I've joined here because I'm worried about my drinking.
Maybe it's denial, but I really don't think I'm an alcoholic. I just have been partying a lot and I'm worried about it developing into alcoholism.
I've been finding comfort in drinking. I actually work at a bar, and I don't drink on the job and I can completely control myself being around it. But recently after a tough shift, I found myself buying two glasses of wine and chugging them down within a minute just to relax a little.
I have also been going out a lot more. Some friends would come in from out of town and I'd take them out and have an easy dozen beers.
The other day I went out after not having much sleep and drank about 8 beers or so in about two hours. I don't remember anything after I got home, and when I woke up, I realized that I did some work after I got home (I work from home as well). Even though the work I did was actually great, I was concerned about not having remembered doing any of it.
Last night I went to a friend's bar with my cousin, and right after telling my cousin in the car ont he way over that I was trying to cut down my partying, once I got to the bar I had a shot and about 3 beers within the first 20 minutes. When I realized that they didn't have my favorite beer, I went with Corona with two limes and I just chug them like water. So, I'd order one, drink down to the neck and order my next because I knew that by the time I got the next beer, Id' have completley finished this one. It went like that al night.
I woke up today a sweaty mess. Though not hungover, I was unable to do several things that I had intended to do today.
My tolerance for alcohol is strong, and that worries me. My not having remembered a chunk of my night from last Sunday worries me. Me having gone out three times in the past week and having drank at least 10 drinks within a few hours each time worries me.
Even if you are not an alcoholic, and only you can figure that out for yourself, at least you are aware there could be a problem. Awareness is the first step!
Do you have any friends in AA? If I were you, I would try going to a few meetings and seeing if anything clicks. If you identify with a lot of people and their experiences, chances are you could be. But again, only you can know that from within.
The fact that it is raising concern is usually an indication, but I have plenty of friends that could've potentially had problems back in our "party days" and some of them hardly go out anymore.
I understand completely how you feel! Although, deep down I always knew I was an alcoholic! I just chose to deny it! I come from two alcoholic parents, so I was pretty much doomed from the beginning.
Because I chose to deny it for years and justify it on so many different levels, my drinking lead to many problems! If you really think you might have a problem, definitely do something about it early ... before it causes major consequences!!
Most would just look at this as a young guy partying, and say that it's what I SHOULD be doing at this age (24). I think many more peopel have alcohol problems, so much that it's accepted and labelled as partying. But I know who I am, and I'm not in need of another party phase of my life.
I think my colleagues are starting to realize that I might have a problem, or that I am developing a serious party life at the least. I don't like that. My position requires that I be respected. I owe it to myself to contain my "problem".
I'm just kinda thinkin whether or not I should stop completely or just calm it down.
I don't think at 24 anybody could have told me at 45 i would be in the rooms, I drink because I like the way it makes me feel, not matter how injurious it is. so if it is still fun, do it til the wheels fall off! this is a self diagnosed deal, I can't tell you if you should stop, nobody could tell me..... my hats off 2 you if you can still drink like a gentleman
I can also relate to the age thing ... I'm 26 now and I stopped for the first time when I was 23. It is really hard when all of our friends are still partying, but I always take it to the next level and I got really tired of not remembering my nights out and wondering what I said or did, or how I got home!
I went to a big "party school" in college, so I justified my drinking all through college because everyone was out of control. But in reality, I should've stopped when I was 17 or 18!! (I got my *first* DUI at 18.)
I would try cutting back on your own and if you find that you can't and that you are right back at it, then I would seriously look at your drinking and maybe look into going to some meetings.
You just really have to ask yourself if you are happy with the way your life is right now. I know I wasn't!! As much as I still want to be able to drink with my friends, it is too much of a liability for me because I never know what is going to happen.
You will figure it out! But if you are still having a good time, that is all that matters! It's when the bad starts to outweigh the good that you need to start looking at what is going on!
are you irratable restless and discontent when your not drinking? has your life become unmanageable when your not drinking...do you always want to be somewhere else besides where you are? just a few question I got asked
...We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pp 32
...Most of us believed that if we could remain sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. ...We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again:" Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. pp 33
And finally...To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. pp33
I drank because it worked for me. It wasn't youth, or partying for me. It changed my whole outlook on life when I could drink. I spent years chasing that feeling. When the drinking quit working for me, I tried to stop and found I couldn't. So I spent a few more years drinking, not because I enjoyed it anymore, but because I had to. I have been sober over 4 years, and they have been the best years of my life!
are you irratable restless and discontent when your not drinking? has your life become unmanageable when your not drinking...do you always want to be somewhere else besides where you are? just a few question I got asked
Honestly, yes. My life is pretty good, but for the first time in my adult life, I'm not happy with who I am and where I am. I realize right now that when I drink, I loosen upa dn forget the things that bother me. I return to my very outgoing self....the kind of person I always was and thatpeople enjoyed being around. So, through logic, when I drink these days, I'm the old me and people enjoy me when I drink. Alcohol has become a social dependent for me I guess.
I'm just glad that I'm able to be aware of all of this. Most of my problem, I think, is to not fix my drinking, but to fix that other areas of my life that make me unhappy, and then the drinking problem will go away on its own after I accomplish that. At least in theory. In the mean time I will control myself, or see how I do in trying.
Tomorrow, I have a date in the afternoon, and then a business meeting in the evening. Both will surely present the chance for me to consume alcohol. My first test. I'm excited.
Thanks again for all your feedback and for lending an ear. This is new stuff to me and you make me feel welcomed and better about myself.
Well, the date went well. She wanted to drink, so we went to a MExican restaurant and she had a beer.
I had literally one sip of her beer. There was a lot of foam and she freaked out and I sipped the foam to get rid of it. I didn't even have an urge to order a drink, much less chug hers.
So far so good. Leaving for a meeting in a few minutes, so we'll see how that goes. :)
