book, but if I only got my life and my sanity back I would have been enough.
Take note and be grateful for all the positive things in your life, however small, and great things will come to pass.
Good subject!
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Thanks for the answers, I am asking so newcomers see the answers, I wrote this long blah blah blah thing, because I can get a bit wordy, but I thought a more effective way to communicate my point would be to ask others what their experience was with working the steps.
I have worked the steps, they saved my life, out of 222 friends I have on Facebook (all real life friends) I would guess 200 of them are sober, my whole life has always revolved around alcohol, from my childhood, to partying in high school, to becoming a bartender 3 days after I turned 21, to getting sober at 27 in 1992. I needed the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism that working the steps bring.
I see people here slipping, so I thought I would point out the one thing that those with long term sobriety have generally done.
We Work The Steps.
Meetings don't keep us sober.
I am willing to bet just about everyone here with long term contented Sobriety has actually worked the steps with a sponsor, so I want to show the newcomer what we have in common.
We worked the steps.
I hear things like "don't drink and go to meetings" in meetings and see it online, and "think the drink through" and while these are catchy phrases, they didn't work for me, what worked for me was the steps so I thought I would illustrate that with asking people who have also worked the steps what their result was.
So far we are 3-0
I could drink and go to meetings, but until I grabbed on to the steps, I literally could NOT "don't drink and go to meetings" because I had lost control of my drinking,
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals usually brief were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
Don't drink and go to meetings
In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.
Don't drink and go to more meetings
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums we could increase the list ad infinitum.
I would absolutely add "Don't drink and go to meetings" to that last list.
It just didn't work for me, I have been watching the same people skid in and out of the rooms for 20 years, it's the one thing they all have in common.
They don't work the steps, they go to a hellova lotta meetings though.
I always felt if I just tried a little harder, for a little longer, if I just went to more meetings and shared about what was going on, that if I used enough "will power" I could stay sober. not drinking and going to meetings, for me:
This led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
In my observation, the program of AA is what is contained in the Big Book, it's finding a sponsor, and working the steps, not what we hear at meetings, meetings are where I go to find the still suffering alcoholic so I can help them, and where I went when I was still suffering to find a sponsor and learn a little bit about how people implemented the program in their life, I didn't go for group therapy, I went to get sober, I went to find the fellowship, a sponsor, and to learn about the program of AA, not whine about my day. I am of the school that an alcoholic of my type is unable to stay sober without working the steps, there are many that can just attend meetings and stay sober, I am just not one of them. I had to work the steps to get the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism.
If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution.
This is a letter Bill wrote in 1940 about using just meetings to stay sober
During the past 12 months we have had quite a number who felt that the fellowship, the helpful attitude toward others, the warming of the heart at social gatherings, was going to be sufficient to overcome the alcoholics obsession. Taking stock at years end, we find that this school of thought has few survivors, for the bottled heat treatment has persuaded them that we must find some sort of spiritual basis for living, else we die. A few, who have worked ardently with other alcoholics on the philosophical, rather than the spiritual plane, now say of themselves We believed that Faith without works was dead, but we have now conclusively proved that works without Faith is dead also.
"Play the tape all the way through" "Think through the drink"
These have also never worked for me. If I could have thought myself sober, I, by definition, aren't an alcoholic.
Page 24 Paragraph 2: "The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink."
Page 24, paragraph 3: "The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. I f these thoughts do occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."
Page 43, paragraph 4: "Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."
Page 24, paragraph 2: "We are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago."
Page 34, paragraph 2: "Many of us felt we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it--this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."
Page 34, paragraph 3: "Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not."
So I am hoping this thread will peak someone's curiosity, someone who gets a month here, and a month there, 6 months here, a year there, or someone new to the program entirely. What works?
As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.
For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not
For me it's The Triangle, Service, Unity, Recovery, it's like spokes on a bicycle, when i drop too many my path gets wobbly
If you are wondering when to start the steps, or if there is a time frame for the steps, yes.
Now, we work the steps and then feel better, we don't wait until we feel better then work the steps. Actually, I am lying, my experience is I start in a blaze of smoke but start balking until I am ready to put a gun in my mouth, then get real busy. There is a reason pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth, in many cases it's what gets us moving. I have worked the steps thoroughly 8 times now.
so when do we start?
Page 56, paragraph 3: "What often takes place in a few months can hardly be brought about by himself alone." (having had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps?)
