Not really sure what to say here, or why I'm even posting. I'm just so sick and tired of feeling like this. I've been sitting here trying to think of the appropriate word and I think I've found it... Despair. I've used my phone list and talked to one person. It helped some. Tried to call my sponsor, but she's in FL... no answer. Tried to call the other woman who volunteered to be my sponsor. She didn't answer, but text'd me back saying she's slammed and will call back "in the next day or so." I'm terribly lonely, my hubby is out of town and I really want to drink. Funny thing is that I think I can handle it. What a joke. Want to get to a meeting, but still trying to find a sitter. Ugh.
Sent you a pm with my phone number and I'm sure that a lot of the ladies in here would do the same. Many of us also find comfort in reading the AA literature, when we're feeling squirrely.
edit: hey, you already have my number
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 9th of March 2010 05:54:44 PM
Runnergirl, I just sent you a PM with my phone #. Call someone if you need too!!!
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
Almost every meeting I have ever been to either doesn't mind kids, has childcare, or has alcoholics willing to watch your kids while you are in the meeting especially in early sobriety, it's how we are of service many times. The times I have watched children at meetings have been some of the best meetings I ever didn't attend, I walked away with a sense of joy and a sense of purpose and a sense of a job well done. Maybe your job tonight is to provide another alcoholic a chance to be of service. You may save and improve many lives besides your own, consider it would help ensure your kids a life with a sober mother and may keep another alcoholic sober one more day.
God works in mysterious ways if we let him.
In my early years I remember getting irritated by unruly children until I thought once about how important it was for their mother to be at that meeting rather then drunk at home or at a bar, and how much better those childrens life will be with a sober mother.
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Thanks so much for the support, guys. Didn't make it to a meeting, but did get in a couple of good talks with sober friends. Hoping to make it to a meeting tomorrow cause I don't see the blues lifting anytime soon.
Your doing it, even if it feels hard and weird and ugly. Be glad you didn't drink for today. Glad you were able to talk to sober folks. This is all very normal, and gets better and easier as you go.
Just read you Post from last night, just a couple of questions,
Exactly what are you so tired of?? Staying Sober, staying home without your husband?
And your statement "Hoping to make it to a meeting tomorrow cause I don't see the blues lifting anytime soon."
The only way I have ever been able to avoid the "blues" is to not allow them in when they invite themselves in.....reaching up first to my HP, whom I choose to call God, Pray for help, then reaching out to another human being is the answer for me.....
Is your Sponsor someone that is in your life everyday, giving you some good suggestions on working the Steps???
Agree with Mike, pen and paper, making those gratitude lists, takes under 3 minutes, and they work their way into you entire day, like little comforting thoughts that override any negative thoughts.
If you have continued to not drink, then a big Congratulations, and these mood swings are pretty "to be expected"
Just sounds like to me that you have not found your network of people you can rely on......and those Steps Laurie, working the Steps in this Program is like walking right up a beautiful staircase....into the sunlight of the Spirit, and out of the Disease of the baffling and powerful Disease or Alcoholism that WE all Share with you dear, you are never alone....ever.....we are together in Spirit, all of us....and WE can do this together.....all we have to do is do this one day at a time.
I just said a Prayer for you that you find that meeting today, and just allow that meeting, the people in the rooms, speaking from their hearts, collectively help you just stomp the hell out of those Blues and let our precious Laurie, have instead, a day full of peace and love and Gratitude. That is my Prayer for you.
You are one of us here, and personally, I cannot stand to see any of us suffer!
You will be surpised that if you follow the path the blues will be taken over by a pink cloud!! Hang in there and you will feel much better soon!!! We have all been there!!! Hugs
It took me quite some time working the program to realize I did have some choice over whether I felt like crap all the time or not. It will get better. Just do the next right thing
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
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