Lost my best paying freelance gig today. Sure, the money loss sucks, but the feelings of worthlessness it provokes are worse. Making it to bed time... that's the goal.
I'm a writer. It's an editorial job that pays pretty good money for magazine work. I basically bill them for my work. Just feeling like crap right now. We don't necessarily need the money, but it's just one more thing I suck at. (Yep, lot of negative self talk here...)
I understand now. That really stinks. Hang in there runner. Things like this seem to have a way of working out one way or the other when you stay sober. Could be there is something twice as good waiting for you behind curtain number three! Metaphorically speaking. I'm out of work for the most part and it's tough. But ya have to have faith that things will work themselves out. And above all a drink will not make matters any better no matter how enticing it sounds. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
I don't get the auto-jump to "lost job equals I'm no good". Doesn't make any sense. What happened to the 3rd step? The care of God means we are worthy.That's my 2-cents on the matter. Go to bed. Tomorrow will be another beautiful, sober day.
I don't get the auto-jump to "lost job equals I'm no good". Doesn't make any sense. What happened to the 3rd step? The care of God means we are worthy.That's my 2-cents on the matter. Go to bed. Tomorrow will be another beautiful, sober day.
The 3rd step? I just managed to eek out #1! Barely. I know it's f'd up thinking. It's hard to change 39 years of thinking... Thanks for the thoughts. I can make it through until bedtime. I have to.
When I came into the program I felt worthless with a huge emptiness inside of me. Even to this day people and events can trigger these feelings. It is normal to me. How long I choose to feel this way is a different story. In recovery I must take action against this disease of alcoholism. I can work steps, help others, and say a prayer whenever I choose. Reaching out for help can be the hardest thing to do. But if I want to stay sober it is a must in my book. Hang in there runner for tomorrow is another day!
Hey Runnergirl! You know the loss of work and material things can be very trying but the loss of our self worth can be devastating to us.There is literature that tells us living for today relieves the burden of the past and the fears of the future.We learned to take whatever actions are necessary and leave the results in the hands of our Higher Power!So I would suggest, tonight get a good sleep and tomorrow come back sober,loving yourself and ready for another day of life, given to most of us by the "grace " of God,his unmerited favor for us!!!C u tomorrow,!!!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Why not look at this as an opportunity to look for another gig someplace else ?
Ya keep beating yourself up, before you know it, you'll be drunk , not to mention think you deserve it too. This is not what AA teaches us. Please read the book, work the steps and pray that God give you the strength to get thru whatever it is you have to face.
RG, believe or not, that kind of thinking is self centered. It probably had nothing to do with you. Our self low self esteem wants to internalize negatives and make it our fault. Hey, if you don't need the money, now you've got more time to go to meetings. That's a positive right there.
Laurie, Hakunamatata? C'est la vie? So F*ckin' What? (SFW is my personal favorite, to tell you the truth.)
Now you have the time to work on the Next Great American Novel....the one that will haul our collective consciousness up from the abyss of literary mediocrity and into a life-giving realm of language and imagery that humanity's oxygen-starved intellects will ravenously inhale like surfacing pearl-divers gulping precious air, hands full of treasure and veins full of life-affirming pain!
Or you could give yourself a Brazilian with duct-tape and a hair-dryer. Your call.
