I'm an alcoholic and it's beyond time to quit. I hate waking up, worrying about my first drink. Every day has become like the movie Groundhog Day. I want to quit. I NEED to quit. I've lost girlfriends, friends, and become secluded from my family.
I come from an addictive family. My mother is addicted to meth/cocaine/alcohol, my uncle is addicted to pain killers, my grandfather drinks a strong martini every night.
Today, I attended my first AA meeting. I made a lot of calls and one lady suggested that I keep a log of every time I take a drink (my poison is Vodka). I knew last year that I needed help, so I saved up as much as I could to afford rehab, but it's still not enough and the nearest detox clinic is about 3.5 hours away.
At the AA meeting, I gave out my number to a few people that wanted it and got a call about an hour later. He said that they are willing to book me a hotel and detox me there. Has anyone ever done this kind of thing? None of them are in the medical profession.
It was good to hear that others are in the same boat as I am and to hear them share their stories.
According to my log, I take a shot about every hour, sleep for a few hours, then go back until I can fall asleep (the main reason I started was because I couldn't sleep). I'm a combat vet so it's always been a difficult issue for me.
Regardless, my main question is if anyone has ever detoxed with the help of AA. I'm sorry if this question has been answered before, but I would appreciate any advice.
Hey B, Welcome to MIP & AA. First of all - thank you for your service and sacrifice. I've only been in the program 7 months (it works when you work it) but I have never heard of an AA "intervention" to detox somebody.
With the sleep issues and possible PTSD I highly suggest getting professional help, even if it seems unaffordable. I don't even know what country you're in, so I don't know what kind of social and medical programs or vet's assistance are available to you but please...if you're gonna do this, do it right, money be damned. You're better off in debt than dead. Even when a doctor is in AA - he's not to act as a doctor. In AA we're all just acloholics.
Yeah, that's why I was a little hesitant. Even the inpatient facilities in my city don't have medical staff, just counselors. So I figured if I was going to go through hell for a few days with no medicinal help, a hotel would be a lot cheaper and have people watch over me for free.
The weirdest part of the day is that I kinda went to the AA meeting on a whim/desperation. Met some good friends. They gave me a book to read which I'm just starting to delve into. On my way home, I picked up some Chinese food.
Guess what my fortune cookie said?
"Now is a good time for serenity; a book and a good friend."
If that's not a good sign, I'll be damned if I know what one is...
-- Edited by Mizuno54 on Sunday 28th of February 2010 04:49:10 AM
I am not a doctor and dont claim to be one either. I only know what works for me, and what I have seen work or maybe not work in others.
I believe back in the 'good old days' ppl did get detoxed without professional help. I also know that withdrawl from alcohol can be deadly.
I have also seen many recover from this illness regardless of their past or present circumstances and our own literature tells us that we can recover despite whatever is going on in our lives currently.
I personally would not allow the matter of money determine my fate. With that being said I also know that hospital emergency rooms do not turn away anyone with a medical emergency.
These members of AA that want to help you ... What is their experience, have they helped to detox anyone before with success ? And do you have a regular family hometown doctor that you can consult with ?
Bottom line is that if you want to quit drinking - You're gonna have to quit drinking. Plain and simple . How you go about doing that is your choice and not one to be taken lightly.
Back to your main question tho ... Yes, I detoxed with the help of AA . Meaning that , no, I did not go into any motel room and drink orange juice and kayro syrup and puke my gutts out , or suffer from any DT's, or hallucinations.
I got on my knee's at my bedside in my house and prayed to God that He help me. As a result of that, I got in touch with my sponsor and she and I began to work the 12 steps of the program. I attended meetings daily and listened, not saying a word. I didnt have anything to share, I didnt know anything except that I wanted to feel better. I continued to pray and take the suggestions of my sponsor. And I didnt pick up a drink thruought this whole process that started a little over 5 yrs ago, and has kept me sober right thru to this posting here this morning. It worked for me, and it has worked for millions of other alcoholics.
Mizuno, congrats for making a decision to get sober. Sounds like it's time that you did. Yes this program began with our founders detoxing people in their own home. I detoxed myself more than a couple of times, but I was in my late twenties then. LIke Ljc said, I'd consult with a Dr. first and let him/her tell you what the risks are according to your age and physical condition (which you didn't mention). The worst of the drying out will occur during the first 48 hours. You could always leave the hotel and go to the ER if you feel any life threatening symptoms. Personally I didn't, I just felt sick, had a lot of crazy thoughts, couldn't sleep and couldn't eat. Just goes to show that we are sick when we're engaged in our alcoholism and this disease kills people, so it's better to move forward toward recovery then keep killing ourselves.