Page 63, paragraph3: "Next we launched on a course of vigorous action."
Page 64, Paragraph 1: "Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us"
If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning.
The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk (We define a newcomer in every meeting I have ever attended, someone in their first 30 days or newly out of a treatment center, they are talking about doing the fifth step in your first 30 days here))
Page 74, paragraph 2: "If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity"
We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at; that he will not try to change our plan. But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.
Page 75, paragraph 3: "Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for AN HOUR, carefully reviewing what we have done."
We help each other, and we stick together, because we are all in this together, and if just one person reads this thread, and sees your stories of how working the steps changed your lives, maybe it will change his/hers.
So if you are unable to stay sober for any long period of time, and would like to change, we can help.
You never have to drink again
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Thanks Ago, I have found these to be true in my program. I'm going to do the 5th step today in a few hours and the promises that come with that I am looking forward to! I believe every step has to be worked with a sponsor until we have a firm footing in recovery. The 10th, 11th, and 12 step will eventually be mine to work alone so as to become closer to my creator. One thing I do know is that these steps and you people are saving my life on a daily basis!
When you worked the steps, did it work? Did you have a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from Alcoholism?
Yes, the steps worked when nothing else did. Personality change? Still, on a fairly regular basis, I'll find myself in some situation "objectively observing" and utter a heart-felt, "Wow -- is this really me?" Not counting the few early years it took for me to find alcohol, I've been sober about a sixth of my life. Alcohol was my solution for about 2/3 of my life. The "me" who responds soberly to life is fairly new on the scene. She still amazes me. She doesn't need to drink. Wow.
Did the promises of each step come true for you?
so my question is, to those that have worked the steps, are these following statements true for you?
Did the third step promises come true? which are:
***More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.***
I highlighted that one particular promise above because I had a lot of angst over it. I was wheelchair-bound when I got sober. I didn't have any money to take a still-sizzling newcomer out for coffee and pie. I couldn't imagine ever being able to dress quickly in the middle of the night to join someone on a 12-step call. I wasn't capable of doing many of the traditional "entry-level" service jobs -- making coffee, setting up chairs, hell! being able to unlock and get the dang door open!
I expressed these concerns to my sponsor, and she told me not to worry about it, to put one foot in front of the other (To which I replied, "Thanks, Trace -- I can't $%#@ walk!"). She told me we all have gifts and that it's not our business to know what they are. I won't bore anyone here with my incredible list of gifts I've realized--but I'll say that it's been a very long time since I questioned the wisdom of faith. "
>Did the ninth step promises come true?
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Did The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous work for you?
I have faced times when I wasn't in fit spiritual condition. The early instances, I was still so desperate for a solution (that didn't involve alcohol) that I grasped for the still-new tools I was given. In the latter instances, those tools have become so well-worn that they practically jumped into my hands. Prayer, finding gratitude, turning my attention to someone else in need--these things became automatic because, as I took each successive step with my sponsor, I was told, "Now you have that step. Use it or lose it." Living the steps does become a way of life, which comes back around to the original question: "Did you have a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from Alcoholism?" Yes. But it wasn't God touching me on the had with the magic God-wand. Sure, I received a lot of grace, but I was charged with doing the work. Through the work, the personality change occurred--not the other way around. Great topic, AGO.
Yes, the promises come true, just not all in one go and they never stop coming true, they roll on and on.
I found it hard to see the change and the promises coming true, sometimes I had to have it pointed out (Like some people would say man you've changed, you were a real threatening, stroppy, obnoxiuos, self pitying arse* when you arrived - bless them they talk straight round here.)
[*also known as a test of Patience and Tolerance]
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Meeting Makers Make It. I began connecting to AA by deciding to go to meetings. From the beginning, my sponsor expressed a difference between just staying sober and having sobriety that leads to the promises. Through her teaching and my experience I think this happens by working the steps.
I never did 90 in 90. For many people, this is invaluable to immerse themselves in a sober life. I committed to no less than 3 meetings a week and two of them are step/literature studies.
After the fifth step I didn't have a blinding moment of truth. The promises have come, but I only realize that they are at work in my life and happening by remembering how it was before. I live each day for today. In the moment it doesn't feel that big, but when I think back I then realize how far I have come and how good life is now.
I need all of it, meetings, sponsor and the steps. I do think the key to the door which leads to the other side, and my new brilliant life, is in working the steps.
I know folks who were going to regular meetings and still relapsed. I think this is because they did not use the step actively. Also, I hear from people who have stayed sober but gradually stopped going to meetings or work the steps, and then things start to get hairy scary.
I hope to stay active in recovering so I can always continue to grow One Day At A Time.
-- Edited by angelov8 on Friday 12th of March 2010 05:11:19 PM
Meeting Makers Make It. I began connecting to AA by deciding to go to meetings. From the beginning, my sponsor expressed a difference between just staying sober and having sobriety that leads to the promises. Through her teaching and my experience I think this happens by working the steps.
I never did 90 in 90. For many people, this is invaluable to immerse themselves in a sober life. I committed to no less than 3 meetings a week and two of them are step/literature studies.
After the fifth step I didn't have a blinding moment of truth. The promises have come, but I only realize that they are at work in my life and happening by remembering how it was before. I live each day for today. In the moment it doesn't feel that big, but when I think back I then realize how far I have come and how good life is now.
I need all of it, meetings, sponsor and the steps. I do think the key to the door which leads to the other side, and my new brilliant life, is in working the steps.
I know folks who were going to regular meetings and still relapsed. I think this is because they did not use the step actively. Also, I hear from people who have stayed sober but gradually stopped going to meetings or work the steps, and then things start to get hairy scary.
I hope to stay active in recovering so I can always continue to grow One Day At A Time.
-- Edited by angelov8 on Friday 12th of March 2010 05:11:19 PM
Thank You so much everyone, I think this message is important, that if we work the steps, they work.
The Book says about the promises: Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, they always materialize if we work for them.
Going to a meeting is not the work being referred to here.
I have done many 90 in 90's, and they have always done me good. I have a very good friend who believes there are too many meetings, "why do the work when you can just go to a meeting?" is his premise, and while I understand what he is saying, I don't agree, I absolutely immersed myself in the steps, meetings, and fellowship when I was new because that is what I needed.
The point I agree with him is sometimes the message gets lost that "meeting makers make it" (which came to us from our brother program NA by the way, it didn't originate in AA, "We have learned from our group experience that those who keepcoming to our meetingsregularlystay clean." NA Basic Text page 9) by people thinking "don't drink and go to meetings" IS the answer. I believe that don't drink and go to meetings means that is where we can FIND the answer.
Which is the steps
I love that every single poster that has worked the steps categorically states those promises came true for them.
I have a very scientific approach to my sobriety, each step has conditions and promises, if you do this like this, you get this. So rather then just talk about my experience and observations with these, I thought I would let all of you that have worked the steps do it for me. The steps to me are literally an algorithm, a math problem, where we arrive at:
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps
THE terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism
as the result of the steps
I realize I come across as wordy, but I am trying to carry the message to those still suffering inside and outside of the rooms. The alcoholics who ask "How do I do this thing? How did you all get sober and stay sober? What do you all have in common? Why can't I stop, why do I keep relapsing? I go to meetings, why can't I stay sober? and when I do stop drinking why do I always go back, even after 6 months?
I know for me after many years of sobriety I drifted away from my sober friends, I stopped going to meetings, and I lived in a very unhealthy and painful situation, and my life went back to: We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people
So taking a drink seems a good idea after living that kind of sober hell, I mean who wouldn't drink when that is what life is like 24/7 sober.
Some may wonder why I lay this all out in such a cold, analytical manner, well:
Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us
Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness
Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight
So what better depth and weight then asking those that have worked the steps if they worked or not?
This is why I studied the Big Book as if my life depended on it.
Because it did.
Thank you all so much, keep them coming.
-- Edited by AGO on Friday 12th of March 2010 07:13:01 PM
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
"I know for me after many years of sobriety I drifted away from my sober friends, I stopped going to meetings, and I lived in a very unhealthy and painful situation, and my life went back to: We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people
So taking a drink seems a good idea after living that kind of sober hell, I mean who wouldn't drink when that is what life is like 24/7 sober".
I am very confused and overwhelmed by your post. While I understand you are advocating steps and I concur by the way. Yet, your emphasis on scientific analysis simply does not work for me. In fact, if I thought of it this way, I don't think I could stay sober. I find flexibility in the steps and if emotion enters the frame, this is ok too. For years I used drink to stuff down that type of emotion. The winners I see at meetings have gone for years, they go to far more meetings than I do and their help and support has been invaluable over the last six months. I hope I could do the same for people if I manage to stick around. I like the big book too but it does not replace face to face meetings, I am not equipped to deal with this on my own and get easily isolated when I try to do so.