Hit the emergency room if you have to...Don't gamble on your life. It is good to have others watch over you, though I don't understand the whole hotel room thing. Vodka was/is my main poison too. I had a detox period but I don't think it was as medically touch and go as your situation. I drank daily at the end...but really only getting blasted at night...I had not reached the point of around the clock drinking (this is not a judgment on you by the way cuz I would have reached it no doubt eventually if I didn't stop). AA is a program of letting God do for you what you cannot do for yourself. If you have to take a flying leap and go to the hospital to get this started...that is okay. It's now time to get your sanity, yourself, and your soul back and I hope you are willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to do it. Prayers for you as you get through this period. Don't give up. You took one great step already which was going to that meeting. Some people just die and never even make it there. Take care of yourself.
Mark
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Welcome,I would only suggest professional detox,may have other issues going on that may need medical advice for.Congratulations also on taking the step to get sober.Many of us also took"way to long" to come in from the storm>>>Keep coming back ,let us know whats up!!
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Congratulations on your decision to do something about your drinking. Aspects of your story are similar to mine, and I was able to quit. Good for you for going to AA, as well. Many people are unwilling to walk into that first meeting. As others have mentioned, AA is non-professional. However, some may be willing to sit with you during these first few days. The risks include seizures, DTs, heart attack, stroke--even death. I once sat with someone, and under the long distance instruction of a physician's assistant we weaned her off vodka & orange juice. Old timers in AA used to carry a bottle of Karo syrup when they made 12 step calls to administer if there was risk of seizures. Alcohol provides us with a lot of glucose, and the abrupt cessation shocks the nervous system. You mentioned that you were a combat vet. Are you eligible for any VA benefits? If the AA members are willing to help you out, I still hope that you are prepared to go to the emergency room if necessary. You will usually be out of danger 36-72 hours after the last drink. My fear was not quitting drinking; my fear was living sober. That's where AA came in. If you've read the steps you'll see that only the first one mentions drinking, and the remainder are a design for living sober. I quit drinking with absolutely no idea how to manage life "dry," so the 12 steps gave me hope. It has worked for many of us, and alcohol simply is not part of my life today.
The other folks here have already made wise comments. I just thought I'd add that I know of one woman who had a newcomer stay with her for two days while she detoxed. I don't know specifics, it's been mentioned with gratitude in meetings. I think a few others have done this to. That might be the "hotel room" thing. I feel certain, that if there were medical risks or other concerns, a doc would be or was consulted. They usually mention having done laundry for two days, for what that's worth. I think just monotonous light activities, and talking with someone can be a good thing. I was home alone, just one minute, one hour and one day at a time.
Thank you all for your advice and your stories. I'm very grateful I can have people to talk to about my disease and that others have been in my shoes before.
I'm scared.. I don't want to have a seizure. The worst I'm at is my occasional morning puke.. But then I found out that if I took a couple of shots in the morning, I didn't have to puke! Not only that, but the hang-over would go away. It's amazing how quickly this disease can sneak up on you.
My sponsor called me this morning. He's adamant about the Orange Juice and Karo/Honey routine, but I don't think I can just quit cold turkey. That's the part that scares me.
As per the VA, I went there in my early stages and she prescribed me hydroxyzine (sp?) and told me to start smoking marijuana and sent me on my way. I was like "What the hell?" The VA system is really a joke from my experience, but I may give it another try.
No, I never started smoking marijuana. I tried the hydroxies but that shit knocks you out for days and the mg's she gave me were akin to taking about an entire plate of Bennadryl.
Wow and Aloha Mizuno...Recovery is a leap of faith and you are in mid-leap...great faith getting to AA and here and having the willingness to reach out for solutions from those who are not perfect. All of us have our experiences, strengths and hopes so being in this crowd is positive. I could only try and when I started to try I also knew that I brought failure with me. I was more use to what didn't work that I just needed to be with and sit quietly and listen from those who had learned how it would work for them and then I was told to take what I liked and leave the rest. That scared the hell out of me cause I didn't know how much time I had left in me and I wanted what works right away. A simple humbling thought arrived which was if I didn't do what I was use to doing and did what others were doing at least I wouldn't get what I had been getting which was killing me. Pretty rare thought for an alcoholic fully entrenched in the disease.