"I know for me after many years of sobriety I drifted away from my sober friends, I stopped going to meetings, and I lived in a very unhealthy and painful situation, and my life went back to: We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people
So taking a drink seems a good idea after living that kind of sober hell, I mean who wouldn't drink when that is what life is like 24/7 sober".
I am very confused and overwhelmed by your post. While I understand you are advocating steps and I concur by the way. Yet, your emphasis on scientific analysis simply does not work for me. In fact, if I thought of it this way, I don't think I could stay sober. I find flexibility in the steps and if emotion enters the frame, this is ok too. For years I used drink to stuff down that type of emotion. The winners I see at meetings have gone for years, they go to far more meetings than I do and their help and support has been invaluable over the last six months. I hope I could do the same for people if I manage to stick around. I like the big book too but it does not replace face to face meetings, I am not equipped to deal with this on my own and get easily isolated when I try to do so.
Hi Newcomer, Congratulations on finishing your fourth step, I remember how ready I was to dump all that in my fifth . What does your sponsor say? Is she ready to move forward? This was a very exciting time for me, and the fifth step is SO freeing, it was a very liberating experience for me. I got to dump all those things I had been carrying all of my life that quite frankly the fourth step brought into stark relief and made bigger, I couldn't wait to get rid of all this.
Keeping it simple is fine, I am not saying don't go to meetings, meetings were absolutely important to me, I am only making the point by asking the people who have worked the steps with a sponsor did the steps work. Did the promises come true for them as they worked each step?
Everyone who has worked the steps has answered in the affirmative. They have all recovered from a seeming hopeless condition of mind and body. That was my only point. I wasn't trying to invalidate anyone's experience nor be confusing.
-- Edited by AGO on Saturday 13th of March 2010 10:18:41 AM
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I think I see what you mean now. I am working very closely with my sponsor who is really great. I ring her everyday andto be frank going to meeting is part of the deal as is doing the steps. I will be doing the fifth the week after next and I am looking forward to it. Because my sobriety is so important to me, I am fearful around it. I am not that confident as a week ago, a fellow member went back out there again and it did upset me. As my sponsor has told me, it is the one disease that tell us we don't have it and I love to live with a false sense of reality, so it is really something I have to watch.
That sounds great NC, it sounds like you are doing great and have a good sponsor.
When we stay close we do see what happens when people go out, and we get to see people come back, I refer to those folks as AA's Research and Development Team and I have spent enough time among their ranks to where I don't feel the need to join them again.
As far as having a false sense of reality...LOL...ummm...welcome to AA, I believe I can state categorically that's something else we all have in common, with the steps and a good support group we get to remap our reality, look at Deans great post in the gratitude thread for just one example of that.
Thank you for having this dialog with me, and you sound like you are doing great and you are in the right place.
__________________
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Congratulations NEWCOMER on finishing your 4th step. Anyone that says you can't scare an Alcoholic has'nt suggested that they do a 4th and 5th step. I was scared to death and everyone that I have talked that has taken these were also.
If you have fear remember that "FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real"
Work the 5th step in spite of your fears, you will be amazed at the result
A tremendous relief came over me after my 5th step was completed. All of a sudden my innermost, darkest secrets that I had vowed that I would take to the grave with me NO LONGER MATTERED! Thats right they were out in the open and no longer mattered. What a relief!! As a matter of fact since then during discussion meetings and when appropriate I have often felt comfortable sharing with others what had previously been my deepest secrets.
It is said in AA that we are only as sick as our secrets and that sure seems to be my case.
Keep doing the next right thing.
Larry,
------------------------------------------------------------------------- You can't save your face & your ass at the same time
Yes I have worked the steps with my sponsor. And yes all the promises have come true. And today I continue to work the steps when I guide sponsee's thru the steps.
The program of AA only works if its worked the way it is laid out for Us.
Yeah...some of them came true through living the steps and high meeting attendance and surrender to the program. In this aspect, I worked steps 1 through 3 experientially as well as on paper. I am less self-seeking to a large degree...I don't sweat financial stuff that much. There are problems now that used to baffle me that I solve intuitively. Again though, this stuff is not all black and white and I believe our healing comes in progressive stages... So I am closer to those promises than I was due to the efforts I put into the program. I believe the promises come true from working the whole AA program...not just steps (even though the steps are the all encompassing guide...but they wrap around major life changes, changes in routine, changes in actions...etc).
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