Detox on a physical level is going alcohol free with all of the wierd stuff that happens with that and not taking another drink during that period. Detox on an emotional level is trying to live without altering my feelings with a chemical of choice. Detox on a mental level is learning to think without the filters of alcohol to cause me to change course in mid stream. Living in sanity was not something this alcoholic knew anything about and my current definition of sanity comes from within an early meeting from another member. (A continuous and orderly process of thought... an olympic process for me for which I might have earned a bronze and never a silver or gold I surmise.) Detox in spirit I believe you are at the door of now. The inner drive to be alcohol free and living a sober life as a matter of desire. I was once warned by an early sponsor that if I wasn't recovering on all those 4 levels at the same time I wasn't recovering. For him I am forever grateful.
You have to consider the feedback and then the suggestion and follow thru for your own sober well being. We are not perfect and never will be and you will not be either. Long Story short...we learn from doing. Get as much information as you can...don't drink or think. Listen and then do the best you can with what you have and don't quit.
You have legions of recovering alcoholics in support. We will share our experiences with you and need to include your own with ours. The feedback you have already heard from the MIP membership willing to support you is part of detox.
Good luck...keep coming back...always in support ((((hugs))))
I've just received great news. I'm still eligible for VA benefits, INCLUDING DETOX!!! I'm expecting a call tomorrow from the clinic. The sucky part is that I have to travel about 3.5 hours to get there. I called my sponsor and he said he'd drive me there at the drop of a hat. He's a fantastic person and I can't get over how much support I've received from AA. If only I had gone about 6 years ago, I wouldn't be in this terrible situation.
Thank you ALL for your help and advice. I'll continue to read the good book
"If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only spiritual experience will conquer."
I think I've found and made my peace with God. He won't put me in trouble for what I've done, but forgive me for everything I've done.
Mizuno, the only time that counts is Now, there is only Now. Time is a man made concept that corrupts us to worry about tomorrow and yesterday. Live for the now, one day at a time, and you'll be fine.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 2nd of March 2010 07:03:32 AM
You will be fine Mizuno. This surrender is powerful and it will be your strength later on if you continue to be willing as you are today. No worries...glad you are going to get well.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
The first three days were absolute hell. My body's balance was off the charts on almost every level... I was first led in to a dark room with one other guy, given 4 mg Ativan and laid down while some nurse sat in the doorway and watched me all night.
Morning came and I had to get up for breakfast.. I couldn't even walk. I was grasping onto the guard rail making my way slowly to the dining area with my legs that I couldn't even feel. Then it was back to bed and given 2 mg Ativan... more sleep. At lunch, the nurse brought it to me. I got it down.... for about a minute. He (male nurse) quickly grabbed the garbage and I unleashed into it. He said not to worry because it happens to everyone.
I told him that this is not the way I want to detox. I told him I wanted IV's, more bloodwork, the whole 9 yards. I KNEW my body was in dire need of something better. So he moved me upstairs out of this dungeon I was in, and into what actually looked like a hospital (which it is). I got my own room, own bed, a nurse 24 hrs a day, IV drips w/anti-nausea medication, supplements (LOTS of supplements), had my blood drawn sometimes multiple times daily.. The works. After all of the lab work was complete, I was told that if I were to continue drinking the way I was, I was given 5 years to live.
That was the scary part. I didn't want to hear it, but I needed to.
On my last day (today), I was told that my liver was still mad at me, but has made an outstanding bounce-back (thank God I went in as young as I am), but almost every single one of my system's functions have recovered completely. Now, to work on the Brain.
I leave for a 6 week sober living home on Monday *crosses fingers* where I will get psychiatric treatment and the works. I would have gone today, but there wasn't any room yet.
Anyway, that's my story.
The highlight of my humility was having an extremely hot 19 year old girl nurse watch me shower. lol. I felt so stupid. That, and when I got my "salt water" drips for being so dehydrated which made me have to poop every 15 minutes (which she also has to enjoy watching).
She was insanely smart for her age and very well spoken. Her goal she's working on now is becoming a Flight Nurse.
You know where I live a lot of hot flight nurses go to meetings, maybe if you catch some meetings you will meet one there too.
I'm only barely joking, whatever gets you to meetings is a good thing, and I am telling the truth about the nurses I have prolly 6 female friends that all became nurses after they got sober right off the top of my head
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